Will I Regret Placing My Child for Adoption?
Adoption is one of the hardest decisions that you will ever make. You are creating a better life for your child through adoption in Colorado, one where he or she will be a part of a healthy and loving family. You are being selfless and allowing your child to have a life that you cannot give him or her. This may cause you to feel regret later on in life because even though you want this great life for your child, years later, you could be in a better spot, and you may wish you raised your child because you’re ready to give them that life finally. You may ask yourself while you’re making your Colorado adoption plan: Will I regret placing my child up for adoption?
The honest answer is: you might. You might regret placing your child up for adoption. You just have to remember why you did so. It was the best choice for you and your child. You had to make that unexpected pregnancy decision, and adoption was the best option for you.
Here at Adoption Choices of Colorado, we have a support team of professionals who have seen and talked to birth mothers just like you. We know how hard adoption is, and we know that what you go through is not easy, even after years. You are not alone in your feelings. You are one of the bravest people for going through such a hard process as a birth mother.
If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption Choices of Colorado.
Take Your Time Making Your Adoption Decision
You have as much time as you want when thinking about whether or not adoption is the right thing for you and your child. Once you start your adoption plan and adoption process, you can stop at any time, and you can change your mind as many times as you want. Your adoption will not be final until you sign the final relinquishing papers.
Do your research on what adoption entails and how you can make it exactly how you want it. You are in control of everything within your adoption plan in Colorado. If you feel as if you may have regrets after your child is given away to the adoptive parents, choose an open or semi-open adoption where you can still have contact with your child, and you won’t be left wondering how they are years later.
Remember Why You Chose Adoption
Your situation of becoming unexpectedly pregnant could be different compared to other birth mothers. This might not have been the right time for you to raise a child, or you may be too young to even think about being a mom. You could be in a bad spot financially, or you just don’t have a good relationship with the birth father or don’t know who he is. Whatever the reasoning may be, adoption may be the best option for you.
When you are unexpectedly pregnant, you have three options: you can either raise your child, have an abortion, or place your child up for adoption. You already have a tough decision, but with placing a baby for adoption, you might be scared because even though you’re not ready to raise a child right now, you may feel regret later on when you actually can raise your child. Unfortunately, adoption is something that doesn’t allow for a redo. You can’t get your child back after legally releasing him or her to the adoptive parents you chose. This can cause a lot of anxiety for many birth mothers. Fortunately, there are those different types of adoption you can choose from that allow you to stay in contact with your child. This way, even though you won’t be the legal parent, you will still be in his or her life.
Grief is a Natural Part of the Adoption Process
Even though you placed your baby up for adoption and it was the best choice for yourself and your child, you will experience grief. This can include regret. You carried your child in you for however long, and you most likely gained an emotional connection to him or her.
Giving your baby away for adoption in Colorado is like losing a loved one. This is your biological child, and even though you never have that connection the adoptive parents will have by raising him or her, you still have that mother and child connection. This is a strong connection, and once you give birth and your child is given away to the adoptive parents, this connection is untethered because you will not have them in your life anymore.
It may feel like you lost someone with who you’ve known for a long time and have had a close, emotional connection. This is natural. Your feelings are valid. You should not be ashamed or feel bad for missing your child or wishing you had them back. Adoption is not easy, and there are a lot of positives to it, but there are also negative aspects to it. You are strong and can get through this hardship, though.
You Are Not Alone During Your Adoption Process
You are not the only birth mother in this world. There are other women who have gone through and are going through the same struggles as you. An unexpected pregnancy and deciding whether adoption is the best choice for you is traumatic. You will experience so many stages of grief throughout the entire Colorado adoption process, maybe your whole life. Adoption isn’t always super positive due to how hard it takes a toll on birth mothers like you.
Remember that you are not alone. You have people around you who are there to listen. Surround yourself with friends, family, anyone you trust who can help you through these hard times of regret and grief. You are not alone. We are here, too. Here at Adoption Choices of Colorado, we want to be a support team for you. If you ever need anything, we have professionals 24/7 who will help you through whatever you are going through. We have post-placement counseling that may be able to help you heal as well.
Healing takes time, and you may never be fully healed, but remind yourself why you chose adoption, why adoption was the best choice for you and your baby. You and your child are loved by many, and we know that a mother’s love is the strongest. Your love for your child allows them to be placed in a loving home where adoptive parents that you pick out for him or her raise your child as their own.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Molly Allington is an aspiring author born and raised in Syracuse, New York. When she’s not watching her latest Netflix obsession, you can find her nose deep in a book or in her writing. She has been writing books since she was twelve and is in the process of trying to get her finished books published. Molly has a BA in Creative Writing from Southern New Hampshire University. With her writing, she is hoping to share supportive information and help as many people as possible. Once she starts her own family, she is wanting to adopt.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!