Real Life Adoption Stories from Adoptive Parents: An Interview with Liz Udall
Every year, we get excited for November because it’s National Adoption Month — a month devoted to advocating for children who are waiting for permanent, loving families, and raising awareness about the continuing need for and issues surrounding adoption!
But it’s not just agencies and organizations that raise awareness during this special time of year. Any person impacted by adoption has a story to share, and, no matter their role, every voice and perspective is valuable.
Adoption Choices of Colorado is here to share their stories! Let us take you on a journey through the complexities and joys of building a family through adoption. This week, we had the joyous opportunity to interview Liz Udall. Her and her husband Ben have been married for 10 years and have three adopted children: Jonathan, Arianna, and Elizabeth. Here’s a deeper look into their adoption story.
An Adoptive Parent’s Story about Adoption
PB: How did you decide to adopt?
LU: Ben and I tried to have kids for 5 years. Adoption was something we were always interested in but thought we couldn’t do. In 2015, though, my mom passed away. On the drive back from her funeral, Ben and I were talking, and we decided that it felt like the right time to try. We were finally ready to start the adoption process. This love of adoption had been growing in our hearts for years, you know? It’s crazy because a month later, I found out I wasn’t able to have children.
PB: How long ago did you adopt?
LU: On October 27, 2016, our son Jonathan was born in Ohio. The twins were born in Nevada on October 6, 2019. Arianna (nickname Ari) was born 1 minute before her sister, Elizabeth (nickname Ellie).
PB: What type of adoption did you choose (open, closed, semi-open)?
LU: With Jonathan, we chose a semi-open adoption. Since then, we’ve transitioned into a fully open adoption! We plan to do the same with the twins! Right now, we’re in a semi-open adoption.
PB: How has that worked out?
LU: With Jonathan’s birth mother, we communicated through letters. We built such a good relationship with her that we decided to open the adoption up more. In June, we visited her and Jonathan’s full sister and half-brother in Ohio. It was a beautiful moment.
PB: Have you ever wished you’d chosen differently?
LU: Ben and I are really happy with the way we did it! It’s been such a natural progression.
PB: What was the highlight of your adoption experience?
LU: What a tough one! I really love the redemption of the situation. We weren’t able to have children, and that realization was painful. But there’s such a beautifulness in that adoption helped mend us – mend our brokenness and pain.
PB: What was the biggest challenge?
LU: The biggest challenge was the waiting and the wondering. There’s so much you can’t control. Once you’re in the matching phase, it’s out of your hands. You get to look at profiles of people, but after that? It’s a lack of control. A waiting game. It’s the unknown that really gets to you.
Particularly, after the twin’s birth, their birth mom had complications. She’s okay now! But during that time, we had to wait for what felt like forever to achieve placement. We were bonding with the twins and just hoping that everything would go as planned. That we would get to love them and raise them. Now, we’re waiting for the adoption to be finalized, which should be in about 6 months.
PB: What would you have done differently?
LU: Nothing really! I feel like it all happened as it was supposed to.
PB: Would you adopt again?
LU: Ben and I have adopted twice now! But I’d be open to it again in the future. Although, I want the twins to be older haha.
PB: How has Adoption impacted your life?
LU: Adoption made me a mother. It’s something I’d been craving and longing for for so long. It felt right. It felt as if this was how it was supposed to happen, how I was supposed to enter motherhood. Our children are our children. Adoption has totally changed our lives, and we feel incredibly blessed by it. I don’t have enough words. It’s been very healing.
PB: Do you have any advice for other adoptive parents who are looking to adopt?
LU: Choose the right agency. It’s key! If a friend asks for my opinion, I tell them to do their research. Choose one that networks out of state. Being open to out of state adoption is important. I’m so thankful we went with Adoption Choices. I’ve seen friends go with other agencies, and they’ve had to wait years and years. I couldn’t be happier with the way things worked out.
Liz Udall’s Adoption Story
It’s fitting that this year’s National Adoption Month focuses on why family matters. As you can tell, family is the epitome of happiness for Liz and Ben Udall. Without their children, the Udall’s lives would be lacking. Adoption allowed them the opportunity to make their family whole again.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!