The Birth Father’s Role in The Adoption Process
By Mohammed Ahmad
As a birth mother, your priorities and needs are the primary focus. Through the adoption process you may be wondering, what about the birth father? What concerns will he have in the future of our child? Although local adoption agencies tend to focus more on you, birth fathers are just as important. Birth fathers get to have a say in the adoption process as well. It is critical that their concerns are also heard. If the birth father wants a say in the adoption process, his wants must also be accommodated.
There are many scenarios where the birth father may feel they are overstepping boundaries. Some birth fathers may not have great relationships with birth mothers. They may feel like that it isn’t their place or that their concerns aren’t taken seriously. This is quite the contrary, as their concerns and questions must be met.
Oftentimes the birth father may not acquire enough adoption info. He may be confused on what type of adoption to choose for your child. Open or private adoptions are something they may need to learn more about. They may want to help in any way they can but are not sure how to go about it. There are many scenarios where this might be the case. Through it all. birth fathers have the ability to have a say in the adoption process.
We want to ensure that both parties are as comfortable as possible through the adoption process. We want you, as the birth mother, to have the smoothest experience possible. Adoption Choices of Colorado is here to help inform you about what input the birth father can have. Most of all, we want a healthy and swift adoption process for you and your baby.
Birth Father’s Involvement in The Adoption Process
Colorado law states that birth fathers must give consent to allow the adoption process to proceed. This means that both parties must be onboard when reaching out to our adoption agencies in Colorado. As you both are the parents and legal guardians of the baby. In the same way, you give up your rights for your child–the birth father must do the same. There is a step by step process that both you and the birth father must partake in. This includes counseling and submitting a petition to the juvenile court. The counseling will help you and the birth father voice your reasons as to why you want to relinquish your rights. After the completion of counseling both you and the birth father will receive a petition. This petition includes information and proof that both you and the birth father have attended counseling.
After approval from the court, the adoption process may proceed. If the birth father is unfit to be a parent in the first place, he may voluntarily relinquish his rights. Many scenarios include his parental rights being terminated already due to his own actions. This means his consent may not be necessary. This can also relate to situations of domestic violence or abuse against you. If you have an abusive relationship with the birth father, his consent isn’t needed whatsoever. You and your baby’s protection are the agency’s top priority.
Colorado adoption states that if you and the birth father aren’t legally married then paternity needs to be verified. The birth father must showcase proof that he is the father of the baby. This can be done through proof of birth certificate or even a DNA test.
What Birth Fathers Can and Can’t Do in the Adoption Process
A birth father’s support for you may be highly beneficial. The adoption process can be difficult and you may feel lonely or scared. Having the birth father by your side in helping you dictate decisions can be helpful. The biggest thing a birth father can do is be your emotional support. You and the birth father can have conversations to help make the best decision for your baby. These conversations can help you both decide whether an open adoption or private adoption is best. It can also help decide whether you want contact with your child in the future. Having both you and the birth father on the same page can make the adoption process go swiftly. The birth father may offer different perspectives and opinions. He can help influence your decision in the best way.
If the birth father decides he doesn’t want to be involved then he doesn’t need to be. We know this may take a huge emotional toll on you. Adoption Choices of Colorado wants you to know that we are here to help you. You are not alone and although it may feel difficult, your needs are prioritized. If he truly doesn’t want involvement, then the birth father does not have a say whatsoever. He cannot voice concern or sway your decision in going through the adoption process. This can be seen through scenarios of teen pregnancy, where the birth father does not want to partake.
Choosing Adoption with Adoption Choices of Colorado
We want to let you know that there are resources that are given to you through this time. We know that giving your baby up for adoption may be challenging and emotional. You are given counseling and help by our advisors. This helps ease the pain and emotional toll you may feel. Not having the involvement of the birth father can be detrimental to your mental health during this time. It is highly important that you are comfortable, safe, and happy during the adoption process.
Whether the birth father decides to support you or not, we are with you on this journey. Adoption Choices of Colorado will ensure that you have the best pregnancy ever and most comfortable adoption process. Call Adoption Choices of Colorado today. We are here for you through every step of the way!
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!