The Many Adoption Fears Birth Mothers May Have
As a birth mom, it is normal to have many fears for your baby. All moms do! At Adoption Choices of Colorado, we understand some of these fears. This article looks into some of the fears you might have as a birth mom. Although this list can not compile all of the fears you may have, it does discuss many of the common ones. Regardless of what type of adoption you may choose to go through for your baby, it is important to remember that you are trying your best and doing what is best for your baby!
- I Am a Bad Mom for Giving My Child Up for Adoption
No, you are not! This feeling may arise, but it is important to let go of this fear. Many times situations are not in our hands. So it goes in life. You may be giving your baby up for adoption for a number of reasons. Maybe you can’t raise them currently. Therefore you’d like for another family to take care of your baby. You are making the decision that is best for your baby here. If you feel that you will not be able to give your baby everything they need for a happy life and choose adoption as an option, this doesn’t make you a bad mom. It makes you a thoughtful mother wanting what is best for her child. Maybe you are too young to properly raise a baby.
Teen pregnancy is more common than you may know, and many times the baby’s father may not be in the picture. You are a mother that desires a functional family and a bright future for your baby. If this is the case and you have decided to put your baby up for adoption, this makes you a caring mom simply wanting a better lifestyle for her baby. Regardless of the reason behind why you are giving your baby up for adoption, this is not an easy decision. It takes a lot of courage to come to this decision. You are far from a bad mom. You are a thoughtful, caring, and brave mom!
- My Baby Will Hate Me
This is false in many situations. Adoption Choices of Colorado specializes in open or semi-open adoption. Open adoption means that you and the adoptive parents, as well as your baby, will be in contact. Of course, the amount of contact will depend. However, whichever type of adoption you choose, you will be able to play an active role in your child’s life. Whether from afar or up close, your baby may have questions but will eventually be able to understand why you made the decision to go through the Colorado adoption process. They will hopefully be able to appreciate why you made such a decision.
- The Adoptive Parents Won’t Love My Baby as Their Own
This, like all of your other fears, is a valid one. These questions are normal to arise on this difficult journey. It is important to remember that many of the adoptive families waiting to adopt have been doing so for a while. Often, they have gone through many other procedures before coming to the decision to adopt, such as IVF. Some may have gone through the painful experience of miscarriages. Even after they decide to adopt, they wait even more to finally welcome a baby into their family. The adoptive families that are eagerly waiting to warmly welcome a baby into their lives will surely take care of your baby as their own. They will protect and raise them like any other family.
- I Am Selfish For Choosing Adoption
Choosing the process of adoption is far from selfish. Selfishness could be if you decide to keep your baby even though you are aware that you will not be able to raise your baby properly. Birth mothers that come to the difficult decision of giving their baby up for adoption often have to put aside all of their hopes and desires and think only about their baby. You are not selfish for thinking about what is the best option for your baby. Adoption decisions are usually born out of complete selflessness. Don’t let this fear get the best of you.
- The Adoptive Family Will Not Follow Through on Their Promises
Again, this is a valid fear because nothing can be guaranteed. However, communication is key in this case. An open adoption is a common option that allows for this type of open communication. With an open adoption process, everything can be discussed between the birth parents and the adoptive parents from as early as can be in the adoption process and even later on after placement. Everything is discussed. But you don’t have to worry that this is all on you. Adoption Choices of Colorado will be with you every step of the way.
We Are Here To Help You With Your Adoption Fears
These may be some of the fears that might be going through your mind. It is important to know that these fears are valid. Many birth mothers, even those who do not choose the route of adoption, experience fearing and worrying for their children. Luckily, you are not alone on this journey. You will be able to make an informed decision regarding the adoption of your baby with us. Adoption Choices of Colorado understands the many fears and emotions you may be experiencing, and we are here for you.
Meet the author: Ifrah Mohammed. Pursuing a Communications-Journalism Bachelor’s degree at Siena College, she is an aspiring content writer. A hard-working daughter of immigrant parents, she was born and raised in Queens, NY, and has resided in Fort Worth, TX. Her passions include writing and traveling. Moving around has allowed her to gain valuable perspective. When she is not writing or traveling, she is baking or reading. She currently resides in
Schenectady, NY, a town 30 minutes away from Albany.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!