The Role of the Birth Father during an Open Adoption
Birth fathers are somewhat of an enigma in the adoption process. More times than not, the focus centers around the birth mother, adoptive parents and the adoptee. This is the more common image of adoption as we know it. However, there are times where the birth father is present and wants to be involved as well. How much he is involved, of course, is entirely up to you and what kind of relationship you share with him. For example, if you are on good terms or have a healthy connection with him, having him alongside you throughout the adoption journey can be very beneficial.
Adoption Choices of Colorado understands that placing your child for adoption is not a decision to be taken lightly. That it can be a very stressful and emotional one. It’s natural and perfectly ok to feel overwhelmed. We want you to know that you are not alone. If you feel comfortable with your child’s birth father being involved, we want to share what the role of a birth father looks like with an open adoption.
Supporting You & Your Decision
Experiencing an unplanned pregnancy can be very scary. It can feel like your world is crumbling around you, and that everything you’ve worked for and planned is falling apart. In moments like this, it’s very comforting to have a trusted friend, family member — or your partner or spouse — nearby. To be moral support and a sounding board as you work out what to do.
The role of a birth father, particularly with an open adoption, would be just that. He would be there with you every step of the way. From start to finish, providing support and encouragement in any way he can. This could be helping you fill out paperwork, or reassuring that your choice to place your baby for adoption is the best option. He can help you research our agency and how to contact us. The first steps in beginning your adoption journey. All this in more can ease your anxiety and stress levels during this time.
Helping Make Tough Decisions
Once you begin the adoption journey, you may feel overwhelmed filling out the application, gathering all the needed medical and health records or deciding who would be the best prospective adoptive parents to raise your child. When your child’s birth father is alongside you, he can help you with this. He can make the call to your doctor’s office and get you the correct forms.
Two of the tough decisions you’ll face may include, but are not limited to, naming your baby and choosing your child’s adoptive parents. Neither of these are easy and shouldn’t be rushed. With the birth father present, you can talk to him about that. Ask what he thinks. Choosing to name your baby is an option, and completely up to you. With an open adoption, you can even decide if you want to name your future child with the adoptive parents. When it comes to deciding who is best to raise your child, the birth father can look through the prospective adoptive parent profile books, read through the bios and ask you how you feel about each one. If there are any who stand out.
Your child’s birth father may become very emotional during your adoption journey just like you. An important thing for him to do is to process how he feels so he can be there when you need him the most. To do this, our agency offers counseling services that come at no cost to him or you. This offers each of you a safe space and confidential space to talk about what you think and feel, and get professional guidance from our very compassionate, empathetic and non-judgmental staff.
Along the same vein, he could encourage you to seek counseling as well if there is something he isn’t sure how to support you in. The emotions involved with the adoption journey can run very deep and be complex. If you are experiencing similar emotions, it’s important that he encourage both of you to talk to someone who can help.
The Role of the Birth Father
Having your child’s birth father involved with your adoption journey is a very personal decision. If you both share a healthy and positive relationship, we encourage you to consider the benefits of him being there to support you. This could really help reassure you that you are making the right decision, and that adoption truly is the best chance for all of you.
Whether it’s helping you create your adoption, listening as you talk out your feelings or deciding how much time you want to spend with your baby after he or she is born, having the extra support of your child’s birth father can make your adoption journey less stressful and overwhelming. Whatever you choose, though, you won’t be alone and it’s entirely up to you.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Call us: 720-371-1099, Call or Text us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Katherine Burns is a journalism student at Loyola University Maryland with plans to pursue a career in the news and magazine industries. With over three years of experience writing for the Greyhound Newspaper at Loyola, Katherine specializes in Op-eds. However, she has recently branched out to cover a variety of topics, including education and sports journalism. She also has ample experience with travel blogging.
Katherine has conducted a variety of interviews in her time at Loyola and has displayed her stories through differing forms of media. In addition to her studies at Loyola, Katherine spent the fall of 2019 studying communications at the American University of Paris. To learn more about Katherine, be sure to check her out on social media.