Top 7 Myths About LGBT Adoption Birth Mothers Should Know 

Fortunately, throughout the past decade, our society has become more accepting of LGBT individuals and couples becoming parents. In fact, members of the LGBT community are now allowed to adopt and raise the family they’ve always wanted. Adoption Choices of Colorado is committed to supporting these adoptive families. Unfortunately, there is still a lot of misinformation that continues to circulate around LGBT adoption, adding obstacles and roadblocks that prospective adoptive couples and individuals must overcome. 

If you are a birth mother, you’ve no doubt run into some of these. We believe that spreading positive information and reinforcing the truth about LGBT adoption will begin to dismantle the misconceptions and help empower you as you move forward in your adoption journey. Here are 7 myths about LGBT adoption that you should be aware of, and the truth behind them.

Myth #1 – Children need a Mother and a Father

Truth: Not necessarily. For many decades, the general understanding of family included a mother and father. This was said to be the best type of family as it benefited the child. While there may be some truth to this, our culture and society has greatly evolved and expanded to many other types of family. In fact, teachers, coaches and friends can also be categorized within your child’s wider circle of family.

As a birth mother considering who would be best to raise your child, it’s important to know that there are many different kinds of adoptive families, and they are all capable of loving your child and off giving him or her their best chance at life. It’s been repeatedly shown that a child does not need the specific combination of a mother and father to grow up in a happy, healthy home.

Myth #2 – Same Sex Couples, There is a Clear Male and  Female Role

Truth: Incorrect. Because of how our society has had strict expectations regarding gender roles and the nuclear family until quite recently, there is the unfortunate assumption that LGBT couples must mirror a “traditional family.” That there must be, or always are, clear and inherent gender roles. But this is not the case. 

It’s important not to assume that because one partner is more stereotypically “masculine” or “feminine” presenting that they are taking on the role of “male” or “female.” The individuals in gay or lesbian unions don’t need to recreate traditional male-female partnerships in order to be amazing parents. 

Myth #3 – LGBT Parents can’t Provide Stable Homes

Truth: Not true. LGBT adoptive parents can provide a wonderful home for your child. There are many lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans adoptive parents who will raise your child with abundant love and care. Countless successful adults have been raised by LGBT parents and had amazing support throughout their lives. 

Because LGBT adoptive couples and individuals aren’t able to conceive children biologically, they carefully plan and prepare for the day they can have a family. Consequently, your child’s adoptive parents, when they choose adoption, have thought long and hard about their decision and are fully committed to providing a stable home for him or her. 

Myth #4 – Children with Same-Sex Parents will get Bullied

Truth: Unfortunately, this is a possibility. The potential of your child getting bullied may be concerning as a birth mother — and to any parent — but  your child may have to deal with negative comments because their adoptive parents are LGBT. However, this is something that same-sex adoptive parents are familiar with and prepared for. 

Oftentimes, LGBT couples and individuals choose to live in neighborhoods and school districts that are welcoming and accepting of their identities, and have already planned how to discuss topics related to marginalized identities and discrimination with your child.  As a result, your child will grow into a more loving, respectful, open-minded, and resilient individual.

Myth #5 – Children Raised by LGBT Adoptive Parents are More Likely to Become LGBT Themselves

Truth: Nope. This is like saying that children raised by heterosexual adoptive parents will be straight. As we know, this isn’t always the case. Children will grow up to identify in whatever way is true to their innate orientation and identity, regardless of their parents’ own identities. If your child does grow up to identify as part of the LGBT community, he or she will be lucky to have adoptive parents who understand and support them fully.

Myth #6 Same-Sex Parents may lead to Developmental or Behavioral Issues

Truth: Wrong again. Same-sex adoptive parents are wonderful people who are more than capable of providing tremendous love and care for your child. LGBT adults are just as able as any other adoptive family to provide the kind of discipline, structure, compassion and support that child-rearing requires. 

If you choose LGBT adoptive parents to raise your child, you can be assured that your child will not suffer any developmental or behavioral issues as a consequence. This is simply one of the particularly prejudiced myths about LGBT adoption that is sadly still in circulation.

Myth #7 – Parenting Choices are Influenced by Sexual Orientation

Truth: Never. Sexual orientation has no impact on whether or not a couple or individual has the ability to raise your child. This myth greatly demeans LGBT adoptive parents, who can vary just as much as any other type of adoptive parents. 

When you are considering LGBT adoptive parents, sexual orientation doesn’t need to matter. Rather, the aspects that do could include, but are not limited to, how much they love your child and what kind of life they will provide for him or her.

Myths About LGBT Adoption Birth Mothers Should Know

Understandably given the ongoing and deeply historical marginalization of LGBT couples and individuals, there’s still a lot of prejudice and false beliefs circulating around hopeful same-sex adoptive parents hoping to grow their family through adoption. This can, unfortunately, make it harder for prospective adoptive parents to have their family. 

Adoption Choices of Colorado is committed to properly educating you about the realities of LGBT adoptive parents and supporting you in finding the best fit for your child, regardless of how they identify.

If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.

Meet the AuthorKara Bringewatt is an English major and psychology minor at Queens University of CharlotteShe plans to get her masters in social work and work at a nonprofit as a case manager for at-risk youth. She loves using writing as a means of creating community and bringing attention to causes she’s passionate about. 

Kara is particularly interested in educational and mental health interventions for young people in foster care. She’s worked as a tutor, professional caregiver, preschool teacher and acting instructor, and loves being able to utilize her wide range of passions to support young people and plans on being a foster and adoptive parent. 

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