When thinking of adoption, most people automatically construct an image of a happily married couple looking to start or expand their family. But what about single men and women, equally ready to take that next step and bring a child into their home?
With so many children living in single parent families, adoption agencies have been more willing to consider unmarried men and women as prospective adopters. Now, many children are living with single adults, who have been given an opportunity to grow their family and give love to children who need it most.
No longer uncommon, single parent adoptions pose several benefits.
SINGLE PARENT FREEDOM
While it may seem intimidating to parent alone, carrying the weight of all decision-making is a major upside. It allows for the best possible outcome, without the need to compromise for a partner’s differing beliefs, needs, or demands.
Single parents don’t carry the burden of their partners potentially undermining their authority or confusing the child with conflicting demands. It eradicates the potential for disagreement by allowing the single parent to always act in the child’s best interest, according to their ideology. This lack of conflict allows the child to feel more environmentally secure.
Single parents are responsible for all decisions, from the schools their children attend to the freedoms and restrictions their children have.
INDEPENDENCE AND RESPONSIBILITY AT A YOUNG AGE
It’s hard to juggle all life has to offer as a single parent. At times, it won’t be feasible to manage everything alone.
That said, children raised by single parents often see themselves as a member of the team, a piece of the puzzle that makes it whole. Children may see their parent struggle and want to help. In doing so, this cooperation helps to understand the value of contribution and incites less selfish thinking.
Along with responsibility comes independence. Children learn through observation. Single parents work overtime to juggle all responsibilities, and their children notice. This encourages children to mature alongside their parents, so as to lessen the load on their parent. Single parent children learn independence at a young age, relying on their parents less and depending on themselves more.
MANAGING FINANCES JUST GOT EASIER
While money doesn’t make or break a person, it is a major factor in most people’s day-to-day lives. Single parents, especially, have to stay on top of tracking their income and expenditure. While childcare is a beautiful part of life, it’s also expensive.
According to a 2017 report from the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the average cost of raising a child from birth through age 17 is $233,610. This includes everything from housing, food, and transportation to healthcare, education, and childcare to clothing, personal care items, and entertainment.
Yes, single parents have less income, but they’re also the sole deciders on how and when to spend money. They don’t have to divide expenses with a partner, and they always know where and when money is being spent. Single parents define “needs” versus “wants,” and pass that on to their child, teaching them the concept of money management.
UNDIVIDED ATTENTION
One-on-one time is hard to come by in today’s busy-bee lifestyle. Single parents have an advantage in this area: they’re able to devote more quality time to their child, creating a unique bond. Single parents don’t have to divide their time between a partner and child, allowing them to focus solely on their child’s comfort and happiness.
The quality of a parent-child relationship has tremendous impact on a child’s well-being. A reliable bond creates an environment where the child feels safe, secure, and loved. This connection opens the door to transparency, meaning the child will often be more forthcoming.
By being able to bond more with their children, single parents have more knowledge of their kids’ thoughts and inner workings, being better able to guide them down the right path.
SENSE OF COMMUNITY
In accordance with the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child,” single parents may need to rely on others to help in caring for their children. Even two-parent families have difficulties balancing parenthood, work, hobbies, and relationships.
In most cases, children of single parents have several supporters, both online and in-person. Often, these organizations encourage single parents to mingle and make new friends. This community outreach teaches children that they can find support outside of their immediate family, just as their parents did, giving them a sense of stability and belonging.
If a child sees his or her hardworking, independent parent reach out for help, the child will know it’s okay to do the same if ever the time arises. A sense of community shelters children, letting them know they’re never fully alone.
SINGLE PARENTS ARE LOVING PARENTS
There is no doubt that single parents experience hardships. As with anything in life, raising a child doesn’t come easy. But single parent adoptions offer a myriad of opportunities for happiness.
Single parents deserve the opportunity to start loving families, and Adoption Choices of Colorado will support you every step of the way! We will never turn away a prospective adoptive parent based on marital status. Let us help you bring a child into your loving home.
Adoption Choices of Colorado
For more information on adoption please contact Adoption Choices of Colorado. We can reached via our website or phone 303-670-4401.
Support Adoption Choices
Adoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.
However, we can’t do it alone. Please read up on our programs and donate money where you are able. Your donation will make a huge impact.
About the Author
Patience Bramlett, a University of Southern Mississippi news editorial graduate, is a seasoned and award-winning freelance writer. She is also a passionate reader, whose only wish is to live life without fear of the unknown. Her motivation and inspiration to live her best life stems from the words of John Lennon:
“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”
This year, she’s joining Adoption Choices Inc. as an Editorial Intern. Fueled by her love of family, she hopes to educate those looking to grow their families through adoption.
When Patience is not exploring Colorado with her husband, she’s drinking coffee, forever figuring out how to tame her hair, growing her library, and trying to break into the publishing career.
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Bibliography
“Advantages of Single Parenting When It Comes to Adoption.” International Adoption Facts and Information, 2012, www.international-adoption-facts-and-information.com/advantages-of-single-parenting.html.
Child Welfare Information Gateway. “Factsheets for Families.” Child Welfare, 2013, www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/single-parent/.
“Single Parent Adoption.” Adoption Agency, Adoptions from the Heart, 20 June 2017, afth.org/single-parent-adoption/.
Smith, Liz, and Liz Smith. “The Cost of Raising a Child in 2018.” SmartAsset, SmartAsset, 7 Aug. 2018, smartasset.com/retirement/the-average-cost-of-raising-a-child.
Staff, ModernMom. “Advantages & Disadvantages for Children in a Single-Parent Family.” ModernMom, 17 Mar. 2017, www.modernmom.com/advantages-disadvantages-for-children-in-a-single-parent-family-123822.html.
Raja, Debolina. “5 Advantages & 5 Disadvantages Of Single Parenting.” MomJunction, Incnut Incnut, 15 Mar. 2019, www.momjunction.com/articles/advantages-and-disadvantages-of-single-parenting_00372990/#gref.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!