Placing Your Child with LGBTQ Adoptive Parents
This is an absolute affirmation that LGBTQ adoptive parents are wonderful, and equally deserving of parenthood, as any other type of adoptive family. There are many advantages to placing your child with a same-sex couple or individual. Unfortunately, there are also many challenges, and that is something we should be working towards rectifying everyday as a people. Thankfully, Colorado law prohibits discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.
We at Adoption Choices of Colorado wholeheartedly embrace any prospective adoptive parent who comes to us to start a family.
Looking to Parent
As a birth mother, you want your child to be placed with the most loving and supportive people possible. Obviously, sexual orientation is not what determines the content of someone’s character. However, it is a reality that same-sex couples and individuals cannot conceive a child on their own. Aside from artificial insemination or surrogacy, adoption is often their only route.
As such, they are highly committed, and deeply invested in the adoption process. They want to work with you, and their top concern is the betterment of your child. This is something every birth mother should receive at minimum from any prospective adoptive family.
Open-Mindedness
Being raised by same-sex adoptive parents has proven to foster open-mindness in children. This, as a result, has helped shape adoptees into more loving, respectful and accepting adults overall. Placing your child with LGBTQ adoptive parents will be similar. Your child will understand that there are many different kinds of families, all who need to be respected and appreciated. There are different cultures, races, and ethnicities, and that should be celebrated. Individuality is important, and makes us who we are. Your child will also gain a healthier and stronger sense of self and identity this way.
Supporting One Another
It is an unfortunate truth that prospective LGBTQ adoptive parents can face a lot of discrimination. Uneducated or uninformed people believe that members of the LGBTQ community shouldn’t have a right to be parents, and try to dissolve their attempts to adopt. By selecting a loving, committed, same-sex couple or individual to place your child with, you are helping to diminish that hateful narrative. You are helping to further progression and making a family’s dreams come true.
Things to Keep in Mind
- Being raised by LGBTQ adoptive parents will not turn your child gay. One of the most frequent arguments made against members of the LGBTQ community who are pursuing adoption is that they are going to “turn the child gay.” This belief is derogatory, dehumanizing, and categorically untrue. There is no evidence to support this claim, or to prove that growing up with same-sex parents impacts a child differently than growing up with heterosexual parents. We do an enormous disservice to the LGBTQ community by parusing this narrative.
- Your child may be subject to discrimination. Birth mothers often fear that their child will be the subject of bullying, because he or she is raised by LGBTQ parents. This is another unfortunate possibility. Bullying is a massive problem among young children. Words hurt, and they can cut a young kid to the core. However, this should not dissuade you from placing your child with an LGBTQ couple or individual. Because they may have faced similar instances of judgment and prejudice, your child’s adoptive parents will surround him or her with love, support and comfort. They will teach your child about hate and ignorance, and the power of identity and self-worth. As a result, your child will learn to stand up for themselves and choose compassion in times like this.
If you are experiencing any of these fears, it’s perfectly okay to talk to one of the counselors at Adoption Choices of Colorado. There are a lot of extreme emotions that you may experience during your adoption journey, and we understand that. We have specialized Birth Parent Counselors that you can speak with, or you can attend LifeTime Healing, a support group for birth mothers.
This Isn’t Goodbye
The adoption process may seem incredibly overwhelming, but bare in mind that you hold the power. You are looking to give your child the best life possible, and that is the most that anyone can ask of a birth mother. There are many wonderful same-sex couples and indivuduals out there who are ready to take on the mantle of parenthood, and are ready to include you in the journey as well.
Adoption Choices of Colorado advocates heavily for open adoptions. This is so you can remain a part of your child’s life and watch them grow into the person they are meant to be. Many adoptive parents are more than happy to facilitate this kind of relationship, and agree to open adoption agreements, as it will prove beneficial for both you and your child. Additionally, being secure in the knowledge that your child is being raised in a safe environment could propel you to move on with your own life and create and cultivate a beneficial environment of your own.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Katherine Burns is a journalism student at Loyola University Maryland with plans to pursue a career in the news and magazine industries. With over three years of experience writing for the Greyhound Newspaper at Loyola, Katherine specializes in Op-eds. However, she has recently branched out to cover a variety of topics, including education and sports journalism. She also has ample experience with travel blogging.
Katherine has conducted a variety of interviews in her time at Loyola and has displayed her stories through differing forms of media. In addition to her studies at Loyola, Katherine spent the fall of 2019 studying communications at the American University of Paris.To learn more about Katherine, be sure to check her out on social media.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!