Self-Care during the Adoption Process for Birth Mothers
We have said it before and will continue to say it — the adoption process may not be the easiest thing you will go through in your life. It is best to just be direct about the hardships you will face. However, here at Adoption Choices of Colorado, we will try to make the adoption process as smooth as possible for you. Sensitive issues and difficult decisions take time and care, which is why we have compiled this list of information to guide you on your journey. With several successful adoption stories played out with the help of our team, we are confident that we can help your story be a success, too.
To help you get started, we’d like to let you in a little secret. Self-care during the adoption process is beyond important. That’s right. One of the ways you’ll be successful in your adoption journey is if you take care of yourself.
How Do I Feel Okay about Placing My Child for Adoption?
There may be days where you feel extra emotional — where your choice may hit you harder than you’ve anticipated. But that’s okay. If you are placing your child for adoption and doing it out of love and care, that’s what really matters. Some of that may sound cliche, but finding a way to provide for your child when you feel as though you cannot is very admirable.
There is often guilt and concern about being selfish during this time, but the narrative is not “I cannot care for my child at this time, so I’m selfishly giving them away.” Rather, the narrative is “I cannot care for my child at this time, so to give them the best possible start in life, I am selflessly allowing them to be raised outside of my care.” As a birth mother, we know you have a special connection with your little one, which is why we will work with you to take the actions you wish to take. Much of what happens during the process happens at your discretion because your opinion is so important. Remembering both of those ideas — your selflessness and your level of control of the situation — should help you find your footing at the start of the adoption process.
What Resources are Available to Help Me Cope throughout the Adoption Process?
Adoption Choices of Colorado has a number of suggestions for you in regards to coping throughout the adoption process. First of all, we do offer counseling at no extra charge. You can connect with one of our adoption counselors before, during, and after the adoption takes place. Family and others close to the adoption are welcome to join you, but we also understand if the situation feels more personal to you.
That said, we do recommend that you surround yourself with a support team, whether that be family or people who are like family. No one should have to go through the adoption process alone. It’s important to be able to call in reliable supporters, especially if you are looking for people to be with you in the hospital if you have yet to give birth, or if you just need someone to talk to on a difficult day.
What else Should I Do to Take Care of Myself Personally?
Self-care during the adoption process really amounts to a strange balancing act of your feelings during some very intense emotional rollercoastering. While you should not shut out your feelings completely, as they will help guide you toward what is right for you and your child, you also should not let them completely consume you. It is always good to have things to occupy your time, such as hobbies or work, but if you become so task-oriented that you forget to be in touch with your emotions, that is not the best. That example shows just another good reason why counseling can be so important. Often, being guided through our feelings and daily struggles by an outside source helps us see things that we cannot see ourselves.
It’s also important to remember that we don’t live in the dark ages anymore. You can have an open adoption where you have the ability to organize visits with your child’s adoptive family to see your child. Connection is so important to so many people, so if you believe an open adoption is best for you, absolutely pursue that path.
Self-Care during the Colorado Adoption Process
The “what goes down” of the adoption process is almost entirely up to you, so hopefully that eases your mind somewhat. While, as we mentioned, it will not be the easiest thing in the world, it can be decently okay. Just remember to have courage, push for what you want, and use all of the resources at your disposal.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Nathan Dyer is a university student majoring in Communication Arts with a radio/TV/film focus. He enjoys writing professionally and dealing with hands-on problems in real-world scenarios. Among his hobbies is hiking, which always encourages him to explore new places. He looks forward to crafting written materials in the future that serve to help people from all walks of life.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!