Why adoption still carries so much stigma?
By Anna Keller
Are you looking to customize an adoption plan because of an unplanned pregnancy? Are you unsure whether placing your baby for adoption is the right choice? Everyone’s circumstances are different. Only you can decide whether that choice is right for you and your baby. Although adoption has existed for a long time, there are, unfortunately, still some heavy stigmas attached to it. This negative outlook on adoption often prevents birth mothers from going through with it.
If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption Choices of Colorado.
What will CO Adoption look like?
Adoption Choices of Colorado is an agency that is dedicated to guiding pregnant women through their adoption process and figuring out which family to match their baby with. But beyond that, they offer counseling services during pregnancy, support during delivery, and care after your placement. Reasons for adoption vary from person to person, but ultimately, all reasons share something in common. The birth mother cannot provide for her child, so she finds someone who can in good faith. Private Adoption Colorado will help a birth mother with every obstacle she faces in her journey. However, despite all the support put in place to help women navigate the often challenging terrain of adoption in Colorado, stigma still is attached.
Stigmas About Birth Mothers
One common stigma is that mothers place their baby up for adoption because they do not love them. This could not be further from the truth. On the contrary, birth mothers love their unborn children so much that they sacrifice parenting for their children to have more fulfilling lives. Because birth mothers are unable to provide parental care themselves, they turn to an agency to help them find someone who can. Private Adoption Colorado will help them with that process.
Another mostly untrue stigma is that after the adoption process is complete, birth mothers will never see or hear from their children again. This only rings true for closed adoptions, which are not very common. A far more popular route is open or semi-open adoption, which includes contact at all stages of the pregnancy and even after birth. The level of contact varies from family to family, but ultimately, you will not be ‘cut off’ from your child. Private Adoption Colorado agency ensures that you will select the level of communication with your family that is right for you.
Another stigma about birth mothers is that they are all ‘emotionally unstable teenagers.’ Statistically, this is not true. Most women giving their children up for adoption are in their twenties, giving this choice plenty of thought.
Stigmas About Adoptive Children
One such stigma about adoption options is that an adopted child will never know they are adopted. It makes more sense for the family to tell the child at an early age they are adopted. This ensures that the child grows up, realizing it is normal. It also strengthens the connection between the parents and the child through honest communication. If a child is not told they are adopted until they are much older, this can negatively affect their relationship with their adoptive parents. That is why it is important for adoptive parents to be clear and honest with their child about where they come from.
Another one is that adopted children are more emotionally ‘troubled’ than children who are not adopted. This is an easy myth to fall back on because it is convenient to use the excuse that a child is troubled because of a lack of stability at home. This actually shifts into a much larger issue concerning the stigma. However, statistically speaking, adopted children demonstrate no diversity from normal levels of well-being and self-esteem as opposed to non-adopted children.
Stigmas About Adoptive Couples and Difficulty
Another harmful stigma is that only the ‘ideal’ couple can adopt a child. Simply put, this is false. There is no such thing as the ‘ideal’ couple. You don’t have to be a couple at all. If you are single and can provide for a child, you have just as much of an opportunity as anybody else to adopt. You don’t even have to be young.
Lastly, there is a stigma about adoption being too ‘difficult’ and not ‘worth it. While it is true that adoption is not an easy process. It doesn’t have to completely deplete you of all your emotional energy. Furthermore, it doesn’t have to be a solo ride. Adoption agencies in Colorado such as this one are ready to help pair you with an ideal family for your child.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!