What to Look for in an Adoptive Family
By Edward Harding
Choosing the right adoptive family can be difficult in the adoption process. The number of options to consider can be overwhelming. You might need clarification on what key aspects to consider when choosing the right adoptive family and home for your child. That is one of the many ways our adoption specialists can help!
At Adoption Choices of Colorado, we want you to feel confident in your final decisions. Having little to no regrets can help you better deal with the feeling of loss from giving up a baby for adoption. We have collected a list of some of the most important criteria for choosing an adoptive family. Hopefully, this can help you sort through our waiting families and narrow down the right adoptive family for your child.
If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption Choices of Colorado.
Consider the type of Adoption You Want
The first thing that you’ll want to look for in an adoptive family is just what kind of adoption you are both searching for. Think about what relationship, if any, you would like to have with your child or the adoptive family post-placement.
- Open Adoption – This is the most open level of adoption there is. Here you are able to receive regular updates from the adoptive family about how your baby is developing. You will even be able to schedule visits with your child. All of this will be discussed before adoption finalization.
- Semi-open adoption – This is considered a middle ground. Relationships remain somewhat structured, and interaction is mostly infrequent but possible. Most communication between the birth parents and the adoptive family is done via a third party. In most cases, this would be the adoption agency.
- Closed Adoption- With a closed adoption, strict rules apply. There is no communication or updates between you and the adoptive family. The only information that they would receive about you is your medical history.
Next, compare your needs with those of the waiting families and choose accordingly based on your common desires. Making your first criteria quite specific will instantly help to cut down options and save time.
Important Factors for Colorado Adoption
If you’re pregnant and considering choosing adoption in Colorado, these are some other important considerations.
- Location- Do you want the family to live within your state? Is Interstate an option? Also, reflect upon whether an urban, suburban, or rural home life would be appropriate.
- Family composition- Would you be opposed to families that have other children, either adopted or biological?
- Diversity and culture- Ask yourself if you would be open to choosing a family that may not share your race, ethnicity, or sexuality.
- Religion- If you are a strong practitioner of a religious ideology, it may be important that your child be raised within a particular denomination. Alternatively, you might not consider religion to be important. Maybe you would not wish your child to be a part of a religious household. Finally, you might find you have no preference either way and would be open to any active or inactive religious practice within adoptive families.
- Profession- Some adoptive families have careers that may drastically change home life. For example, being part of the military or certain business fields may require constant relocation. Additionally, if both parents have jobs, this may limit the amount of time spent with the child.
- Morals or Ideals- By far the most complex and difficult to define. Nonetheless, this is still worth pondering. Think about how you were raised. What kinds of things did you like and dislike about your own family’s parenting style? Perhaps there are important lessons you would like to pass on to your child. Look for common threads among your family profiles.
Match with the Adoptive Family That Feels Right
Adoption Choices of Colorado evaluates each family beforehand through the use of a home study and vouches for the suitability of every candidate. We believe in full transparency with all our clients. Adoption Colorado conducts extensive background checks and interviews to ensure the validity of the information. Don’t ever feel nervous about requesting additional information about any of your matching families. Remember, this is your adoption plan. Placing your baby for adoption does not mean you immediately give up all control.
Even after spending time deliberating over profiles, sometimes the best thing you can do is to meet face to face. Although home studies are quite thorough, there is a limit to what you can gain from a collection of files. Birth mothers who choose adoption in Colorado often reference a “gut feeling” developed after communicating with their future adoptive family. If you are interested in open adoption. We encourage you to meet directly with as many families as possible. It often provides the final stimulus needed for many birth mothers to hone in on a final choice.
Now that you understand more about the matching process, combat your unplanned pregnancy by constructing a list of personal criteria. It’s always a good idea to be prepared even before your initial meeting with a counselor. If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!