Semi-Open Adoptions: Pros and Cons
When you are placing your baby for adoption, there are three different types of adoptions for you to choose from. To determine which one is right for you, it’s important to define what you are looking for in an adoption. How much contact you want with the adoptive parents. If you want information post adoption about how your child is doing. Do you want to know anything at all? Are you willing to establish a relationship with the adoptive parents and be an active part of both their and your child’s life?
If choosing between no contact or a lot of contact seems too extreme and you want something between, semi-open adoptions may be the best fit for you.
What are Semi-Open Adoptions?
Semi-open adoptions have often been called “the best of both worlds” or a “happy medium” in the adoption industry, as they are the in-between with the amount of involvement you have with the adoptive family and your child. It is a popular choice for birth mothers who want to continue with their life, but still have updates on how their baby is doing. Contact between the birth mother and adoptive parents is mediated through Adoption Choices of Colorado, and only non-identifying information is shared, providing some privacy.
In semi-open adoptions, it’s common for birth mothers to meet with the adoptive parents before the baby is born. Sometimes, the adoptive parents are able to be there for the actual birth and delivery. Letters and photos can be exchanged over the years through our adoption agency, and if either family would like an adjustment to the arrangement, perhaps to permit greater contact, that can easily be discussed. Beyond this, there is not typically continual contact.
Semi-Open Adoption Pros
1) Information about Your Child
A major pro for birth mothers with semi-open adoptions is the ability to learn how her child is doing post adoption. The letters and photos she receives from the adoptive parents give her peace of mind and comfort that she made the right decision.
2) Limited Contact
It’s not uncommon for birth mothers to feel that consistent communication and establishing a relationship with the adoptive parents is too much. That she won’t be able to live her life the way she wants and that there won’t be the amount of separation she needs to healthfully heal and move forward. The limited amount of contact within semi-open adoptions gives her this chance.
All she needs to know is that her child is happy, healthy and safe. That he or she is loved and being cared for in the way she wanted for them. Knowing this is enough.
3) Protection of Privacy
Another benefit with semi-open adoptions is that you don’t have to communicate directly with the adoptive parents. Our adoption agency does that for you. An adoption caseworker will act as a mediator with conference calls or emails, and help you set up a profile on ChildConnect.
This safe, confidential and secure online resource allows you to receive updates from the adoptive parents once or twice a year, depending on the agreement you all made during the adoption process. It also ensures that sharing pictures and letters back and forth goes smoothly. If you want to have any of those printed out, ChildConnect lets you create a Lifebook photo album you can print and have with you in your home.
Semi-Open Adoption Cons
1) Loss of Contact with Adoptive Parents
After the adoption has been finalized and time passes, you may begin to lose contact with the adoptive parents. Whether this is your choice or theirs, it’s been known to happen. This can also include the bond you made with the adoptive parents during the initial adoption process.
2) Agency goes out of Business
Because the majority of the contact is mediated through Adoption Choices of Colorado, it can feel like an additional loss if you lose contact with our adoption agency. This could happen if the mediator leaves his or her position, retires or our adoption agency goes out of business. However, in a situation like this, all client files, pictures and correspondences are immediately given to another agency or the state so that you are not left in the dark.
3) Internet decreases Privacy
In our current age of technology, there’s a risk that identities can be revealed through the magic of the Internet. That either party could find themselves via social media. Complete privacy may not be as possible as it once was. So, this is an important factor to keep in mind.
Semi-Open Adoption Pros and Cons
Choosing the type of adoption you want for you and your baby is a big decision. It can take time, and that’s completely natural. Research all you can about the three different levels of openness in adoption. Discuss your options with an adoption caseworker or speak with trusted friends and family members who have adopted, if you feel comfortable doing so. Ask them why they chose what they did. All of this can help you determine which is the best fit for you.
If you are interested in learning more about your gestational surrogacy options, contact Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!