Ways to Communicate in a Semi-Open Adoption
Placing your baby up for adoption is a hard thing to do, especially if you want to stay in his or her life, but can’t be the parent. If you want to stay in your child’s life and still have some communication, choosing semi-open adoption may be the best type of adoption for you and your baby.
There are few ways to communicate in a semi-open adoption. You can negotiate these with the adoptive parents. This communication can be through pictures, videos, phone calls, or letters directly from the adoptive parents. You may also be able to visit the adoptive family, if this is something you both want.
With this limited communication, you can see a little bit of your child’s life and know how he or she is doing as they grow up. You can decide how much or how little contact you want to have. It is all up to you.
Seeing Your Child Grow Up through Pictures
Unfortunately, through semi-open adoption, contact might be limited to sharing photos. That said, sharing pictures is a great way to communicate in a semi-open adoption. Through this, you will receive pictures of your child and watch him or her as they grow and develop. This can be yearly or more depending on how contact everyone involved would like. If this is important to you, talk with the adoptive parents and see how much you want to receive pictures of your child.
A picture is worth a thousand words. See your child evolve from a cute little baby in a crib to a toddler running around in the yard outside. Even see them walk the stage and graduate through pictures! You may want to see your child grow up, even if you can’t be there to be the parent, so this is a great way of communication in a semi-open adoption.
Writing Letters to Your Child
Writing a letter to your child is a great way to keep in touch. You can write all that you want to tell your child, including anything you think is important for him or her to know.
The first letter can be all about yourself so he or she can get to know you. Through each letter, tell a story. Tell him or her a fun fact about yourself. Update him or her on what’s happened since the last letter.
Being able to write all the words you’re thinking and wanting your child to know may be your most favored way of communication in a semi-open adoption. You might wish to know how your baby is even after the adoption process. He or she may be able to write letters back to you if the adoptive parents are okay with that. Unfortunately, until your child learns to write, it could be one-way letter writing.
These don’t have to be physical handwritten letters either. If everyone involved feels more comfortable emailing — that’s a great option! You may be able to negotiate this with the adoptive family, but remember that semi-open adoption involves limited contact, so keep that in mind. Not everyone may be comfortable sharing more personal information than already shared through the adoption agency.
Connecting on Social Media with Your Child
Since we’re living in the digital age and there aren’t many people who send handwritten letters nowadays, most connect with their loved ones through social media. These can be social media platforms that may include Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.
You may be able to follow the adoptive parents on social media. You can see what pictures the adoptive parents are posting with/of your child or direct message them to catch up. The internet, as a whole, is a faster way to keep in touch. So, be sure to discuss with the adoptive parents if they prefer to remain in contact via social media or through handwritten letters.
Phone Calls and Video Calls
Semi-open adoption may not always allow physical contact with visiting your child and the adoptive parents. So, phone calls are the next best thing. Hearing your child’s voice is something very special to many birth mothers. Phone calls are a lot more personal than just a text message, because you are actually talking to your child ear to ear — or even face to face in a video call.
Video calls are a great way to communicate in a semi-open adoption as well. Through video calls, you can show your child who his or her birth mother is and you can show and tell with them. You can see their face and see if he or she got your eyes or nose.
Would You Like to Stay in Contact with Your Child and Their Adoptive Family?
No matter the reasoning behind placing your baby up for adoption, you may want to stay in contact with your child and the adoptive parents. Being able to stay in contact with them through pictures, videos, phone calls, and/or letters may be very important to you.
Let your adoption caseworker know how much communication you would like in your adoption plan. He or she can help find an adoptive family who has the same interests. After all, even though it may be more limited, there are multiple ways to communicate in a semi-open adoption. It’s important to keep that in mind when choosing which type of adoption is best for you.
At Adoption Choices of Colorado, we want to help you find the best type of adoption for you. If communication between everyone in the adoption process is important to you, we will help find the best placement for your baby.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Molly Allington is an aspiring author born and raised in Syracuse, New York. When she’s not watching her latest Netflix obsession, you can find her nose deep in a book or in her writing. She has been writing books since she was twelve and is in the process of trying to get her finished books published. Molly has a BA in Creative Writing from Southern New Hampshire University. With her writing, she is hoping to share supportive information and help as many people as possible. Once she starts her own family, she is wanting to adopt.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!