What If The Adoptive Family Doesn’t Love Them As Their Own?

Expectant mothers considering adoption have a lot to think about. Worries and concerns about what happens to your baby after placement is completely normal. You might ask yourself:  If I place my baby what if the adoptive family doesn’t love them as their own? Choosing not to raise your child does not invalidate the love and care you feel for him or her. Adoption is a choice made out of love, not selfishness. If you’re a pregnant woman considering adoption in Colorado, contact us at Adoption Choices of Colorado. We’re here to answer your questions, address concerns, and provide as much information as possible about the adoption process.

  • Colorado Adoptions

As the birth mother, you have full control of the adoption process. This includes choosing the type of adoption, adoptive family, birth plan, and all other details you want to document in your adoption plan. Although you may feel you have to rush through all of the specifics, it is best to take your time deciding what you’d like your child’s future life to look like. Talking it through with your adoption professional or other birth mothers is a wonderful way to accumulate insight that can help you decide what is important to you personally.

Modern adoptions are mostly open or semi-open meaning you and the birth father, if he is involved, will remain in your child’s life. In open adoptions, communication can be achieved through phone calls, face-to-face time, skype calls, or letters. As the birth mother, it is up to you to decide how you want communication with your child to go. These details will be placed in your adoption plan. This allows your adoption professional to match proper prospective adoptive families based on your communication requests.

Semi-open adoption differs by having a third party facilitate the communication. In most cases, the adoption agency will act as the middle man between yourself and the adoptive family but there is the option to use lawyers as well. Letters, pictures, and anything else will be given to the third party and then transferred over to the adoptive family or to you. This allows privacy to the family and to you but keeps a pillar of trust and connection between yourself and your child after placement.

Closed adoptions are adoption where there is no communication between you and your child post-placement. Each birth mother’s experience and needs are different. If you decide a closed adoption is what is best for both you and your child there is no shame in going that route. Sometimes, closed adoption is the healthiest choice for you and your child.

  • The Adoptive Family

Regardless of the choice, placing your child with an adoptive family can still bring up doubts. These feelings are completely valid and you should not bottle them up. Adoption agencies in Colorado can help you by providing resources for therapy to help you during the adoption process. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Talking through your emotions and fears, such as post-placement fears, is important for healing after placement.

Screening prospective adoptive families is a major component of the adoption process. Birth mothers are completely in control when it comes to choosing the adoptive family. Prospective families will sometimes send books to the birth mother that display photos, information about them, family history, and details about their lives. Interviewing and getting to know the adoptive family is another factor that helps birth mothers feel comfortable in their choice.

You can select adoptive families that have children, don’t have their own children, or have other adoptive children. If you’re worried about the prospective families not loving your child as their own it may benefit you to interview families that have already adopted other children. Seeing how they interact with their other adoptive child or children can give you a picture of what their child’s life will look like.

The relationship between yourself and the possible adoptive family is founded on trust and communication. If you believe you’ve found the adoptive family but want to continue to get to know them before placement you are absolutely able to! You can go through the adoption professional to facilitate time with them or any other communication. In the end, if you end up changing your mind before the baby is born you have the right to do so.

The Adoptive Family and Your Adoption Process in Colorado

Are you considering adoption in Colorado? Let us guide you through the process and lend a helping hand during this time in your life. You are creating a great life for your child by finding a family that will love and cherish your child. Fearing that the adoptive family won’t love your child properly is a natural reaction some birth mothers experience. We can help you choose the best adoptive family for your child and work through any fears or concerns you have. 

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