I Don’t Feel Guilty about Placing My Baby for Adoption, Is Something Wrong with Me?

By Kaitlyn Chrisemer

If you’re considering adoption for your baby, you may have a lot of fears and worries surrounding the topic. You may worry about your feelings after giving your baby up for adoption. Many birth mothers are hesitant to choose adoption because they’re afraid they’ll feel guilty about their decision later in life. However, some women are scared they’ll feel joy or relief after their adoption is finalized. 

This may not sound bad – a birth mother being happy with her decision to place her baby for adoption. Yet, feeling happiness after adoption finalization can also lead to feelings of guilt. It may make a birth mother feel like she is a bad person. Unfortunately, many people believe that birth mothers should feel bad for putting their children up for adoption. They think that if birth mothers feel anything but guilt, regret, and sadness, they’re selfish and heartless. However, this is not at all the case. Adoption Choices of Colorado wants to help end this way of thinking. 

If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption Choices of Colorado.

Why You Chose Adoption

As a start, we want you to remember why you chose adoption for your baby. Adoption isn’t the only option when it comes to an unplanned pregnancy. Although adoption is an emotionally strenuous process, you decided to go through the adoption process. You made all the tough decisions – closed or open adoption, adoption plan, adoptive family, hospital plan, etc. 

You made this decision out of love and caring for your child. You acknowledged and understood that your child could have a better life with another family. Remember that you believed adoption was the best option for you and your child. 

Why You Might Feel Relief or Joy after Adoption

Yes, you may feel a sense of relief after your adoption is finalized. You may even feel joy. However, do not let yourself turn those feelings around and cause guilt. Allow yourself to feel whatever you need without judgment from yourself or others. At our adoption agencies in Colorado, we deal with all different kinds of birth mothers. Each adoption is unique and brings its own emotions with it. 

You may feel happy or relieved after your adoption placement. This is okay. An unplanned pregnancy is a big life change requiring much thought and sudden action. Creating an adoption plan and making all these decisions can take up much of your emotional energy. Once the journey is finally over, it’s okay to feel relieved. 

Additionally, relief may indicate how much you care about your child – although it may sound counterintuitive. You may feel relief because you’re comfortable with the placement and are confident that your child is safe. Especially if yours is an open adoption and you see your child with their adoptive family, feeling relief is normal. Being able to see that your child is loved and cared for can cause feelings of joy and relief to come up. Don’t let anyone’s judgment or preconceived notions make you second-guess your feelings. No matter what you feel, it’s okay that you feel that way. 

No, Nothing is Wrong with You for Choosing Adoption

Even if you don’t think your relief comes purely from knowing your child is safe, it’s okay. If you feel happy after your adoption is finalized, nothing is wrong with you. The adoption process can be a long and difficult one. You may just feel relief that it is over. It’s also okay if you feel relieved because you can get back to your life now that the baby is gone. We understand that you had a life before you got pregnant. You should be able to have a life after as well. 

Don’t feel guilty because of your decision based on what would be best for you and your child. It’s okay to feel relieved that this emotionally distressing time in your life is over. Nothing is wrong with you regardless of what emotions you feel after adoption finalization. 

Life After Adoption

If you feel relief after your adoption, you’re likely to be able to adjust to life after adoption more easily. Remember to keep track of your feelings and reach out for help if you begin to notice a downward trend. Adoption Choices of Colorado is always here to help you with anything adoption-related. 

If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.

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