The Top 6 Most Common Questions Birth Mothers have about Adoption
When facing an unplanned pregnancy, it can be difficult to know what to do next. Oftentimes, adoption is a lesser known option, so you may have questions about the adoption process. Adoption is a wonderful choice that allows for flexibility based on your preferences and needs. Our agency and staff are here to support you in your journey. We provide free counseling services for you and any family or friends supporting you in this journey.
As you sort through the best choices for you, Adoption Choices of Colorado have put together the answers to 6 of the most common questions birth mothers have about adoption to get you started.
What are the kinds of adoption plans available to me?
There are three main kinds of adoption — closed, semi-open and open. Each option has their own pros and cons, so it’s important to reach each one to see what best fits your needs and desires for your adoption journey
- Closed Adoption Plans
- Gives you complete privacy and anonymity.
- Your child and their adoptive parents will not have any contact or information on you.
- Allow you to keep your complete confidentiality.
- Receive updates on your child through our protected portal.
- Remain out of direct communication with your child’s adoptive family, but still have the reassurance of regularly scheduled check-ins.
- Allow you to maintain a relationship with your child and their adoptive family.
- This may look like phone calls and letters or even in-person visits. .
- The frequency and specifics of your ongoing interactions with the adoptive family and your child will depend on your preferences that your caseworker will work with you to outline in your formal adoption plan.
Am I able to choose an adoptive family for my child?
Yes, as a birth mother, you can choose your child’s adoptive family. Your caseworker will work with you to figure out which traits are most important to you and narrow down prospective adoptive parents. They will then provide some profile photo books of potential matches that will give you glimpses into the adoptive parents’ lives.
Who will adopt your child is entirely your choice and only for you to control. Our staff is just here to assist you in the process.
Do I have to relinquish my baby immediately after giving birth?
This choice is up to you. Your caseworker will help you establish a hospital plan ahead of time. If you would like to spend a few hours with your baby, you are more than welcome to. This special time allows for you to share and cherish these moments together before relinquishing your baby to their adoptive parents. You are also allowed to shift this plan if your desires change in the hospital. We encourage birth mothers to have a plan in place, as the hospital experience can be very emotional, but to know that there is flexibility during the birth and delivery process.
Am I allowed to use Adoption Choices services if I’m unsure about adoption?
Choosing an adoption plan with Adoption Choices means free counseling to anyone facing an unplanned pregnancy. This space will allow you to process your emotions and thoughts in a safe, confidential and non judgmental space. We provide the information and resources for you to make whichever choices are best for you.
We will not push you towards any particular choice. It is our desire to be there for you without judgment and assist you in pursuing whatever is best for you.
How will being adopted impact my child?
This is one of the common questions birth mothers have about adoption. It is natural to worry about the impact adoption will have on your child. This is usually due to adult adoptees from earlier generations who were never told about being adopted, or perhaps were in transracial adoptive families and not fully supported.
However, adoptions are gaining more and more popularity and the resources are now available for adoptive parents to be much more intentional about discussing adoption with their children. Most adoptees are very happy and grateful for their upbringing. Open adoption allows you to stay in your child’s life and choosing your adoptive parents with your own concerns and values in mind will help to ease this fear.
How much will the adoption process cost?
Adoption Choices of Colorado provides all our counseling and legal representation services free of charge to birth mothers. Placing your baby for adoption also comes at no cost to you. If you are in need of financial assistance, your adoption caseworker will assess your situation and see what you are eligible for. Our agency can provide court-approved living expenses to you including: rent, utilities, bills and food costs.
We understand that this may be a difficult time to navigate financially, and we want to support you in this.
Common Questions Birth Mothers have about Adoption
As you navigate your unplanned pregnancy, it is important to remember that our agency is here to support YOU. These answers are just the beginning, and our free counseling services are available to help you to sort through your questions and concerns around adoption. It can be deeply reassuring to know that adoption is a valid choice as a birth mother with many individual paths within it. This can be an overwhelming time, and getting the support and accurate information you need is crucial to making the best choice for you and your baby.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Kara Bringewatt is an English major and psychology minor at Queens University of Charlotte. She plans to get her masters in social work and work at a nonprofit as a case manager for at-risk youth. She loves using writing as a means of creating community and bringing attention to causes she’s passionate about.
Kara is particularly interested in educational and mental health interventions for young people in foster care. She’s worked as a tutor, professional caregiver, preschool teacher and acting instructor, and loves being able to utilize her wide range of passions to support young people and plans on being a foster and adoptive parent.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!