Unwrapping Holiday Joy and Grief

By Amber Godin

For some, the holidays are a celebratory time, sharing festivities with loved ones. For others, such as birth parents who chose adoption, it can be a time of grieving and sadness, especially if you are placing your child up for adoption during the holidays. For some birth parents, feelings such as loss and longing may hinder their holiday celebrations. Birth parents may feel guilty or that something is wrong with them in choosing child adoption during the holidays. The emotions that birth parents experience within and after the adoption process (including grief) often replace holiday joy. Instead of celebrating the holidays, it might be a time for mourning the loss of their child. 

All these emotions are natural responses to a life-changing decision and are perfectly valid, but your reasons for choosing adoption are valid, too! Birth parents need to know that there are healthy ways to cope with these difficult emotions. After all, accepting these feelings, such as grief and guilt, will help pave the way for healing. Oftentimes, birth parents just need guidance about the resources available to help them cope in healthy ways. 

At Adoption Choices of Colorado, we provide both support and resources on how to share your traditions with adoptive families.

Sharing Holiday Traditions with Open Adoption in Colorado

Birth mothers may feel that being able to see and communicate with their child helps in the grieving process. Open adoption offers the highest level of involvement in your child’s life. With this plan, there are a variety of ways for you to share your holiday traditions with your child and adoptive family. It can be beneficial for everyone involved in the adoption process. The adoption process allows you to connect with the family per level of openness. For the healing process, an open adoption allows updates on your child’s life. Including social and medical updates that birth mothers may feel improved peace of mind. With open adoption, your child will have access to information about their biological parents. Open adoption is negotiated between birth parents and adoptive parents. Times such as the holidays can celebrate your unique bond and the gift of your child to a loving family. 

It is during the adoption process where you can negotiate ways to continue your traditions during the holidays. When you work with our adoption agencies in Colorado, we help you share your traditions with the adoptive family. These can include sending holiday greetings, to gift giving, and celebrating with the adoptive family. 

Sharing Holiday Traditions with Colorado Adoption

Here are some great ideas for traditions you can share with your child and adoptive family:

Give your child a holiday keepsake. This can remind them of their heritage and since it is the holiday, it can be an ornament for their Christmas tree. Or it can be anything that has significance during the holidays, such as a letter written to them from you.

Ship a holiday gift to the adoptive family. Or plan a get-together to exchange gifts.

Send the adoptive family a greeting card. This is a very formal choice and is often the most standard way to express yourself through the holidays. Overall, it is an expression of gratitude for the gift of family and about giving yourself the gift of knowing your child is well cared for and loved. 

Adoption Services in Colorado Support Birth Mothers

We also advocate for birth mothers’ well-being and emotional health. Adoption is a personal choice, and we don’t judge you for your decision. Instead, we empower you. Adoption is a loving choice and ultimately selfless. Our adoption agencies in Colorado support birth mothers with counseling and emotional support at any time of the year.

For unplanned pregnancy, you can go to find the resources and services we provide at Adoption Choices of Colorado, including counseling and emotional support for birth mothers. They are private and confidential because birth mothers need an outlet to express all their emotions, including grieving. Getting counseling and emotional support is a healthy way to deal with grief as it opens up the way to healing; grieving is just part of the healing process, believe it or not!

Know you are in good company when choosing adoption. 

Emotional Support Resources and Guidance for Birth Parents

Our adoption agency cares about providing the support and resources needed for birth parents. This includes ways of dealing with grief and all the range of emotions in response to this personal decision. Including your ability to share traditions during the holidays with adoptive parents and their child.

It is important to expect and to accept the full range of emotions, such as grief, guilt, sadness, longing, etc. Whether you are just learning how to put your baby up for adoption or actively in the adoption process. It is learning and empowering yourself with the knowledge that adoption, even during holidays, is a positive, loving choice. And we offer many resources available to birth parents, all of which are available before, during, and even after the adoption process.

During the holidays and throughout the year, we advocate for birth parents’ well-being and emotional health. Connecting them with other grieving birth parents and helping them transform their grief into a celebration. During times like the holidays, it is important to be grateful for the gift of life and family. Remembering that you made the best decision for the benefit of everyone involved. 

When you work with our team at Adoption Choices of Colorado, we empower you to advocate for your child, and for yourself.

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