Will I Feel Guilty if I Place My Baby for Adoption?
By Elle Kerrigan
Uncertainty plays a large role in considering adoption. Many women wonder if they will feel guilty if they place a baby for adoption. You may have heard the term “giving up a baby for adoption.” While this is a common phrase, it implies that you are giving something up when choosing adoption. This is not true. You made the best decision for yourself and your child with the situation you were given. An unplanned pregnancy is a tough circumstance to experience, and you deserve to be regarded with empathy. Your decision may not have been easy, and it’s possible that guilt may accompany it. However, guilt can be worked through and is not an indication that you made the wrong decision.
If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption Choices of Colorado.
Is it Normal to Feel Guilty After Placing a Baby for Adoption?
You are not alone in wondering if you will feel guilty after placing a baby for adoption. It is completely normal to worry about how the adoption will make you feel. The adoption process can be emotionally draining for the birth mother. There are many reasons why a woman may experience adoption guilt. For one, adoption can often have a negative connotation surrounding it. Those who have not experienced it themselves may speak about it with a narrow perspective, making birth mothers feel guilty. Additionally, it is common for guilt to be present in any big decision that requires a lot of thinking. You know that placing your baby for adoption is not a simple task. You may have spent a long time considering your options when you found out you were pregnant, possibly going back and forth between choices. It is only human to wonder what would have happened if you had chosen another path or whether or not you made the right decision. The important thing to remember is that dwelling on this will only cause more harm. There are strategies to cope with adoption guilt that we recommend here at Adoption Choices of Colorado.
Ways to Cope with Adoption Emotions
- Reach out: Reaching out for support is always a good idea. As a birth mother, you have support through resources like Adoption Choices of Colorado. If you choose adoption in Colorado, you can speak to one of our counselors at any time about your feelings. You may also find support through speaking with your adoptive family if you chose open adoption. Through connecting with them, you can see firsthand the happiness that your adoption has provided to your child and their family.
- Let yourself feel: It’s important to let yourself feel your emotions when having a hard time. Guilt is a tricky feeling, as it suggests that you have done something wrong that you need to correct. In reality, you haven’t done anything wrong, but guilt is a natural response to your situation. You need to experience your emotions in order to process them, so don’t feel shame about feeling this way.
- Attend a support group: Many adoption agencies hold support groups for birth mothers. These are very helpful in processing emotions. These women understand exactly what you have gone through. You can share your feelings with women who have pursued adoption in Aurora and throughout Colorado. It is likely that many of them are also dealing with guilt and have their own ways of coping that you may find helpful.
- Consider the positives of your decision: Remember: there are positive sides to choosing adoption. You made many people happy by making this choice (your adoptive family, your child, and even yourself). Keep this in mind to remind yourself that you have done a good thing. You can view your adoption in a different light in order to cope with the feelings that come with the process.
You are Not Alone When you Choose Adoption
It can feel lonely to place a baby for adoption, but you are never alone. Adoption Choices of Colorado is here for you if you are thinking of choosing adoption in Colorado. We are a private adoption agency that has been providing compassionate adoption care since 2002. Our agency helps women with every step of the process – from simple questions like how to put a child up for adoption to more involved aspects such as creating the adoption plan. Experiencing guilt when seeking adoption is normal and does not last forever.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.