Moving On After Birth and Adoption Finalization
By Kaitlyn Chrisemer
Adoption can be a difficult and emotional process. Many people get caught up in making their adoption plans and focus on the decisions that take place before birth. However, there are important plans to make after your private Colorado adoption. Although the adoption process can be overwhelming and take up your time during pregnancy, there are also important post-birth plans. A lot of the most difficult parts of adoption still linger or even intensify after the adoption is finalized. Getting back to “normal” life can be a real struggle for birth mothers. Adoption Choices of Colorado wants to help inform you about how you can make this transition easier for yourself.
If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption Choices of Colorado.
How to Get Back to Normal Life
It can be strange to think about your life after adoption finalization. Some birth mothers will have a more difficult time than others getting back to their so-called normal life. It’s important to recognize that pregnancy and placing a baby for adoption are large life changes. Sometimes birth mothers want to just go back to the way their life was before, as if nothing had happened. This can be emotionally harmful and rarely works out well. Here are some tips on moving on with your life after your private adoption in Colorado is finalized.
Acknowledge and Share Your Feelings
First and foremost, it’s incredibly important to acknowledge your feelings. Neglecting and bottling up your feelings is not healthy, especially after such a potentially traumatic experience. You may be dealing with a lot of strong negative emotions after your CO adoption is finalized. This is normal, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed of anything you may be feeling.
Another important part of taking care of your mental health is sharing your feelings. Whether this is with a loved one, one of our counselors from our adoption agency, or through journaling, it’s important. Remember that we are here for you even after your adoption is finalized. If you need help, don’t be afraid to reach out. You may not feel comfortable sharing these feelings with your loved ones. That’s okay. If you are comfortable talking to a counselor, reach out to us, and we can connect you with someone. Another alternative is to journal your feelings. Even just writing down what you feel can help relieve you of these negative emotions. Journaling can also help you work through what you’re feeling and better understand your emotions.
Explaining the Adoption Process to Loved Ones
One process that can be extremely difficult and continue to bring up negative feelings is explaining the process to others. Hopefully, most of your loved ones are already aware of your plans, but there are always some who aren’t. Extended family may not know the details of your unplanned pregnancy plan. Some may be confused when they see you after the pregnancy because you don’t have a child with you. They may be disoriented if they only heard of your pregnancy and not your adoption plan.
It can be difficult to share this personal decision with a lot of people. However, this process and questioning will likely continue until all your loved ones know. It may be easier to send a letter or email explaining your decision to place your baby for adoption. Although this may sound impersonal, if this sounds like the best option for you, don’t feel bad. You need to do what is best for you.
Getting Back to School, Work, or Hobbies
It can also be difficult to get back to school, work, or your hobbies from pre-pregnancy. There may be people in these areas of your life asking about your pregnancy and the baby. Again, do what is best for you in these situations. Although it may be difficult to get yourself to go out and about, it will be good for you.
During your pregnancy, you may want to come up with a post-pregnancy plan as well as an adoption plan. If you compile a list of things you want to do after birth, you can keep busy. This will help you adjust and move forward with your life. It may be difficult to get back to school, work or hobbies, but this will help you adjust.
Adjusting to Life After Adoption
If you need help adjusting to life after your adoption is finalized, Adoption Choices of Colorado can help. Don’t be afraid to reach out. We are here for you throughout your entire journey, even after finalization. We can help you at any point in your adoption journey anywhere in Colorado.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!