I’m a Birth Mother in Colorado; How Do I Cope with Mother’s Day?
After an unplanned pregnancy, choosing adoption in Colorado, and now being a birth mother, Mother’s Day may be a sensitive day for you. Whatever you are feeling about the upcoming holiday, it is valid. It is okay to be sad or feel guilt or regret. Whatever emotion you are feeling is natural. It is okay if you are missing your child and wish you could be with them for a day that celebrates you.
You birthed your child, and you are a mother, but you are not their parent, so Mother’s Day may give you all different kinds of emotions. Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate mothers and all their accomplishments they’ve made. You are a mother, but only a birth mother. So how do you cope with Mother’s Day?
Here at Adoption Choices of Colorado, we want you to have a way to cope on Mother’s Day as a birth mother. We know how hard it is to go through a holiday where you’re supposed to be appreciated for being a mother, but no one knows what your situation is. You are not alone in this feeling either.
If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption Choices of Colorado.
Have a Support System for Adoption Plan CO
Find a group on a social media platform that is full of birth mothers. If you can’t find one, create one. Make a group chat with birth mothers in a similar situation as you and spend the day chatting with them and sharing your stories. Spend time with them and have that support system who is there to listen to all of the emotions you are feeling. Having a support system who is right by your side all day, even from a distance, is a great help for a birth mother to cope on Mother’s Day.
Surround yourself with birth mothers who are in a similar situation as you. You will be able to have support and you can support other people, too. Whether you are a new birth mother or have been a birth mother for a few years, you are still going to need that support system. Mother’s Day is a very triggering day for many birth mothers. It is a day where you may be very sensitive, and that is okay.
Another great support system is your family and friends that know about what you are going through. Having an outside support system from people who have never been in your situation is helpful because they can be a shoulder to cry on and a wonderful listener. They will be able to give you unbiased support because they’ve never been in the same situation as you.
Here at Adoption Choices of Colorado, we have post-placement counseling, and if you need someone that day, we will be here for you. We don’t ever want you to feel alone because you are not alone. There are so many other birth mothers in your same situation, and we know how challenging this holiday may be for you.
Understand that Mother’s Day will be a Hard Day
You might want to just go about your day like normal, but you have to remember that it can be a hard day. You may be a new birth mother, or this may be your fifth Mother’s Day as a birth mother. It doesn’t matter how long you have been a birth mother, and you may have a hard day. No matter what you are feeling on the holiday, remember that your adoption decision was the best for you and your child. No matter if you are grieving over your adopted child or sad that you can’t get that appreciation from them, depending on the type of adoption you chose or anyone.
Remember that it is just one day, but if you have bad feelings about this day for more than just the one day, that is okay. There will be Mother’s Day commercials, sale signs in front of businesses on your drives to work, and passing conversations about what people want to do for their mother’s on the special holiday. It will be hard to stay away from every mention of Mother’s Day but know that you are not alone.
After Adoption, How Will You Spend Mother’s Day?
No matter how you spend Mother’s Day, remember that you are not alone. Find or create a support group, surround yourself with friends and family who know about your situation. On a really hard day like this, making sure that you are not alone is important, even if that is one friend or family member or another birth mother. Having that support system, large or small, around you will be very beneficial.
Being a birth mother is hard, so coping with a holiday that celebrates mothers all over the country will be difficult. Remember that you are not alone and that there are people who are here for you. The way that you cope with Mother’s Day may be different than another birth mother’s way of coping, and that is completely okay. Whatever you do to help yourself cope on Mother’s Day is valid.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Molly Allington is an aspiring author born and raised in Syracuse, New York. When she’s not watching her latest Netflix obsession, you can find her nose deep in a book or in her writing. She has been writing books since she was twelve and is in the process of trying to get her finished books published. Molly has a BA in Creative Writing from Southern New Hampshire University. With her writing, she is hoping to share supportive information and help as many people as possible. Once she starts her own family, she is wanting to adopt.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!