Pros and Cons of a Colorado Closed Adoption
In the past, women facing an unplanned pregnancy had fewer options to choose from. But thankfully, times have changed. Now, expectant mothers can choose from three different types of adoption. Closed adoption, once the only adoption choice, has become the least common of the three adoption options.
There are many reasons why open adoption or semi-open adoption are viewed as the most beneficial choices for everyone in the adoption triad. But for some expectant mothers, closed adoption is the best choice. Each situation is different. For that reason, Adoption Choices of Colorado is among the adoption agencies in Colorado that still offer closed adoption.
Are There Advantages to a Closed Adoption?
Yes! That’s why we continue to facilitate closed adoptions at Adoption Choices of Colorado. The pros and cons of closed adoption are specific to each situation, but closed adoption is always an option.
- Separation from a traumatic event. For expectant mothers who became pregnant through sexual assault, for instance, closed adoption can be the best option. After experiencing that trauma, a birth mother could see ongoing contact with the baby as a reminder of a terrible event in her life. Additionally, with a closed adoption, the child will never have to know the difficult circumstances surrounding his or her conception.
- Protection for the child from an unhealthy environment. Sometimes expectant mothers have violent people in their lives and don’t want to expose their child to that person or situation. Closed adoption allows the birth mother to protect her child from a potentially dangerous person or toxic environment.
- Sense of closure and privacy. Closed adoption makes it far less likely that your child will ever reach out to you, the birth father or your family. For a woman who has no desire to raise a child herself, closed adoption is the closest she can come to not having any kind of role in the child’s life in the future. Although, keep in mind that social media and the internet may make your complete privacy and anonymity difficult to conceal completely.
What are the Disadvantages of Closed Adoptions?
While the pros of closed adoption tend to be specific to a particular situation, the cons apply to most closed adoptions, and should be carefully considered before you decide what adoption option is right for you and your baby.
- Your decision is final. Once you relinquish your parental rights, your decision is final and permanent. You can’t change your mind about seeing your child again. For a young woman in crisis, this might seem like it will be easier for her emotionally. Yet, at the same time, each and every situation is unique to the birth mother. So, how closed adoptions impact her can greatly vary.
- You may experience grief and loss. After you’ve given birth, you will always be aware of your baby’s existence in the world. With any adoption choice, you can experience some level of grief. Even in open adoptions, birth mothers need time and distance to heal. Often birth mothers find a greater level of comfort by seeing their baby in a loving home through open or semi-open adoption. With a closed adoption, the uncertainty about how your baby is doing can cause depression and anxiety.
- No contact with your child. Later in life, maybe you’ll have other children, or be in a healthier place, and wonder how your child is doing. Is he or she happy and thriving? What do they look like? What activities interest him or her? Unfortunately, with closed adoption you will not have access to that information. In closed adoptions, all adoption records are sealed after the adoption becomes finalized in court.
How do I Know if Choosing Closed Adoption is the Right Choice for Me?
Deciding to place your baby for adoption is never an easy choice. When you’re considering the pros and cons of closed adoption, keep in mind the uniqueness of your specific situation. If you’re concerned for your baby’s safety, if you became pregnant as a result of a sexual assault, or if you are absolutely certain you do not want contact with your child, closed adoption might be the best option for you and your baby.
If you think that maybe one day you might want contact with your child or their adoptive parents, an open or semi-open adoption can be a better choice. These types of adoptions at least give you options for contact. Remember: even if you’re in crisis right now, you won’t always be. Open adoption and semi-open adoption doesn’t mean you have to have a lot of contact with your child or the adoptive family post adoption. It just means you have the option, if you want it.
Is Closed Adoption the Best Option for My Unplanned Pregnancy?
Your adoption caseworker can talk with you more about types of open adoptions and the advantages and disadvantages of each. Some birth mothers only want occasional photos and updates, but do not want to share personal information or have in-person contact. Others have close relationships with the adoptive family and an active role in their child’s life post adoption.
Most adoption experts agree that open adoption is the most beneficial and healthy choice for adoptees, birth mothers and adoptive families. But, in some situations, closed adoption is the right choice. Your situation is unique. The adoption professionals at Adoption Choices of Colorado will help you weigh the pros and cons of closed as well as open adoptions. We will provide you with the support you need to make an adoption plan that works best for you and your baby.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: After graduating from University of Michigan with a degree in Education, majoring in English and Social Sciences, Brianne Davis has spent her adult life as an educator; first in the public schools, later through martial arts. Her ability to convey difficult concepts, navigate varied learning styles, and always keep it interesting defined her reputation as an impactful instructor. Many of her early published blogs centered on the goal of helping other instructors effectively teach children for whom learning is a struggle. Once an empty nester, she committed to sitting in traffic less and writing more. With those goals in mind, she, along with her husband and dogs, packed up, sold their family home, and moved to the banks of the Columbia River in Central Washington’s wine country, where the pace of life is slower and the sun shines brighter. Realizing in our modern age, more of us turn to the internet for information than ever before, Brianne, now dedicates her time to educating others through blog writing.
As a life-long information junkie, Brianne enjoys taking deep dives into new topics, then condensing them in an interesting way to convey valuable information in a relatively short amount of space. Once her career, Brazilian jiu jitsu and mixed martial arts remain hobbies, along with boating, reading and traveling.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!