Myths about Intended Parents
When kindhearted women are considering becoming a gestational carrier, there are a lot of different things to know. For example, you have to look into whether or not you meet your state’s requirements, whether or not it may be a good fit for you, and much more. Another important thing for you to understand when you are thinking about becoming a gestational carrier is what kind of relationship you want to maintain with the intended parents you are matched with.
Although there is lots of different information available about gestational carrier and intended parent matches, there are also some common misconceptions that people may believe about intended parents. Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado is here to outline some of the key myths about intended parents, as well as some of the truths behind these myths.
Myths about Intended Parents
Some common myths (and truths) about intended parents include:
Myth #1: All intended parents are dealing with infertility
One of the most common misconceptions about intended parents is that all intended parents are in a similar situation dealing with infertility. While this is one valid reason that many intended parents may seek a gestational carrier to help achieve their dreams of having children, there are many cases of intended parent situations where infertility is not the reason they turned to gestational surrogacy.
Truth: Gestational carriers can help single parents and same sex couples as well
In addition to heterosexual couples, gestational carriers can help hopeful single parents and same sex couples and individuals as well. Helping intended parents who can’t otherwise have a family is, after all, largely the purpose of a gestational carrier. Single and same sex intended parents seek out gestational carriers for similar reasons that any other hopeful parent does — to have a child who is genetically related to them. They can donate their eggs and sperm respectively, utilize an egg and sperm bank for the missing piece and use IVF to help them experience the joy of children and family.
Myth #2: Intended parents determine all the terms of the gestational surrogacy
Many people may believe that since intended parents are the ones who will be the parents of the child, they have sole control of the details of the surrogacy. As a gestational carrier, this thought could be quite frightening. However, this conception is indeed a myth. Gestational carriers are able to negotiate surrogacy contracts with intended parents, and surrogacy agencies can help to ensure your rights are met.
Truth: Gestational carriers have a big say in the surrogacy process
Women who choose to become gestational carriers most likely already understand what it’s like to go through a pregnancy. Because of this, they understand the toll that pregnancy may take on them, and are able to negotiate key factors in the surrogacy contract that is established with intended parents. Surrogacy agencies like Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado can also help to ensure that gestational carriers have legal representation, medical care, and hands-on support throughout the entire surrogacy process. Therefore, if you are interested in becoming a gestational carrier, understand that your safety and needs throughout the process will be taken into account as well.
Myth #3: Intended parents will not have a strong bond to their child
When intended parents are considering gestational surrogacy as an option for their family’s needs, a common myth is that the intended parents will not have the same bond to their child because a gestational carrier is the one who carried the baby. As a gestational carrier, intended parents may express to you their concern about not carrying their own child. However, this factor does not mean that intended parents’ bond to their child will be any less valuable.
Truth: Intended parents usually have great parental bonds to their children
Oftentimes, intended parents have been hoping to have children for a while before they are actually able to. For this reason, they likely value the opportunity of having children that gestational carriers provide to them and nourish strong parental bonds with their children. If you are a gestational carrier working with intended parents who express concerns of not carrying their own child, a possible option to help alleviate their concerns is to keep a pregnancy journal throughout the duration of the pregnancy. After the baby is delivered, this journal could be a great, heartfelt gift to the intended parents.
Are You Interested in Becoming a Gestational Carrier?
While gestational surrogacy awareness has typically increased in recent years, there may still be some common misconceptions about intended parents. If you are seeking to become a gestational carrier, learning more about intended parents can help to debunk some of the common myths about intended parents and make the surrogacy process more familiar.
If you have questions about gestational carriers, or are a woman who is interested in becoming a gestational carrier, feel free to reach out to Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado. We are able help to ensure that you meet the requirements and will make sure you have legal representation, medical care, and hands-on support throughout the entire surrogacy process. We also have resources to help match gestational carriers with fitting intended parents. Your health and safety is our top priority, and we will ensure that you have the most positive surrogacy journey possible!
If you are interested in surrogacy and want to learn more about your options, contact Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Ashley Nies is an undergraduate student at Stanford University who is studying Human Biology and Political Science. Ashley is largely interested in various aspects of health and healthcare, and writes about these topics. She has taken classes on rhetoric, ethics and social media in health, as well as other creative writing classes during her freshman year at Stanford.
Ashley is from Las Vegas, Nevada, and considers herself to be fun-loving and adventurous. She values the importance of combining STEM with liberal arts education and hopes to integrate these in her writing.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!