Placing Another Baby with the Same Adoption Agency
Navigating an unplanned pregnancy once is complicated enough. If you are experiencing this a second time, it can be perfectly natural to wonder if the steps of the adoption process in Colorado are the same. It can be a confusing time, and dealing with those complicated emotions that can surround another pregnancy is challenging.
Let us reassure you. Adoption Choices of Colorado is more than happy to work with you again!
Will the Second Adoption Process Change at All from the First?
Whether you are a first time or second time birth mother, the adoption process remains very much the same. As a returning birth mother, however, there is a familiarity and previously established connection with the process, agency and staff, making you feel more confident and at ease right from the beginning.
The steps of the adoption process in Colorado itself will not change. As the birth mother, you can create an adoption plan that best fits any and all needs you have for you and your baby. You can choose the type of adoption you want — open, semi-open or closed — and you can select your second child’s adoptive parents. You can also request to work with the same adoption caseworker, if you’d like.
What may change in a second adoption placement are the details within your adoption plan. For instance, if there’s anything you want to change, you can do that. Maybe your first child lives in a small town, and you’d like your second child to be raised in a city. Everything is entirely up to you!
Can I Place My Second Child with the Same Adoptive Family?
Many birth mothers wonder if their second child can be placed in the same adoptive family that adopted their first child. As an agency, if you choose to place another baby with us, we can definitely reach out to that adoptive family and ask. It’s our goal to keep siblings together as much as possible.
It’s important to remember, though, that the decision to adopt your second child is entirely up to the adoptive parents. We cannot make any other promises after we’ve made the call and asked them if they would be willing to have another member join their family. In many cases, adoptive families are more than happy to comply, and your children are able to grow up together. However, if the adoptive parents are unable to, we do our best to ensure that your children can, in the very least, maintain contact with each other.
What are the Emotions Behind a Second Placement?
There may be a familiarity to the adoption process in Colorado, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t still feel just as confused and stressed. Feeling complicated emotions when placing another baby with the same adoption agency is completely natural and to be expected. You may feel like you’re a failure, but you’re not. These emotions are negative and counterproductive towards your growth and the overall health of your child. Yet, it’s okay to feel and process. If you need to, remember that you can talk to an adoption counselor at any time throughout your adoption journey.
Talking is one of the most effective forms of therapy in itself, so that is why we encourage birth mothers to participate in our counseling service and support groups. If this is something that you have participated in during your first placement, then you know what the support and solidarity feels like and how it helps the grieving process. You may also have found a birth mother support group that was instrumental to you and helped you move forward. Even if the circumstances behind this adoption are entirely different, counseling and support resources are always available to you. It’s all about what makes you feel the safest when unpacking your emotions.
Is it Okay to be a Second Time Birth Mother?
Absolutely! There is nothing to be ashamed of if you find yourself placing another baby with the same adoption agency. Not all women are expected to be mothers, and if you are not in the place where you can be fully committed towards your child, then you do not have to be. You also may not be in a stable position financially or health-wise, and as such are not able to provide the best future for your child personally. Additionally, working with an adoption agency that is familiar can be a strong source of comfort, as you know what to expect.
Choosing the adoption process in Colorado as a birth mother is a labor of love. There are plenty of expectant mothers who are in the place where they are ready to parent, but they have not been fortunate enough to have a child of their own. They are willing and able to provide your child with the family life and stability that they deserve. This doesn’t mean that the decision to place a second child for adoption wasn’t an incredibly brave, loving, and selfless thing to do. No one should diminish that or try to project feelings of anger and disappointment on you.
You’re Not Alone in Your Adoption
Adoption Choices of Colorado’s entire goal is to surround our birth mothers with a positive staff that aims to support you and offer guidance and a willingness to explore all options. If you have worked with us before, you know that you will have just that. From the moment you begin your adoption journey with us, you won’t be alone.
It may feel like you’ve failed or that you’ve made the biggest mistake in the world — but you haven’t. You may not be able to fathom going through a grief process a second time, but it doesn’t make you any less of a birth mother to place another baby for adoption. You are certainly not a failure.You’re a human being who is learning and growing, and trying to do the best that she can for the child that she’s carrying. The adoption process is a complicated, multifaceted, highly emotional journey and it’s important that you respect yourself as the central part of it.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Katherine Burns is a journalism student at Loyola University Maryland with plans to pursue a career in the news and magazine industries. With over three years of experience writing for the Greyhound Newspaper at Loyola, Katherine specializes in Op-eds. However, she has recently branched out to cover a variety of topics, including education and sports journalism. She also has ample experience with travel blogging.
Katherine has conducted a variety of interviews in her time at Loyola and has displayed her stories through differing forms of media. In addition to her studies at Loyola, Katherine spent the fall of 2019 studying communications at the American University of Paris.To learn more about Katherine, be sure to check her out on social media.