Types of Adoptive Families You can Choose for Your Child
When you go through the adoption process and select a potential adoptive family for your child, it can be a big choice. After all, families can come from a variety of different backgrounds that stand apart from your own. You may encounter younger, older, LGBTQ+, single, partnered, or transracial adoptive parents. While that is not an all-inclusive list, it may help you start to think about the world you will find out there on your adoption journey with Adoption Choices of Colorado.
Let’s take a look at some of those aforementioned identities and groups, remembering that who someone is isn’t nearly as important as how they will love and take care of your child. Difference is okay, so don’t let it scare you off. Focus more on finding an adoptive family who shares your best values.
Younger & Older Adoptive Families
As with all the groups we will be looking at, you might have to get past some stereotypes. That’s not to say that you stereotype on a consistent basis, or that stereotyping is your fault, but just that we often are exposed to stereotypes in society. If your child has a younger adoptive family, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they will be inexperienced or out of control. On the flip side, an older adoptive family isn’t synonymous with weakness or being out of touch with current realities. Despite the world often assuming that people are defined by their ages, you can absolutely find people of different ages that share your values. Do what feels right for you!
LGBTQ+ Adoptive Parents
If you’ve seen Modern Family, you probably do not need an explanation about how LGBTQ+ parents can be great everyday caretakers and guardians. There is, unfortunately, a lot of stigma around the same sex community in general, but having an LGBTQ+ identity does not make anyone a bad parent. If anything, for the large majority of adoptive families, it can make them more accepting. Having your child grow up in a home that is accepting of a variety of identities could be hugely beneficial for their mental health.
Single, Partnered, and Married Adoptive Parents
While there are certainly single parents out there in the world who struggle, keep in mind that there are married parents who also struggle. Being single, married or in a domestic relationship does not necessarily mean that you are better off. In that same strain of thought, having a single parent or married parents can also both be great outcomes for your child. Again, the recurring theme is that they get the love that they need.
Transracial Adoptive Families
People with different racial and cultural backgrounds can certainly have different experiences, but nothing about those qualities inherently makes them bad parents. If an adoptive family adores your child and happens to be Jewish, but you’re not Jewish, is that really going to be what impedes your adoption process? If an adoptive family is white and you are black, is that really more important than that white family being the best fit for your child’s needs?
What am I Supposed to do with This Information about Adoptive Families?
At this moment, you might be thinking that none of your questions have really been answered. You may have wanted to know what to expect specifically from different types of adoptive families. However, the point is that who they are matters much less than how they will treat your child. There is no guidebook that describes a standard LGBTQ+ adoptive family and how they may act, because there is no standard LGBTQ+ adoptive family. Many of these categories (which, again, are not all inclusive) are also not completely isolated — you could encounter young, LGBTQ+, transracial adoptive families, for example. An adoptive family is often more than a label, just as you are.
What are the “True” Types of Adoptive Families Then?
As a birth mother, it really comes down to who works for you and who doesn’t. As mentioned in the beginning, shared values are the strongest base for your decisions regarding an adoptive family. Those values may lead you down a road where your child’s adoptive family ends up being a transracial family or perhaps older family, but base your selection on heart, not features.
As always, Adoption Choices of Colorado is an excellent resource if you feel like you are struggling or just need a bit of extra help. In the end, probably the wisest thing you can do is treat the selection of a potential adoptive family less like the United States census and more like a search for kindred souls. Seeing eye to eye is more important than matching labels and identities.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Nathan Dyer is a university student majoring in Communication Arts with a radio/TV/film focus. He enjoys writing professionally and dealing with hands-on problems in real-world scenarios. Among his hobbies is hiking, which always encourages him to explore new places. He looks forward to crafting written materials in the future that serve to help people from all walks of life.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!