Life for Birth Parents After Adoption
By Jonathan Tick
Some birth parents may not think about what to do after they’re done with the adoption process. Giving a baby up for adoption often becomes the only important thing at the moment. So much so that anything after that, thinking about what to do afterward, becomes a secondary afterthought. Some birth parents may even be scared about thinking about what happens afterward. At Adoption Choices of Colorado, our adoption agencies want to help support you through the stress of adoption. This can extend to the period after adoption when some birth parents aren’t sure what the next step should be. To combat this, here’re a few things to consider after you’ve finished your adoption journey. And now it’s ok to choose to go down certain paths or cope in certain ways. Even if you think it’s wrong to process your emotions in that fashion.
If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption Choices of Colorado.
Relationship with Your Child After the Adoption
Some birth parents may struggle to come to terms with their adoption initially. The misconception about approaching an adoption agency is that choosing adoption means saying goodbye forever. While those kinds of adoptions can exist, most adoptions these days fall under the umbrella of ‘open adoption .’Meaning that the baby will still have some form of connection to their birth parents. Even if they’re not being raised by them directly.
Pursuing open adoption can be a great way to alleviate those post-adoption woes. You can decide in the middle of your adoption plan whether or not you want to pursue this path. And if you do, a line of communication decided between you and your child’s adoptive parents can be opened up. Simply going up to one of our adoption agencies in Colorado will let you view messages and send or receive gifts to your child. Many birth parents choose this method as it lets them see how their child is doing. It can give them peace of mind about the situation. And can be a way to help birth parents move on from their adoption woes or feelings.
Post-Placement Counseling
Adoption Choices of Colorado offers a selection of services similar to your adoption plan once the baby has been born. After giving your baby up for adoption, unexpected feelings or lingering grief can come about. So our adoption options allow for birth parents to receive similar services to their adoption plan until they recover. This includes various individual or family therapy forms to help air out grievances.
Talking through those tough emotions can be a great way to cope and come to terms with the adoption. It’s ok to feel this way. It’s encouraged as it can allow birth parents a way to move on once everything’s been said and done. Our adoption agencies in Colorado want to make sure that all birth parents are ready for what’s ahead, which is why these services are offered for a few months after the baby has been born as it’s a way to give parents the time they deserve and the space that they need. Talk to your adoption specialist if you’re curious about what else can be offered. They should be able to lay out a wide array of counseling options for you to get the help you need.
Future After Adoption
Deciding what to do next after adoption can be difficult. And while Adoption Choices of Colorado can help, ultimately, the decision is up to you. For some, moving on can be easy. But for others, pursuing things like a family after the process can be really difficult to do. For any birth parents in those shoes, a suggestion could be to recollect why you chose adoption in the first place.
Birth parents choose adoption for all sorts of reasons. Perhaps they were too young or ill-prepared to raise a child. Or they were in a relationship or situation that was not a good environment to raise a baby. Reminding yourself of why you sought out adoption options can be key in relieving you of any guilt. Maybe check back with your baby if you choose open adoption during your adoption journey. And remind yourself that you were the one responsible for your child’s current bright, happy future. These can be great ways to remind yourself that you have nothing to be guilty of. It should empower you more for what’s to come. Choosing to start a family shows that you’re more confident in your ability to be a parent and caretaker. And comparatively, you’re in a much better place now than when you started your adoption journey.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!