A while back, we discussed all-encompassing self-care tips during your unplanned pregnancy. This week, we are specifically diving into self-care during Mother’s Day. These tips are supported by more generalized tips that include forms of pampering, staying positive and partaking in activities you enjoy. Activities that, perhaps, you may not do for yourself on a daily basis.
Self-Care
Although this may fall in line with some of your everyday self-care, make sure you continue to have healthy and realistic expectations in place. You can even utilize these tips past pregnancy and make them long-term lifestyle habits. It is also important to know what self-care looks like to you, as it is different for every person. There is no right or wrong way to practice self-care during Mother’s Day.
Keeping up with Everything that Supports You and Prepares You
During the month of May, our world accentuates the idea that celebrating all moms and taking extra care of oneself is only for this one day of the year. However, you can and should celebrate and take care of yourself on a daily basis. All too often, important self-care and developing everyday rituals fall through the cracks or get placed on the back burner.
1. Remind yourself you’re on the right track
It is easy to dwell on the negatives, but remind yourself to focus on the positives. Think about where you were at a year prior. Any accomplishments, both big and small, are worth taking note of. See how far you’ve come! Be proud of yourself. Whether it’s creating an adoption plan, meeting families, picking the adoptive family, or creating hospital and placement plans — every step forward counts. Mother’s Day and every day should be celebrated for the selfless acts you have chosen to make.
2. Prepare for questions or uncomfortable situations
Always remember to put yourself first. If you need to minimize your time in public spaces or with family, do it. Don’t feel guilty about it. Take a deep breath and be patient with yourself. Holidays can be stressful, as can picking the perfect card out of the Mother’s Day card aisle.
As with most family-related events, you are bound to be bombarded with family-oriented questions. Prepare yourself with readily available answers. Even if your family has good intentions, some of the questions can still hurt and sound insensitive. But don’t let anyone ruin your day or cause you to feel less about yourself. Your feelings, emotions and decisions are valid. On Mother’s Day and every other day of the year.
3. Lean on your support system
As a mother-to-be, what you are going through and how you are feeling is perfectly natural. Just because you have off days doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It just means you are human. There are so many expecting mothers who are experiencing similar feelings. Join an online support group or discussion forum. Connect with other expecting mothers who are planning adoption placement. Talk to your family and friends, and especially your agencies or counselors, as their main priority is to support you and help you.
4. Continue to follow through with your adoption plan
Just because you’re waiting for the adoption process or placement to take place doesn’t mean you have to just sit there and, well, wait. Instead, use Mother’s Day as a day to celebrate your upcoming motherhood. Check in with your caseworker if you haven’t done so lately. Set up Skype chats to meet potential families if you haven’t finished doing that step. Or finalize your hospital plan, especially during these specific times our world is currently facing — see our blog interview with Cassidie Reiman, Birth Parent Caseworker for Adoption Choices of Colorado that informs you of what to expect during COVID-19.
Self-Care Ideas
Here are some ideas on how you can practice self-care during Mother’s Day. This list is non-exhaustive but can help you become inspired to expand your daily self-care routine. If you think of something else that would work for you — go for it:
- Find balance — Acknowledge your feelings even out loud if you need to and then let them go.
- Stay present and in your physical body — Move your body (dancing, running, walking, biking or hiking etc.), create something like music, art, etc. do yoga or meditate or do something that brings stillness to the chatter in your mind.
- Connect with others — support groups, friends, family and other forms of support.
- Let go of the guilt or any other feelings you may have — Be honest with yourself.
- Take time for yourself — Spend 30 minutes every day taking care of your needs. The better you take care of yourself, the better you will be able to take care of anything else you need to do.
- Sleep in — Enjoy that extra hour or two with no alarm clock.
- Go to your favorite coffee shop or cafe — one that is special to you and holds positive memories.
- Plan an afternoon stay-cation — Free, at-home vacations are the best time to relax and do all the things you haven’t gotten around to.
- Plan a future outing — Go to your favorite restaurant or park, or plan a day trip to a place you have never been, but always wanted to visit.
- Journal or read — This is to support your self-care habits and online support groups. But it’s also just an activity that is all about you and what you need and want.
- Take a nap or an extra long shower — Don’t feel guilty; listen to your body.
- Pamper yourself — Get a massage, get a mani-pedi or put on a face mask and take a bubble bath.
- Go for a drive and play your favorite music or drive in silence — “You” time comes in all forms.
- Explore a favorite childhood hobby — It is one of the best ways to get back in touch with your true self.
- Netflix marathon — that series you have been dying to watch, or just your favorite genre of movies.
- Dessert for dinner — It should be rule number one.
Other Resources and Support
Self-care is more than just pampering. It is seeking outside support and help when you need it. A number of birth moms experience prenatal depression and anxiety. If you ever have concerns about these, or just feel off, make sure to talk to your doctor. It is not a sign of weakness to ask for help. At times, we all need extra support, so don’t be afraid to seek advice, therapy, medication (as long as it is approved by your doctor) or support from family and friends.
Here at Adoption Choices of Colorado, we also provide support in the form of free counseling and other resources such as financial and legal options, adoption plans, etc. We are always here to help, especially when it comes to helping you feel positive about your unplanned pregnancy and the choices you are making.
Celebrate Yourself
Our society has made Mother’s Day all about women who already have children. Yet, this national holiday should also include women on the brink of motherhood. Pregnant and expectant women. Mothers-to-be. That means you.
You deserve to be valued and celebrated just as much as the rest. So, go out and do just that. Treat yourself to a pamper day or a few activities that you enjoy most. Whatever makes YOU feel special. Mother’s Day is a great excuse for this, and a day to remind yourself that you are a beautiful, strong and courageous mother.
Self-Care during Mother’s Day
What would Mother’s Day be without pampering and indulgences? Don’t limit yourself to just one day, though. Self-care every day is just as important as self-care during Mother’s Day. Use this day as a day to reconnect with yourself and make a list of all the ways you want to revamp or restart caring for yourself.
Remember that this day is all about you.
Adoption Choices of Colorado
Adoption Choices, Inc. is a private, non-profit adoption agency licensed by the state and leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive parents in Colorado since 2002. Our staff has a genuine commitment to providing an empathetic, empowering, and progressive experience to all involved in the adoption process. For more information on adoption please contact Adoption Choices of Colorado. We can be reached via our website or phone 303-670-4401.
Support Adoption Choices
Adoption Choices, Inc. is partnering with Crowdrise, a fundraising website for nonprofits, to help our adoptive parents and birth parents with much needed financial assistance. We understand that expenses keep clients from fulfilling their dreams. Both with birth parents making a plan for adoption, and with adoptive parents growing their family. It is our mission to provide financial assistance through grants and scholarships, awarded annually in November, in honor of National Adoption Month. Funds assist adoptive parents with matching and placements, adoption finalization and helping birth mothers improve their lives through higher education — and much more.
However, we can’t do it alone. Please read up on our programs and donate money where you are able. Your donation will make a huge impact.
About the Author
Taylor Tsakopulos, the bestselling student. She has interned locally in Denver and internationally in Dublin, Ireland, taken classes/workshops and worked odd jobs and yet always comes back to being a student and the desire to learn or create.
She is a jack of all trades (i.e. a Gemini). She is a Denver-based writer, creator, artist and student. A graduate from Metropolitan State University of Denver (MSU).
When she isn’t creating content she’s off dancing and hiking. Always chasing after new things and experiences. After living and working in Europe, she is hungry for more.
———-
Sources:
How To Survive Mother’s Day When You’re Waiting To Adopt. Retrieved April 27, 2020, from http://www.americaadopts.com/how-to-survive-mothers-day-when-youre-waiting-to-adopt/
How to Treat Yourself Well this Mother’s Day. (2013, October 7). Retrieved April 27, 2020, from https://www.momtastic.com/health/your-health/176029-how-to-treat-yourself-well-this-mothers-day/
Ireland, L. (1970, May 6). 15 ways to treat yourself this mother’s day. Retrieved April 27, 2020, from https://www.theloop.ca/15-ways-to-treat-yourself-this-mothers-day/
Kim, Kelly, Sarah, Luz, L. L., C, J., Tess, … Caffrey, K. (2019, May 12). How to Survive Mother’s Day if You’ve Experienced Adoption or Infertility. Retrieved April 27, 2020, from https://lavenderluz.com/how-to-survive-mothers-day/
Ramos, B. (2018, July 10). Retrieved April 27, 2020, from https://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/1080114/almost-free-ways-to-treat-yourself-this-mothers-day/3/
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!