Self-Care during the Adoption Process for Birth Mothers
We have said it before and will continue to say it — the adoption process may not be the easiest thing you will go through in your life. It is best to just be direct about the hardships you will face. However, here at Adoption Choices of Colorado, we will try to make the adoption process as smooth as possible for you. Sensitive issues and difficult decisions take time and care, which is why we have compiled this list of information to guide you on your journey. With several successful adoption stories played out with the help of our team, we are confident that we can help your story be a success, too.
To help you get started, we’d like to let you in a little secret. Self-care during the adoption process is beyond important. That’s right. One of the ways you’ll be successful in your adoption journey is if you take care of yourself.
How Do I Feel Okay about Placing My Child for Adoption?
There may be days where you feel extra emotional — where your choice may hit you harder than you’ve anticipated. But that’s okay. If you are placing your child for adoption and doing it out of love and care, that’s what really matters. Some of that may sound cliche, but finding a way to provide for your child when you feel as though you cannot is very admirable.
There is often guilt and concern about being selfish during this time, but the narrative is not “I cannot care for my child at this time, so I’m selfishly giving them away.” Rather, the narrative is “I cannot care for my child at this time, so to give them the best possible start in life, I am selflessly allowing them to be raised outside of my care.” As a birth mother, we know you have a special connection with your little one, which is why we will work with you to take the actions you wish to take. Much of what happens during the process happens at your discretion because your opinion is so important. Remembering both of those ideas — your selflessness and your level of control of the situation — should help you find your footing at the start of the adoption process.
What Resources are Available to Help Me Cope throughout the Adoption Process?
Adoption Choices of Colorado has a number of suggestions for you in regards to coping throughout the adoption process. First of all, we do offer counseling at no extra charge. You can connect with one of our adoption counselors before, during, and after the adoption takes place. Family and others close to the adoption are welcome to join you, but we also understand if the situation feels more personal to you.
That said, we do recommend that you surround yourself with a support team, whether that be family or people who are like family. No one should have to go through the adoption process alone. It’s important to be able to call in reliable supporters, especially if you are looking for people to be with you in the hospital if you have yet to give birth, or if you just need someone to talk to on a difficult day.
What else Should I Do to Take Care of Myself Personally?
Self-care during the adoption process really amounts to a strange balancing act of your feelings during some very intense emotional rollercoastering. While you should not shut out your feelings completely, as they will help guide you toward what is right for you and your child, you also should not let them completely consume you. It is always good to have things to occupy your time, such as hobbies or work, but if you become so task-oriented that you forget to be in touch with your emotions, that is not the best. That example shows just another good reason why counseling can be so important. Often, being guided through our feelings and daily struggles by an outside source helps us see things that we cannot see ourselves.
It’s also important to remember that we don’t live in the dark ages anymore. You can have an open adoption where you have the ability to organize visits with your child’s adoptive family to see your child. Connection is so important to so many people, so if you believe an open adoption is best for you, absolutely pursue that path.
Self-Care during the Colorado Adoption Process
The “what goes down” of the adoption process is almost entirely up to you, so hopefully that eases your mind somewhat. While, as we mentioned, it will not be the easiest thing in the world, it can be decently okay. Just remember to have courage, push for what you want, and use all of the resources at your disposal.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Nathan Dyer is a university student majoring in Communication Arts with a radio/TV/film focus. He enjoys writing professionally and dealing with hands-on problems in real-world scenarios. Among his hobbies is hiking, which always encourages him to explore new places. He looks forward to crafting written materials in the future that serve to help people from all walks of life.