Fortunately for me I was no stranger to adoption. I was adopted and my mother, my sister and my aunt have all placed a baby for adoption. It didn’t make my decision any easier, I was just more familiar with the process. I knew a lot more clearly than some, that placing your baby for adoption doesn’t mean giving up on your baby, it just means you want a better life for your baby.
In 2003 I found out I was pregnant with my third child. I was already going through so much, the thought of having another child was so scary. I knew almost immediately I was going to place the baby for adoption. I began searching for an agency. I knew this adoption was going to go my way or it wasn’t going to go at all. I fired 4 adoption agencies and was beginning to lose hope when I found Adoption Choices. I met Christy and she was simply amazing. She was really the only person I had at that point in my life and without her I would have been so lost. I told her what I was looking for in a family and she heard me very clearly. I found my adoptive family in the first stack of profiles she brought me and I was so eager to meet them. Of course, there was a process but I was ready to get the ball rolling. I knew that I wouldn’t change my mind, there was no going back. All of my children deserved so much better and I was determined to make that happen. I wanted my adoptive parents to feel as comfortable with me as possible and I wanted them to trust me. I wanted them to know there was no changing my mind and that their dream of becoming parents was so very real.
It was a great feeling knowing he was going to get the life he deserved and knowing two people were making their dreams become a reality.
There has never been a day that I wish I had done something different. I have zero regrets in placing my son for adoption. It has been wonderful to see the little man he’s become and I am so proud of the parents they are. He is so blessed and lucky to have them. They thank me all the time for the gift of a child but I thank them for the gifts they’ve given my child. I could have never given him the life he has and I know that. It may not always be an easy thing to accept, it’s a pride issue, I guess. But sometimes swallowing your pride for the sake of someone else and making selfless decisions, is just part of life. They can often be some of the hardest decisions you’ll ever make but if it’s to the greater good of someone or something else then how can that be wrong?
I have no doubt that some of you may feel like placing your baby for adoption is giving up on them. I think it’s the exact opposite. For one, you’re giving your baby a chance at life. You have either decided against abortion or are simply evaluating ALL of your options. Any way you go, it is a life long decision you MUST be sure about and NONE of them are easy choices. You have such a short time to decide the fate of your baby. It’s not easy. Trust me! I know each one of you are going through something so personal that no one can know EXACTLY what you are going through. It can be a lonely, scary and desperate feeling but you are NOT alone.
I remember so many people trying to tell me what I should or shouldn’t be doing. What I should or shouldn’t be feeling. But, NONE of these people had been through what I’ve been through. It’s frustrating when someone is trying to tell you they know what you’re going through when they have no idea. All I ask for you, as a birth mom, is to consider what is best for you and your baby. Picture your life, and is it something you want to bring a baby into? Ask yourself and be honest, do you have the financial means to raise a child comfortably? No, it’s not about money but don’t you want your baby to have the best life possible?