What About the Birth Father in Adoption?
By Kaitlyn Chrisemer
Often in discussions about adoption, there’s a strong focus on the birth mother. Of course, this makes sense, but it shouldn’t cause neglect of the birth father. The birth father must also be considered when placing a baby for adoption. He still needs to be informed whether the father wants to be involved in the adoption process.
Most of the time, when birth fathers want to be involved, they aren’t sure how to help. They worry about overstepping boundaries if they aren’t in a committed relationship with the adoptive mother. Sometimes birth fathers don’t know how much of a say in the adoption plan they’re entitled to. For example, do they get to decide if it should be a closed or open adoption? Is that too significant a decision for them to make if the birth mother doesn’t completely agree? Other times they want to support the birth mother but are unsure how.
Adoption Choices of Colorado wants to offer some input on what birth fathers can do during the adoption process. In addition, we want to give you the necessary information to make your adoption journey go smoothly.
If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption Choices of Colorado.
Is the Birth Father’s Consent Required for Adoption in Colorado?
Yes, in Colorado, the birth father needs to consent to the adoption for the process to occur. Just like the birth mother, he must relinquish his rights to the child for the child to be given up for adoption. However, there are certain steps birth parents must both go through before relinquishing their rights. First, they must receive counseling through their Colorado adoption agency or social services. Then, they must submit a petition to the juvenile court with information about the baby and the adoption.
However, there are exceptions where the birth father doesn’t have to consent and voluntarily relinquish his rights. For example, if he’s deemed unfit to be a parent and his parental rights have been terminated, his consent is unnecessary.
If the birth parents aren’t married, paternity has to be verified or established. In Colorado, paternity can be established a few different ways. One way is simply if his name is on the birth certificate. Another is if he acknowledges paternity himself to the court. Paternity can also be established if he supports the child financially. Lastly, if a DNA test indicates he’s the father with a 97 percent or higher probability, paternity is considered verified.
What Can Birth Fathers Do to Support Birth Mothers?
Birth fathers can act as a rock for birth mothers during adoption. An unplanned pregnancy alone can be hard enough before adding adoption to the mix. He can support the birth mother and be the strongest, most involved point of her support network. Offering input about which type of adoption (closed or open adoption) and other decisions can help.
Having input from the birth father can make the birth mother feel less alone in this journey. It can be easier if she feels she has someone by her side as she makes these decisions. Sometimes birth fathers can offer a new perspective and positively impact choices. However, it’s important to remember that there should be a conversation about how much his opinion will be considered. It’s important to ensure the birth mother feels emotionally supported and physically cared for. Help from the birth father can make the process smoother in multiple ways.
What if the Birth Father Doesn’t Want to Be Involved?
If the birth father doesn’t want to be involved, that’s okay too. It may emotionally make things more difficult for the birth mother, but Adoption Choices of Colorado can help. After his parental rights are relinquished, the birth father doesn’t have to be involved in decision-making.
Our adoption agencies can help you as the birth mother through this journey. We can connect you with an adoption counselor who will tell you what you need to know. Our agencies can also offer counseling for support throughout the process if you need help emotionally. In addition, there are support groups we can connect you with, or we can offer one-on-one sessions.
We want you to be as comfortable as you can be throughout this process. We’ll be here for you every step along the way and can help support you if the birth father doesn’t want to be involved. Our adoption agencies are here to make sure your needs are met. Whether the birth father is in the picture or not, we can help with your Denver adoption.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!