What is Closed Adoption?
The word “closed” can seem very harsh. While it is certainly associated with endings, endings do not always have to be bad. For instance, during the adoption process, one of the most important choices you will face as a birth mother revolves around visitation rights to potentially see your child, if you choose to do so. Despite the implication of there potentially being an ending of sorts on your horizon, Adoption Choices of Colorado is here to show you that all ends are beginnings and can even be positive occurrences.
What Should I Know about the Different Types of Adoption?
There are typically three types of adoption. You have the option of an open adoption, a semi-open adoption, and a closed adoption. Think of these choices as labels that describe the relationship you choose to have with your child and, by extension, your child’s adoptive family.
How Would a Closed Adoption Benefit Me?
A closed adoption, as you may have assumed, refers to a situation where you, as the birth mother, would not choose to leave a more immediate door open to see your child. That does sound pretty dismal and stressful, but it may be the right choice for you. It just may be that a separation is necessary in order to allow your child and yourself to grow into the people you are meant to be.
There may be a day in the future where your child wishes to reunite with you and has the authority to do so, but there is no guarantee. A closed adoption should likely come with the expectation that parting ways is permanent.
How can I Ease My Mind about Closed Adoption?
Before your mind starts racing and you think about all the negative associations that tie together words like “closed,” “ending,” and “permanent,” please take the time to consider the positive alternatives. It’s basically guaranteed that a birth mother entering the adoption process is only doing so out of love for her child. Any type of adoption will likely be rough on you, but you can know in your heart that you are doing the right thing, especially if you don’t feel ready to take care of your child or are physically not able to at this time.
Your health and wellbeing are also a big factor in all of this. If you cannot raise a child at this time, you might not be able to make constant house calls for a child at this time either — that is completely okay. Every adoption process decision is a balance between your needs and the needs of your child. If parting ways will set you on the right path, the path you deserve, then it is okay to select a closed adoption.
What Other Good Things can Come from Closed Adoption as a Whole?
Outside of just maybe being the right decision for you and your child, this adoption type can also potentially help an adoptive family. Not everyone can have a child and many people looking to expand and share their love might turn to adoption to raise someone as their own. While open and semi-open adoptions do allow for shared communication, it might be better for a new parent or parents to have a fresh start — the kind that comes with a closed adoption.
As you can likely imagine, while having both birth and adoptive parents around can be amazing, it is also a lot of work that some people might not be prepared to handle. So, in this way, a closed adoption can allow everyone time to figure things out on their own terms, which is a really beautiful thing. A byproduct of you choosing a closed adoption may just mean giving an adoptive family the chance they have always wanted to raise a human being on their own.
How Do I Take My First Step into the Adoption Process?
This choice also is not the end of everything — just one chapter in your life. All ends are beginnings, meaning that your new path will set you on many adventures. The adoption process is not the easiest thing in the world, but there are joyful things that can come out of it. Adoption Choices of Colorado is here to help you every step of the way with counseling, support, and care. We will make sure that whatever you decide going forward, it is made with the utmost love and consideration. You and your child deserve the brightest future.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Nathan Dyer is a university student majoring in Communication Arts with a radio/TV/film focus. He enjoys writing professionally and dealing with hands-on problems in real-world scenarios. Among his hobbies is hiking, which always encourages him to explore new places. He looks forward to crafting written materials in the future that serve to help people from all walks of life.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!