Why Is There So Much Stigma Around Adoption?
By Conner Sura
Throughout history adoption has been a taboo topic in society. Although the topic became more widely accepted over centuries. Birth mothers started to see adoption as a viable option to give their child the best life possible. Adoption still hosts a negative stigma. Adoption became a political talking point-scaring away birth mothers and potential adoptee couples. Even though stigma around adoption shrinks, many more families start to explore different adoption agencies to start a family. The stigma around adoption still persists scaring birth mothers and potential families away.
Adoption Choices of Colorado knows how intimidating the adoption process can be. We are here to help you if you are considering to give your baby up for adoption. We are the number one adoption agency across Colorado. Here are some reasons why society might view adoption to be taboo.
A Mother Who Gives Up Her Child Doesn’t Love Them Or Is Too Lazy To Take Care Of Them
A common adoption stigma surrounding adoption is the birth mother being weak or too lazy to take care of the child. Giving up a child for adoption is not being weak or lazy. Giving up a child for adoption is an incredibly painful and difficult thing to do. While some people might think that a mother surrendering her child to adoption is lazy, and an easy way to escape her unplanned pregnancy. Giving up a child is one of the most painful things a birth mother can do. The decision is not made lightly.
Every mother wants the best for her child and sometimes for whatever reason a mother can’t provide the perfect life she wants for her child. She makes the difficult choice of giving up her child for adoption. She believes that adoption will give her child the best possible life they can have.
Birth Mothers Don’t Grieve For Their Child
Connecting to the previous myth. Adoption can be an emotionally taxing and traumatic experience for birth mothers. Many birth mothers grieve the loss of their children. Adoption isn’t easy. Birth mothers who do put their child up for adoption believe it is a necessity. Adoption is an incredibly painful process for them.
Adoption Choices of Colorado can help grieving birth mothers connect to support groups and therapists.
Adopted Children Have Problems
Watching a movie, reading a book, or even playing a game you might’ve heard this joke after a character does something ridiculous: “Well he’s adopted.” The joke perpetuates a common fallacy of adopted children growing up to have problems. Of course, some adopted children can present behavioral challenges, no studies show that adoptees have a higher rate of behavior problems.
Birth Mothers Won’t See Their Children Again After Adoption
Tying into the previous misconception. If a birth mother decides to pursue open adoption, she might be able to see her child. Open adoption allows birth mothers to take part in their child’s lives post-adoption. This includes adoption information, visits, calls, and open contact between the birth mother and the adoptee’s family.
Yet, older children and teens tend to benefit from open adoption. Open adoption helps older children maintain a level of self-identity, better adjusting the child to the new change.
Although open adoption can help a child better develop emotionally. Open adoption could lead to the risk of conflict between the two parent groups. However, open adoption does not mean shared parenting. The birth mother will still relinquish all her parental rights and responsibilities.
Another option, semi-open adoption allows for both groups to communicate with each other through adoption professionals. Semi-open adoption protects both groups’ identification information and allows for the child to connect with their birth family.
All Adoptees Usually Come From Teenagers, And The Uneducated
A stereotype often used to criticize birth mothers is that they all come from uneducated backgrounds, or are teenagers. One size does not fit all. Birth mothers come from all walks of life, and many do not give up their child for a single purpose. Things can happen that can cause a birth mother to give her child up. A birth mother could be raising other children and can not support another. Maybe she is in a situation with domestic abuse, or she is going through a mental health crisis. limiting the reason why a birth mother gives up her child to three vague categories is not fair. Of course, some birth mothers might be teenagers, and come from poorer backgrounds. This only applies to a small fraction of all birth mothers.
Your Real Choice for Colorado Adoption
Although there are still stigmas about adoption and the people can be harsh. Remind people that birth mothers are human and go through a lot of pain of putting their child up for adoption. If you are a birth mother who is wondering how to give up your baby for adoption or are someone interested in adoption. Adoption Choices of Colorado can help you understand your real choice for your adoption plans. Please, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE), text us: 720-371-1099, or email us; we are here to support you.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!