Understanding Open Adoption as a Birth Mother
At this point, you have taken your first steps into the adoption process. Like anyone, you have a million questions. One question in particular that continues to linger on your mind is: “What if I want to see my child after they are adopted?” In truth, many adoptions in the modern day no longer completely separate the birth mother from the adoptee and the adoptive family. If you choose an open adoption, you will be able to see your child more often and watch them grow.
Here is how it all works:
How do I Understand What Separates an Open Adoption from Other Types of Adoption?
While every situation is unique in a variety of ways, most adoptions can be placed into three categories. There are closed adoptions, where the birth mother has no contact with the adoptive family. The middle ground would be semi-open adoptions, where the birth mother and the adoptive family can contact each other through an adoption agency, like Adoption Choices of Colorado. Finally, open adoptions are where the birth mother and adoptive family can contact each other directly.
Will Open Adoption be Healthier for Me?
Birth mothers are a variable group. Some choose closed adoptions because they really feel like they have to move on with their lives. Others choose semi-open adoptions because having an adoption agency as a mediator works really well for them. If you are really adamant about seeing your child more regularly, though, open adoption will probably be the best for you.
Choosing open adoption as a birth mother can mean more involvement with your child. Now, something important to understand is that more involvement with your child does not mean more direct control over their parenting. That is decisively left to the adoptive family. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t offer up information that will give your child a rich and fulfilling upbringing. You can contribute plenty, such as sharing your child’s background or ancestral history with them. Many parents choose to share their adoption process story with their child to help answer any questions.
It’s also important to remember that it’s up to you which adoptive family you pick. So, even if you are not directly parenting, you appointed the people who are. Choosing open adoption as a birth mother can really help you be more comfortable with the adoptive family you put your trust in.
What Other Benefits are There to Open Adoption that I can Facilitate?
While it is understandable that some birth mothers choose to move on with their lives or not have much communication with the adoptive family they choose, having an open adoption puts you in the unique position to de-stigmatize the adoption process as a whole. Adoption can often be seen as negative by society or something that should be covered up, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, the large majority of adoptions are success stories. By being more involved, having a relationship with your child, and having a relationship with their adoptive family, you can break down the stigma that surrounds adoption. It really is a pretty natural thing at the end of the day that just requires a bit of figuring out and cooperation between the different parties. You may even inspire others to choose to adopt or be comfortable with placing their own child for adoption if you can show the positive side of the process and teamwork that takes place.
Are There Resources Available to Me?
There are absolutely resources available to you! Adoption Choices of Colorado is an adoption agency with tons of information that you can use at your convenience. While every birth mother is slightly different with different goals, open adoption might be the best fit for you because it isn’t a hard break from your child. You are still there in their life, filling them in when they have questions or want to know more. It might be an odd new experience at first, working with an adoptive family, but it can be incredibly rewarding and provide you with some needed comfort and security in a time that might be tough.
No one ever said that it was easy to place your child for adoption, but there are ways to do it where your mental health is taken care of. Adoption Choices of Colorado also provides counseling if you are still having trouble deciding which type of adoption suits you best. Basically, we are here for you throughout the adoption process and want to help you realize your vision for your child’s care.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Nathan Dyer is a university student majoring in Communication Arts with a radio/TV/film focus. He enjoys writing professionally and dealing with hands-on problems in real-world scenarios. Among his hobbies is hiking, which always encourages him to explore new places. He looks forward to crafting written materials in the future that serve to help people from all walks of life.