Positive Adoption Language (PAL): What is the Difference Between “Give Up,” “Put Up,” and “Place” Baby for Adoption?
By Melissa Camacho
You are a birth mother choosing a Denver adoption in Colorado, and you want to have an understanding of related adoption terms or phrases. This helps to make your adoption experience better. In addition, you want to know what you are pursuing in your adoption journey, right? Adoption Choices of Colorado is a leading adoption agency that aims to educate birth mothers about the culture of adoption, including language.
Learning Positive Adoption Language (PAL) helps birth mothers be secure about their adoption options. In the world of adoption, you hear familiar terms, such as “give up,” “put up,” and “place” your baby for adoption. We want to help you clarify what these terms mean in their context. While these terms serve the same purpose of surrendering your parental rights, not all implement a positive representation of adoption.
Practicing Positive Adoption Language (PAL)
Where Did the Term “Put Up” Baby for Adoption Originate From?
The term “put up” baby for adoption goes back to the orphan train movement during the mid-19th to 21st century. Orphans were placed in trains to be transported and adopted by adoptive families. If you say you are putting up a child for adoption, you are delivering your child to be cared for by another family. It is seen as a birth mother relinquishing her parental rights due to a lack of child support and other unforeseen circumstances. “Putting up” is not seen as panicking, quitting, or simply neglectful behavior.
Is Putting or Placing a Child for Adoption Giving up?
The most important thing to learn in the adoption community is that adoption is not “giving up .”You are not giving up. Rather you are placing your baby up for adoption. The term “giving up” sounds like a careless way to relinquish your parental rights. Adoption is a more responsible, caring, and loving act to surrender your parental rights to a caring adoptive family. That’s why we use a more positive terms like “place” your baby for adoption or “put up” your baby for adoption. Placing your baby for adoption is similar to “put up” and is technically more often referred to as creating an adoption plan.
How to Place Your Baby for Adoption
When you contact our adoption agencies in Colorado, you let an adoption professional know you will “place” your child for adoption. You will then be connected to an adoption specialist to meet virtually or discuss your options. This is where you decide whether you want an open-adoption, semi-adoption, or closed-adoption. You choose an open-adoption to establish a relationship where you get as much contact with the adoptive family.
If you want some level of contact while keeping your personal information secure, you choose a semi-adoption. A semi-adoption allows you to communicate with the adoptive family through a third party or adoption agency. To not want any communication with the adoptive family or your child, you will need a closed adoption.
In addition, you can discuss other resources to help you maneuver through the adoption process. Adoption Choices of Colorado assists birth mothers in paying for monthly expenses, such as housing, transportation, medical, and food costs if eligible. We can also assist birth mothers experiencing homelessness as well. Our adoption professionals can help you find a safe and healthy home environment for your stay. Last but not least, we offer counseling services for birth mothers experiencing mental health issues.
Choosing an Adoptive Family in Colorado
We can help you search for a responsible and caring adoptive family for your child. You can learn about different types of highly qualified adoptive families on our waiting families page. A home study will be conducted by a social worker. The social worker will perform background screenings on the adoptive family and review financial statements. This process is to ensure your child is placed in a safe, friendly, and healthy home environment.
Post Placement Support Services Available After Placing Your Child for Adoption
On the second Monday of every month, our birth mothers are welcome to join our Post Placement support service program. We are understanding and empathetic towards a birth mother’s recovery after the adoption is finalized. In addition, we offer monthly support groups for birth mothers in need of coping with trauma from an unplanned pregnancy. Other extended benefits we offer include food, child care, and financial assistance. For more information, speak with your adoption specialist. Our adoption centers are located throughout Denver, Colorado Springs, and Boulder.
Don’t be Ashamed to Place, Your Baby for Adoption Today!
Considering adoption in Colorado will ease your frustration and stress through childbirth. Our adoption professionals will guide you and lead you in the right direction to place your baby for adoption. We work to ensure our birth mothers feel comfortable and secure being part of the adoption community.
We embrace the culture of the adoption community by promoting all aspects of adoption awareness. If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!