Reasons Birth Mothers may Choose a Closed Adoption
As a birth mother, you know what is best for you and your child. You choose what type of adoption you want for a reason and, no matter the reason, it is completely valid. There are an infinite amount of reasons to choose a certain type of adoption and many reasons birth mothers may choose a closed adoption.
In a closed adoption, there is no contact between the birth mother, the adoptive parents, and the child. You will not know each other’s identities. You might be interested in this because you are wanting privacy, wanting a sense of closure and wanting to move on with your life, or you are seeking reduced fear. All of these feelings you are after and wanting are completely valid. You can choose how involved you want to be in your adoption and if you don’t want to be involved at all, that is a choice you can make.
This is a big decision, but you are not alone. There are so many different reasons birth mothers may choose a closed adoption that you might have similarities in, but in the end, it is all up to you with why and what type of adoption you choose.
1) Closed Adoption Allows You Privacy
Privacy is a big reason why some birth mothers may choose a closed adoption. In a closed adoption, you do not know the identities of the adoptive parents nor do they know yours. No one in the adoption process, except for your adoption caseworker, will know your identity. Do not feel bad for not wanting the adoptive family and your child to know your identity. It’s okay to choose a closed adoption because you want privacy.
Unfortunately, some birth mothers feel vulnerable when it comes to adoption, but closed adoption may make you feel a lot better. It is anonymous and confidential. All of your information is private and you will be able to keep every detail of your adoption private from everyone around you as well. No one needs to know anything about it if you don’t want them to.
2) Closed Adoption Gives You a Sense of Closure
When you have an unplanned pregnancy, you may not be in the best place to raise a child and that’s okay. Choosing a closed adoption might give you the sense of closure you are looking for. Being able to have someone else parent your child when you can’t, with no contact, might help you move on with your life. Depending on your situation, you may just want to move on with your life and forget about this pregnancy and adoption. That is okay. Do not be ashamed of those feelings.
There are many reasons why birth mothers may want a sense of closure. One of those could be because the pregnancy was a result of a sexual assault. A closed adoption may help give you a sense of closure and help you move on from such a traumatic experience.
It’s okay to want closure. You are not alone in this emotion. At Adoption Choices of Colorado, we want you to be able to get that sense of closure you’ve been wanting.
3) Closed Adoption can Reduce Your Fear of Adoption
Closed adoption may be able to reduce fear for you. You may not feel comfortable explaining to others why you decided that adoption is the right choice for you. Especially with closed adoption having a lot of stigma around it, you may be a bit anxious, but if that is your decision, that is okay. Closed adoption will allow this reduced fear because it will be a fully private process.
You might feel guilty for deciding to place your baby up for adoption, or for how the baby was conceived, and you might be anxious to explain your decision to others. You can reserve that information because of how anonymous a closed adoption is. You can avoid confrontation through a closed adoption and reduce your fear of adoption.
How do You Envision Your Life after Adoption?
Choosing what type of adoption you want is a hard decision to make, but ask yourself how you envision your future. Do you envision your future life involving the adoptive family and your child, or do you want to completely cut off that part of your life? It is all up to you.
No matter the reasons birth mothers may choose a closed adoption, you have your reasons and they are all valid. We want you to choose whatever the best option is for you and your child. Take your time making this big decision. We are here to help you through the entire adoption process.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Molly Allington is an aspiring author born and raised in Syracuse, New York. When she’s not watching her latest Netflix obsession, you can find her nose deep in a book or in her writing. She has been writing books since she was twelve and is in the process of trying to get her finished books published. Molly has a BA in Creative Writing from Southern New Hampshire University. With her writing, she is hoping to share supportive information and help as many people as possible. Once she starts her own family, she is wanting to adopt.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!