Placing Another Baby with the Same Adoption Agency
Navigating an unplanned pregnancy once is complicated enough. If you are experiencing this a second time, it can be perfectly natural to wonder if the steps of the adoption process in Colorado are the same. It can be a confusing time, and dealing with those complicated emotions that can surround another pregnancy is challenging.
Let us reassure you. Adoption Choices of Colorado is more than happy to work with you again!
Will the Second Adoption Process Change at All from the First?
Whether you are a first time or second time birth mother, the adoption process remains very much the same. As a returning birth mother, however, there is a familiarity and previously established connection with the process, agency and staff, making you feel more confident and at ease right from the beginning.
The steps of the adoption process in Colorado itself will not change. As the birth mother, you can create an adoption plan that best fits any and all needs you have for you and your baby. You can choose the type of adoption you want — open, semi-open or closed — and you can select your second child’s adoptive parents. You can also request to work with the same adoption caseworker, if you’d like.
What may change in a second adoption placement are the details within your adoption plan. For instance, if there’s anything you want to change, you can do that. Maybe your first child lives in a small town, and you’d like your second child to be raised in a city. Everything is entirely up to you!
Can I Place My Second Child with the Same Adoptive Family?
Many birth mothers wonder if their second child can be placed in the same adoptive family that adopted their first child. As an agency, if you choose to place another baby with us, we can definitely reach out to that adoptive family and ask. It’s our goal to keep siblings together as much as possible.
It’s important to remember, though, that the decision to adopt your second child is entirely up to the adoptive parents. We cannot make any other promises after we’ve made the call and asked them if they would be willing to have another member join their family. In many cases, adoptive families are more than happy to comply, and your children are able to grow up together. However, if the adoptive parents are unable to, we do our best to ensure that your children can, in the very least, maintain contact with each other.
What are the Emotions Behind a Second Placement?
There may be a familiarity to the adoption process in Colorado, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t still feel just as confused and stressed. Feeling complicated emotions when placing another baby with the same adoption agency is completely natural and to be expected. You may feel like you’re a failure, but you’re not. These emotions are negative and counterproductive towards your growth and the overall health of your child. Yet, it’s okay to feel and process. If you need to, remember that you can talk to an adoption counselor at any time throughout your adoption journey.
Talking is one of the most effective forms of therapy in itself, so that is why we encourage birth mothers to participate in our counseling service and support groups. If this is something that you have participated in during your first placement, then you know what the support and solidarity feels like and how it helps the grieving process. You may also have found a birth mother support group that was instrumental to you and helped you move forward. Even if the circumstances behind this adoption are entirely different, counseling and support resources are always available to you. It’s all about what makes you feel the safest when unpacking your emotions.
Is it Okay to be a Second Time Birth Mother?
Absolutely! There is nothing to be ashamed of if you find yourself placing another baby with the same adoption agency. Not all women are expected to be mothers, and if you are not in the place where you can be fully committed towards your child, then you do not have to be. You also may not be in a stable position financially or health-wise, and as such are not able to provide the best future for your child personally. Additionally, working with an adoption agency that is familiar can be a strong source of comfort, as you know what to expect.
Choosing the adoption process in Colorado as a birth mother is a labor of love. There are plenty of expectant mothers who are in the place where they are ready to parent, but they have not been fortunate enough to have a child of their own. They are willing and able to provide your child with the family life and stability that they deserve. This doesn’t mean that the decision to place a second child for adoption wasn’t an incredibly brave, loving, and selfless thing to do. No one should diminish that or try to project feelings of anger and disappointment on you.
You’re Not Alone in Your Adoption
Adoption Choices of Colorado’s entire goal is to surround our birth mothers with a positive staff that aims to support you and offer guidance and a willingness to explore all options. If you have worked with us before, you know that you will have just that. From the moment you begin your adoption journey with us, you won’t be alone.
It may feel like you’ve failed or that you’ve made the biggest mistake in the world — but you haven’t. You may not be able to fathom going through a grief process a second time, but it doesn’t make you any less of a birth mother to place another baby for adoption. You are certainly not a failure.You’re a human being who is learning and growing, and trying to do the best that she can for the child that she’s carrying. The adoption process is a complicated, multifaceted, highly emotional journey and it’s important that you respect yourself as the central part of it.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Katherine Burns is a journalism student at Loyola University Maryland with plans to pursue a career in the news and magazine industries. With over three years of experience writing for the Greyhound Newspaper at Loyola, Katherine specializes in Op-eds. However, she has recently branched out to cover a variety of topics, including education and sports journalism. She also has ample experience with travel blogging.
Katherine has conducted a variety of interviews in her time at Loyola and has displayed her stories through differing forms of media. In addition to her studies at Loyola, Katherine spent the fall of 2019 studying communications at the American University of Paris.To learn more about Katherine, be sure to check her out on social media.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!