I’m Pregnant: Now What? First Steps for Expectant Woman Facing an Unplanned Pregnancy
An unplanned pregnancy is very stressful. It is natural to feel overwhelmed, frightened, and alone. Remember that many other women have been through this exact same thing and that there are countless resources and support options to get you through this difficult and confusing time. It is also natural to feel okay about your decision to choose adoption and feel comfortable with moving forward in placing your baby for adoption.
As a prospective birth mother, you might find your head spinning with thoughts and emotions regarding what steps to take once you find out you’re pregnant. You’ve come to the right place! We are going to discuss a few simple first steps for women facing an unexpected pregnancy.
1. Schedule an Appointment with Your OBGYN
One of the first steps for women facing an unplanned pregnancy is to seek out a qualified and supportive OBGYN who can confirm that you are pregnant and conduct a physical exam to ensure that you are not at any health risks. It’s important to know whether pregnancy will potentially be a health hazard to you or your baby because this may impact your choice going forward.
Finding an OBGYN who is nonjudgmental and supports your personal choice and autonomy is key. The last thing you need in this overwhelming time is judgment or someone trying to insert their opinion of what’s best for you. If you are worried about being able to cover healthcare costs, consider utilizing local health clinics or resources for care or referrals.
2. Seek Out Counseling to Help You Process
Finding out you are unexpectedly pregnant usually comes with a host of difficult thoughts and feelings. It is important to find what works best for you in terms of processing and accepting your situation. Although each birth mother will have a different way of doing this, we are here to support you no matter what.
Adoption Choices of Colorado offers free counseling services to any women facing unplanned pregnancy, even if they have not yet decided if adoption is the choice for them. Our trained and qualified professionals have experience working with other women who are going through similar struggles and will provide a supportive, compassionate ear. Unplanned pregnancy counseling can be a great place for even the most independent and self-sufficient individuals to voice their questions, concerns, conflicting thoughts, and feelings. Counseling for pregnant women in Colorado can also be a place to receive education on the options available to you, and provide an opportunity to go through the pros and cons of each choice.
3. Educate Yourself on Your Options
Adoption Choices of Colorado believes that informing birth mothers about all their options is key. This is why we are here to provide the three available options you have when facing an unplanned pregnancy. We want you to feel empowered by your choice, and to make as much information as possible to make the most well-informed decision.
- Abortion: Many women facing unplanned pregnancies choose abortion. This may be for many different reasons and any or all are valid. It is important to consider costs and emotional and physical well-being. Research clinics and payment options ahead of time, and remember it’s okay to have mixed emotions. Many women who know abortion was the right choice for them still benefit from seeking out support and counseling services. It’s okay to practice self-care in whatever ways you need to.
- Keeping your Child: Some women might decide that they want to keep their child. If you are thinking about becoming a parent, it is important to look at your finances, social support system, and life goals. It is both totally okay to want children at some point but not be ready yet, and to decide that you want to commit to all the joys and responsibilities of motherhood.
- Adoption: Adoption allows you to have another option. Adoptions can be closed, semi-open, or open. Open adoptions allow you to be an adult figure in your child’s life and witness them grow up without taking on the role of primary provider. If you decide this is the choice for you, we will provide you with services and support during and after this process, so that you and your child can have the most positive adoption journey possible.
4. Gathering Your Support Network
Facing an unplanned pregnancy is overwhelming in so many ways. It is important to reach out to any community support you have during this time. This may be a partner or spouse, coworkers, family, or friends. Even one person who you can call to talk with or grab coffee together can make a world of difference.
Our adoption agency in Colorado is here to be one of those community support, and we encourage you to remember that human beings need social support in their lives to get through hard times. Utilize your community and know that just as you’d want to be there for them when they’re going through something, they want to support you too.
I’m Pregnant. Now what?
This may be a stressful time, but taking steps to determine what is best for you when you are facing an unexpected pregnancy is a great way to get started. No matter what you choose, know that you are loved, worthy and supported in this journey. Many women face unplanned pregnancies. The only “right” choice is the one that’s best for you. Take things one step at a time and utilize our free adoption counselors for more support and information on what to do next!
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Kara Bringewatt is an English major and psychology minor at Queens University of Charlotte. She plans to get her masters in social work and work at a nonprofit as a case manager for at-risk youth. She loves using writing as a means of creating community and bringing attention to causes she’s passionate about.
Kara is particularly interested in educational and mental health interventions for young people in foster care. She’s worked as a tutor, professional caregiver, preschool teacher and acting instructor, and loves being able to utilize her wide range of passions to support young people and plans on being a foster and adoptive parent.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!