5 Misconceptions About Colorado Birth Mothers
By Nicole Hatton
As a birth mother, you may be experiencing a mix of emotions while thinking about your next steps. Deciding what you should do with your baby can be extremely difficult, especially when facing judgments from others. However, if you do not wish to parent, that is completely OK. You’re probably considering adoption and thinking about how to make an adoption plan. Facing an unplanned pregnancy can seem scary, but the adoption process is less overwhelming with adoption agencies such as Adoption Choices of Colorado at your side. Here are 5 misconceptions about Colorado birth mothers and what you can do next!
1. Birth Mothers Are Selfish For Giving Their Child Up For Adoption
Making the decision to become a parent is one that requires much thought and time. Choosing to focus on yourself instead of caring for a baby as well is not selfish. Many birth mothers feel guilty due to conflicting emotions and stereotypes. The truth is, adoption may be the best choice for both the mother and baby. Sometimes, your child may develop or thrive quicker without you as their parent. If that is the case, you shouldn’t feel pressured to take on the responsibility and stress of being a parent. The last thing you should feel is ashamed for seeking out how to give your baby up for adoption. Making this decision in the best interest of your child shows that you are considerate, caring, and loving.
2. Birth Mothers Lose Connection With Their Adopted Child
If you still want to be a part of your child’s life, then you can keep in contact with them! A common misconception in American adoptions is that birth mothers never want to see their child again. However, there are a few different adoption options that you can do. Some birth mothers opt for a closed adoption, but it’s your decision to do that or not. You can do a closed, open, or semi-open adoption.
Many think that the child will resent the birth mother for giving them up, but this isn’t always the case. Birth mothers choose adoption for different reasons. It doesn’t mean that you have to cut ties if you don’t want to. Having some kind of ongoing contact can help you learn how to support your child or connect with them. In fact, you can also share reasons for choosing adoption for your baby if you would like. You can exchange letters, photos, and stories with the adoptive family. Even if you want to have a closed adoption, there are still numerous adoption agencies in Colorado you can trust.
3. Birth Mothers Are Always Teenagers
Although teenagers can become pregnant and don’t want the baby, that doesn’t mean older women can’t be in the same situation. Birth mothers come from a variety of different backgrounds and ages. You can be single, married, divorced, dating, or have other circumstances. Just because some teenage girls seek adoption options after an unplanned pregnancy, that doesn’t mean most birth mothers are teenage girls. Every woman embarks on their own adoption journey and will have their personal reasons for choosing adoption. Some may choose adoption for financial reasons, educational/career goals, or simply have second thoughts or other personal matters.
4. Choosing Adoption Is An Easy Decision
Adoption is an important decision that becomes final after making the call to do so. It’s not simply saying, “I’ll just have an adoption for my baby because I can’t have it,” and be done. Thinking about your adoption plan, adoptive family, child’s life, staying connected or not, parenting, and other concerns are a lot to take in. Additionally, it’s valid to experience a mix of emotions such as grief, loss, regret, confusion, and more. Pregnant women may also develop a relationship with their baby before giving birth, which can make adoption even more difficult.
5. Birth Mothers Have to Go Through This Alone
You are never alone. Even if you don’t have a network of close family and friends, you have support with adoption in Colorado. You can receive free counseling from Adoption Choices of Colorado before, during, and after giving birth. The birth father can also receive free counseling. Additionally, you can join a support group with Adoption Choices of Colorado. These groups are here for you to discuss your feelings, experiences and support one another after placement. It does not matter how late ago you delivered your baby. You can join a support group at any time! Adoption Choices of Colorado also has adoption resources on a wide variety of topics to help you.
What To Do After Placement
Now that you have a better understanding of misconceptions surrounding birth mothers, it’s essential to reject these stereotypes or judgments. Remember that you are not the negative assumptions that others may make about you. Give yourself some time to feel your emotions and process your thoughts. Take care of yourself, and know that there is plenty of help available from adoption agencies in Colorado. If you haven’t told the birth father yet, agencies like Adoption Choices of Colorado can help you. If the birth father already knows, consider having a discussion with him about what you want to do. Don’t hesitate to call, text, or look into different adoption resources. American adoptions don’t have to be as scary or daunting with us at your side. Know that everything will turn out alright. You, the birth father, and your baby will be supported every step of the way.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!