4 Ways to Handle the New Year After an Adoption in Colorado
By Bruce Kong
First, congratulations must be at hand. Because you’ve done something that not every birth mother could ever do: you adopted your child to another family. It wasn’t easy, but you did it and if it is not enough, thank you for such a selfless and courageous act. When you were Pregnant and Considering Adoption, it was probably the last thing on your mind, and a Colorado Adoption didn’t seem appealing at the time. However, don’t ever think that because you adopted your child to a different family does not mean you would have been an incompetent mother. Your child would have loved you, and you would have loved them.
Let’s address the elephant in the room. When you’ve finished the Adoption Process with Adoption Agencies in Colorado, or more specifically, a Denver Adoption Agency, the aftermath of the adoption is usually the hardest. With the New Year coming around the corner, it will be hard to reflect on the past year. All of this negative energy and emotion will swarm over you like a plague. But maybe that’s why it’s called the New Year. It is something for you to look forward to; a bright, elevated future that will show promises of joy and support. The past is the past, and while it may stick with you, it does not define who you are.
Here at Adoption Choices of Colorado, we are here to support you and provide you with resources that will benefit you. And there are several ways in which you can find support.
Turn to Family and Friends
The Colorado Adoption was a long and tedious process, and that is not an exaggeration. But once it is finished, your emotions may run amuck and affect your mental health. Family and friends are great sources to turn to when it comes to venting your thoughts. They will offer a listening ear, keep an open mind, and offer constructive advice when it’s appropriate. The new year is the perfect time to amend any broken relationships or construct stronger relationships with your friends and family. Your Unplanned Pregnancy may have caught them by surprise, but one thing is certain – it will not drive them away.
Seek Out an Adoption Counselor
There is no shame in seeking out an adoption counselor; you are doing yourself a favor by talking to one. But don’t think of them as counselors: think of them as life coaches too. They are there to support you in your physical and emotional needs and will be available to discuss any topics you want to talk about. Use this vulnerable time in the Adoption Plan to see an adoption counselor and vent your heart out.
Create a Plan to Spend Time with your Child and the Adoptive Family
This one might be stretching it a little, but it doesn’t hurt to try. One of the few things that birth mothers would appreciate is receiving updates about their children. And while it’s nice to see pictures of how they are growing and the success the child will have, it’s nice to spend quality time too. And this doesn’t need to be a big event either. It can be something small like a gathering or eating dinner together. If you’re feeling spontaneous, we recommend taking a trip together, but that one can wait.
Go Join Birth Mother Support Groups
Next to an adoption counselor or friends and families, birth mother support groups are one of the best choices you could ever make. These groups are for birth mothers who have struggled with the same emotions as you. They allow the participants to attend and share their struggles, talk about hardships they are dealing with, and the negative emotions they’re suffering with.
A Final Message to You for the New Year
You are a strong and resilient individual who deserves the spotlight. Placing your Baby for Adoption was an option that is never easy, but you managed to make it work and overcame the hardships of the process. Remember that Adoption Choices of Colorado is here for you 24/7, and we will not rest until we take care of you.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!