Colorado Surrogates on the Delivery and Postpartum Experience
For you’re considering becoming a surrogate in Colorado, you will have already had at least one healthy, successful pregnancy and delivery. That experience certainly informs the basic biological journey of pregnancy and delivery. But as a gestational surrogate, you’re carrying a baby on behalf of someone else. That key difference does impact some aspects of the delivery and postpartum experience Colorado surrogates have to go through.
Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado has a team of professionals to walk you through each step of the journey, including after the baby is born. Here are a few things you can expect.
If you or someone you know is interested in becoming a surrogate, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado.
- Practicality
The details of the delivery and hospital stay will be planned, as much as possible, in advance. One key difference you’ll notice as a surrogate is that because you are carrying someone else’s child, the intended parents’ wishes for their child’s delivery are as important as yours. Your case manager will be in touch with you, the intended parents, and the hospital throughout your third trimester to help create the best possible hospital plan for everyone involved.
A few things that might be considered are:
- At which hospital will you deliver? Very often, you, as the surrogate, will be able to choose the hospital. Your medical care team will have an affiliation. Usually, it’s close to your home. Most intended parents are more than willing to travel to the hospital of the surrogate’s choice.
- Who is going to be in the delivery room? You may want a doula to assist in the birth. Often the intended parents want to be in the room as well. In this case, the hospital’s policies could be a factor, but that’s less likely than in the past. Most hospitals have no problem accommodating situations like this. They’re happy to help you help the intended parents become a family.
- When the baby is delivered, who will cut the cord, and who will hold the baby first? Often this is some combination of the intended parents. Certainly, this is something they’ll want to consider well before delivery day.
- Will you breastfeed the baby after the birth? Breast milk is the ideal first meal for the baby. It’s a perfect food designed specifically for that baby that includes some natural immunities from the surrogate mother. Some surrogates will pump milk for a bottle for the intended parents. Some do breastfeed the baby at least once in the hospital. Other intended parents are comfortable giving the baby formula right away.
- Where will the baby stay after he or she is born? Certainly, the baby’s parents will want to be with their baby. But the baby cannot leave the hospital right away. Sometimes intended parents are able to have their own room in the hospital. When that’s not possible, they often stay at a hotel nearby. But sometimes, they stay in the surrogate’s room when everyone has agreed to that ahead of time. When the intended parents can’t stay in the hospital, the baby can either stay with the surrogate or in the nursery.
- Will there be photos/videos in the delivery room? While the baby being born is the baby of the intended parents, you are the person giving birth. Discussing ahead of time what kinds of photos or videos might be taken and who will be in them eliminates any awkwardness or surprise at the moment.
- When will you receive your post-delivery surrogate mother fees? Gestational surrogates don’t offer their body to carry a baby for another family for the money. They are most motivated by the joy of helping hopeful parents realize their dreams of building a family. Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado is a high-paying surrogacy agency, so our surrogate moms know they will be fairly compensated for everything their body goes through during this nearly year-long journey. Still, your case manager will make sure the financial expectations are detailed ahead of time and met at the appropriate time so you and the intended parents can both focus on this new family.
- When will I be able to see the baby again? Many surrogates and intended parents form lasting relationships and stay in touch for life. Some become part of an extended family. Others are more distant but happily provide photos and updates. Some intended parents do not want contact with their surrogates again after the baby is born. At Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado, we encourage at least minimal contact after the baby is born for the baby’s sake, but ultimately, it’s up to the parents. You, as the surrogate, can and should make your wishes and expectations known ahead of time. Talk to the intended parents and come to the agreement that works best for all of you. Our case managers are here to help!
These are a few of the many practical details that your case manager with Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado will help you and the intended parents work out well ahead of the delivery. The key to managing a joyful, successful delivery day for everyone is managing expectations ahead of time.
- Physically
A surrogacy pregnancy is no different than any other pregnancy in terms of the physical toll on your body postpartum. You’re likely to notice all of the same physical changes as you experienced with any past pregnancy. You may have gained weight or added a few new stretch marks. Most certainly, you’ll have some breast soreness or even engorgement as your milk comes in, then stops producing. Your joints and ligaments can be sensitive for a few months as the hormone, Relaxin, is still in your system. Depending on if you delivered vaginally or by C-section, you may be dealing with any manner of soreness, stitches, tears, and discomfort in personal places. Give yourself time to heal. The baby may not come home from the hospital with you, but the postpartum effects of the pregnancy sure do!
- Emotionally
Postpartum, you may experience a confusing array of emotions. Hormones are running wild in your body, and you’re going through an array of conflicting experiences. No question, you’ll feel the absolute joy of watching a new family begin and knowing you helped make that happen. But there can also be a sense of loss that this life that’s been growing inside you for most of a year is now not with you anymore. Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado offers several resources to help you deal with the emotional upheaval you may experience postpartum. We have everything from professional counselors to support from other Colorado surrogates via support groups. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone else who has been there.
- Externally
Many Colorado surrogates describe the impact on their recovery by the reactions of family and friends. The people you consider your support network can make or break your recovery journey by how they respond to it. While Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado is there to help and provide support in every way we can, professionally, you will need and want a solid personal support system in the days, weeks, and even months postpartum.
The Delivery and Postpartum is not Easy for Colorado Surrogates, but it is Worth It.
As a surrogate mother, you have given someone the greatest of gifts — the opportunity to be a family. The path of gestational surrogacy is not easy. It can be both physically and emotionally demanding. But in the end, our Colorado surrogates express such joy and honor to have helped hopeful people realize their dreams of becoming parents.
If you have had at least one successful pregnancy and delivery in the past, are of safe childbearing age and think surrogacy might be right for you, contact us to talk about it. Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado would love to answer your questions about how to become a surrogate in Colorado.
If you are interested in learning more about your gestational surrogacy options, contact Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: After graduating from the University of Michigan with a degree in Education, majoring in English and Social Sciences, Brianne Davis has spent her adult life as an educator; first in the public schools, later through martial arts. Her ability to convey difficult concepts, navigate varied learning styles, and always keep it interesting defined her reputation as an impactful instructor. Many of her early published blogs centered on the goal of helping other instructors effectively teach children for whom learning is a struggle. Once an empty nester, she committed to sitting in traffic less and writing more. With those goals in mind, she, along with her husband and dogs, packed up, sold their family home and moved to the banks of the Columbia River in Central Washington’s wine country, where the pace of life is slower and the sun shines brighter. Realizing in our modern age, more of us turn to the internet for information than ever before, Brianne, now dedicates her time to educating others through blog writing.
As a life-long information junkie, Brianne enjoys taking deep dives into new topics, then condensing them in an interesting way to convey valuable information in a relatively short amount of space. Once her career, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and mixed martial arts remain hobbies, along with boating, reading, and traveling.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!