Reasons Birth Mothers may Choose a Closed Adoption
As a birth mother, you know what is best for you and your child. You choose what type of adoption you want for a reason and, no matter the reason, it is completely valid. There are an infinite amount of reasons to choose a certain type of adoption and many reasons birth mothers may choose a closed adoption.
In a closed adoption, there is no contact between the birth mother, the adoptive parents, and the child. You will not know each other’s identities. You might be interested in this because you are wanting privacy, wanting a sense of closure and wanting to move on with your life, or you are seeking reduced fear. All of these feelings you are after and wanting are completely valid. You can choose how involved you want to be in your adoption and if you don’t want to be involved at all, that is a choice you can make.
This is a big decision, but you are not alone. There are so many different reasons birth mothers may choose a closed adoption that you might have similarities in, but in the end, it is all up to you with why and what type of adoption you choose.
1) Closed Adoption Allows You Privacy
Privacy is a big reason why some birth mothers may choose a closed adoption. In a closed adoption, you do not know the identities of the adoptive parents nor do they know yours. No one in the adoption process, except for your adoption caseworker, will know your identity. Do not feel bad for not wanting the adoptive family and your child to know your identity. It’s okay to choose a closed adoption because you want privacy.
Unfortunately, some birth mothers feel vulnerable when it comes to adoption, but closed adoption may make you feel a lot better. It is anonymous and confidential. All of your information is private and you will be able to keep every detail of your adoption private from everyone around you as well. No one needs to know anything about it if you don’t want them to.
2) Closed Adoption Gives You a Sense of Closure
When you have an unplanned pregnancy, you may not be in the best place to raise a child and that’s okay. Choosing a closed adoption might give you the sense of closure you are looking for. Being able to have someone else parent your child when you can’t, with no contact, might help you move on with your life. Depending on your situation, you may just want to move on with your life and forget about this pregnancy and adoption. That is okay. Do not be ashamed of those feelings.
There are many reasons why birth mothers may want a sense of closure. One of those could be because the pregnancy was a result of a sexual assault. A closed adoption may help give you a sense of closure and help you move on from such a traumatic experience.
It’s okay to want closure. You are not alone in this emotion. At Adoption Choices of Colorado, we want you to be able to get that sense of closure you’ve been wanting.
3) Closed Adoption can Reduce Your Fear of Adoption
Closed adoption may be able to reduce fear for you. You may not feel comfortable explaining to others why you decided that adoption is the right choice for you. Especially with closed adoption having a lot of stigma around it, you may be a bit anxious, but if that is your decision, that is okay. Closed adoption will allow this reduced fear because it will be a fully private process.
You might feel guilty for deciding to place your baby up for adoption, or for how the baby was conceived, and you might be anxious to explain your decision to others. You can reserve that information because of how anonymous a closed adoption is. You can avoid confrontation through a closed adoption and reduce your fear of adoption.
How do You Envision Your Life after Adoption?
Choosing what type of adoption you want is a hard decision to make, but ask yourself how you envision your future. Do you envision your future life involving the adoptive family and your child, or do you want to completely cut off that part of your life? It is all up to you.
No matter the reasons birth mothers may choose a closed adoption, you have your reasons and they are all valid. We want you to choose whatever the best option is for you and your child. Take your time making this big decision. We are here to help you through the entire adoption process.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Molly Allington is an aspiring author born and raised in Syracuse, New York. When she’s not watching her latest Netflix obsession, you can find her nose deep in a book or in her writing. She has been writing books since she was twelve and is in the process of trying to get her finished books published. Molly has a BA in Creative Writing from Southern New Hampshire University. With her writing, she is hoping to share supportive information and help as many people as possible. Once she starts her own family, she is wanting to adopt.