Our Adoption Story: Paul, Dave, and Amelia
Paul and Dave always knew they wanted a family. When they began their journey to becoming parents, they explored the many different ways they could start a family — including surrogacy and adoption. They eventually decided that adoption would be the best fit for them. Adoption allowed them to fulfill their desire to become parents, while simultaneously allowing them to build a connection with a birth mother and provide a home for a child that already existed versus having a biological child. They eventually matched with a birth mother, and the adoption of their daughter, Amelia, was finalized in January 2020. Now, Paul and Dave are hoping to grow their family once again and have recently applied to adopt for the second time.
While the start of their adoption journey was a little intimidating, given their uneasiness about home studies and other elements of the adoption process, their experience ended up being very positive. They had wonderful adoption caseworkers throughout the entire home study and adoption process, and were really able to determine who they wanted to be as parents.
Paul and Dave were originally unsure about the idea of an open adoption, but now have a fantastic relationship with Amelia’s birth mother and speak to her weekly – saying she’s like part of their family.
They want Amelia to “[a]lways have a way to understand herself and her identity…and never question her story [because] having that connection to her birth mother her better to know who she is and what her heritage is.”
When it comes to Amelia’s adoption story, things didn’t go as they had initially planned — but they are incredibly grateful. Instead of having a concrete plan in place when Amelia was born, they found themselves receiving a phone call that ended up with them holding Amelia in their arms two hours later. While they did not have a birth plan in place at the time, their situation worked because they had genuine respect for Amelia’s birth mother, and she had respect for them.
While the situation around Amelia’s birth may appear chaotic, it actually resulted in one of their favorite memories from their adoption journey – the four of them – Paul, Dave, Amelia and Amelia’s birth mom sleeping in the same hospital room the night Amelia was born. Being this close allowed them all to bond and become closer than they would have if the situation were different.
Paul and Dave also want to encourage birth mothers who are considering adoption.
Paul said, “you are able to get your child in a secure and loving home where they will be nurtured, grow, and hopefully succeed. You are placing someone that you care about in the arms of other people that care as much as you…”
Additionally, Dave advocated for open adoption, saying, “An open adoption allows you [as a birth parent] to grow your family as well. If you decide that you are not in a situation where you are able to provide what you would like for the child, and you place the child for adoption, of course, there is a big piece of loss with that, but you are also growing your family.”
Dave continued, “We are now part of Amelia’s birth mother’s family. With Amelia’s birth, her [birth mother’s] family grew by three, as opposed to one.”
Adoption Story Note to Birth Mothers
Paul, Dave and Amelia’s story is only one example of what your child’s adoption story might look like. We hope that this story encourages you and provides a sense of peace as you review prospective adoptive parents for your baby. If you have any questions or are ready to start your own adoption journey, please don’t hesitate to contact any of our Adoption Choices of Oklahoma staff members.
Adoption Choices of Oklahoma is a private adoption agency, licensed by the state of Oklahoma and leader in the adoption community. We have been assisting birth parents, children, and adoptive families in Oklahoma for over 19 years. Our staff members are committed to providing an ethical, empowering, and personalized adoption experience to all involved in the adoption process. If you are currently in the process of adopting a baby and have any questions or concerns, feel free tocontact us.
Toll-free: 800-898-6028 | OKC Local: 405-755-1999 | Tulsa Local: 918-447-7777 | Text: 405-310-8790 | Email
Meet the Author: Grace Myersis a sophomore digital media major at North Greenville University. She loves writing and hopes to pursue a career in journalism or public relations after graduating.
An adoptee herself, Grace is passionate about writing for adoption. She especially loves hearing adoption stories and getting to know a variety of people.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!