Some Important Lessons Taught By Adoption
There are many aspects of adoption that can’t be measured or quantified; so many things that no one can prepare you for. It is not hard to find an abundance of anecdotal stories from adoptive parents and children that showcase the ups and downs of becoming a family through adoption. However, you and your family’s story will not be like anyone else’s.
The child that you have made a part of your family is unique, as are you and your circumstances. Through the roller-coaster of emotions and experiences, you’ll soon realize that adoption is one of the most fulfilling and beautiful journeys that you will ever go through.
Here are 3 very important things to remember through it all!
You’ve made the right decision.
While doubt can creep up on all of us, adoptive parents often face an extra layer of it. Parents who want to do the best for their children can look at any missteps as a telltale sign that they have made some unforgivable mistake.
There is no such thing as the perfect parent. Despite how it may seem, everyone is simply just doing their best, sometimes the result is picture perfect and sometimes a little less so. Your family doesn’t depend on you to be perfect, the best thing that you can do for your family is to be present, loving, and caring. Oscar Wilde has an excellent take on the subject. He writes: “Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.”
Your family is real.
The bonds of love and family go much deeper than a biology. One of the great miracles of life is the fact that we are able to love others regardless of the differences between us. The child that you add to your family, is just as much your child as anyone else’s.
Nothing is going to prepare you for the rush you feel when your child first tells you that they love you. It isn’t something that you can explain to an overly-curious stranger at the mall. It’s an indescribable feeling that belongs to your family alone. You don’t need to prove it to anyone.
This is the connection of a lifetime.
Adoption is based on uncertainty, there are many factors that are simply out of your control. Even after the adoption is finalized, you may still face a nagging fear that somehow your child will be taken from you. Time will help to ease this fear and you will grow comfortable in the knowledge the family you started is permanent.
You have created a family from scratch and just like any other family, those bonds will last a lifetime. You will experience the peaks and valleys that any family faces. You will never be prepared for all of the wonderful things that happen when your family grows through adoption.
The truth is that being a family isn’t always easy, but it is always rewarding.