Open Adoption in a Transracial Adoption
There are many instances in the adoption world where two different groups from different racial backgrounds come together. You, as the birth mother, may have a racial heritage that you share with your child. On the other hand, your child’s potential adoptive family may have another racial heritage. It may seem a bit daunting at first to try and figure out how to share practices and cultures without awkwardly tripping up, but fear not! A lot of people have grown up squarely in one cultural experience and don’t have much experience dealing with others, so you are all in the same boat! Open adoption in a transracial adoption provides plenty of great ways to practice your communication skills.
As you probably know, race can still be a sensitive issue in the modern world, so Adoption Choices of Colorado is here to share some positive ways for you to interact stay informed:
How can I Help My Child Celebrate My Culture and Their Adoptive Family’s Culture?
We could talk all day (and probably longer) about all the different races, ethnicities, and cultures that may meet in a transracial open adoption, but because everyone’s situation is so unique, it’s best to talk more broadly. A good start is to work on being sensitive, or aware, of cultures other than your own. You can always refer to the great saying of “you should take a walk in someone else’s shoes.” Think about where people might have grown up, what they experienced, and why certain practices may be important to them. Ideally, you, as the birth mother would apply that thinking to your child’s adoptive family and they would apply that thinking to you.
The great thing about the adoption process for a birth mother is that gives you a fair amount of control. You get to select the adoptive family that you think will work best for your child. If you find people that share your values, that should help cultural dialogue immensely.
How can I Overcome Potential Language Barriers?
Speaking of dialogue, when it comes to open adoption in a transracial adoption, there’s a chance that you may have to communicate with an adoptive family that doesn’t speak the same language as you. Language barriers can be super frustrating, but there are ways to get around them. Depending on your financial situation, you could hire a translator.
In some cases, languages that are more rare in the United States may almost call out for you to find a translator as a solution to help the flow of communication. Still, this isn’t necessarily the most effective option. You can also use translation dictionaries, train yourself on language basics using apps and/or library resources, and other resources. However, it’s important to remember that not all digital translators are perfect, so there is a risk of the words you are trying to say losing their meaning. While gesturing wildly may get you somewhere, it will only get you so far, and you won’t be able to discuss more specific details with your child’s adoptive family.
How can I Positively Discuss Race With My Child and Their Adoptive Family?
Race is, of course, very complicated. Depending on the age of your child, you might not want to discuss certain things until they are older. However, you can do two things: brush up on the latest literature and set an example. There are a lot of strained topics out there, such as colonialism, imperialism, slavery, genocide, white privilege, white savior complexes, cultural appropriation, cultural erasure, implicit racial bias, racial prejudice, and just overall racial inequality as a whole. It may be tough to get through topics like that — it’s even tough to write about them, but, while you maybe shouldn’t lead with these particular concepts when talking to your child and their adoptive family about race, it never hurts to have knowledge for further down the road. We sometimes confuse comfort with safety — it may be uncomfortable to know about these topics, but you can learn about them safely, thus hopefully creating a safer environment for your child.
Open Adoption in a Transracial Adoption
Setting a good, empathetic example will probably be the best way to go initially. Show your child that people may look different and come from different places. They may celebrate different holidays and have different practices. However, all of them ultimately are very human. They laugh and they cry. They feel sadness and they feel joy. Despite differences, people are really very similar to each other when it comes down to basic needs. For that reason, as the wise and famous Civil Rights Leader, Martin Luther King Jr., once said, people should “not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Nathan Dyer is a university student majoring in Communication Arts with a radio/TV/film focus. He enjoys writing professionally and dealing with hands-on problems in real-world scenarios. Among his hobbies is hiking, which always encourages him to explore new places. He looks forward to crafting written materials in the future that serve to help people from all walks of life.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!