Unwrapping Holiday Joy and Grief for Birth Parents in Colorado
By Bruce Kong
December is the month of a memorable holiday: Christmas. It’s a time for people to share gifts, break bread, or enjoy each other’s company; you are someone special who will do something unforgettable for a family. You’re Pregnant and Considering Adoption. A Colorado Adoption was the first thing you looked up, and you’ve come to the right people. This Denver Adoption Agency will ensure you are taken care of and will not stop working for the care of your baby. It’s hard knowing that with the holiday just around the corner, you won’t be able to buy a gift or share a meal with your child. We understand the grief you are experiencing before and after your birth. Below is a list of grief and joys during and after a Colorado Adoption. But we’ll save the joy for last since it’s always better to end with good news.
If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption Choices of Colorado.
Potential Grief During the Holiday after an Adoption
- Grief is unavoidable and will be there when you’re least expecting it.
- You will yearn for the touch of your baby, and while it’s great that your baby will have a different family to join for the holiday, there will be a piece missing that you cannot fill.
- An overload of emotions will take over and break you down. Emotions can harm us in ways we’ve never experienced before.
- It’s hard to admit, but you will feel lonely. When you begin to watch other children open their presents and smile, it might be hard for you to share the same emotion.
- It’s not enough to know that you’re child is not there; if families don’t see well to your Adoption Plan, they might end the relationship with you.
Experiencing Joy During the Holiday and an Adoption
- One of the great things about the adoption process for you as the birth mother is that you can always turn back to the adoption specialist and express your feelings. They will always provide a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on.
- Birth mother support groups are common after an adoption finishes. Much like talking to an adoption specialist, the support groups allow all birth mothers to gather and talk about their struggles after adoption and the emotions they’ve experienced.
- Writing a letter to your child can be a great sense of relief. It’s a great way to cope with grief.
- Your child can become a part of your holiday tradition too! The nice thing about open adoption is that you can visit your child occasionally. What better way than spending time with them on Christmas?
- More importantly, and this one is easier said than done, take care of yourself. You’re human, and your body will need to be taken care of once the adoption is over. You must remember to breathe and take time for yourself.
A Final Note to Wrap Things Up Before the Holidays During an Adoption
Grief is a powerful thing. it lets us know when we’ve lost something close to us. When you’re unpacking grief during the holiday, it’s not bad to acknowledge it; however, allowing grief to overwhelm you will tear you down. It’ll make you doubt your decision. You should never feel abandoned during the holiday; there’s a reason why Christmas is such a special time of the year: it’s because of the joy that people experience. As a birth mother, you have every right to share in the same positive emotions as others during the holiday. You’ve done something unforgettable for another family. Adoption Choices of Colorado is open 24/7 and will be here to answer your questions. Taking the first step is nerve-wracking, but you might feel more confident about yourself when we walk you through the adoption process.
If you are interested in learning more about your gestational surrogacy options, contact Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!