How to Choose a Transracial Adoptive Family as a Birth Mother
Transracial adoptions are more common than you might think, especially in a country as diverse as the United States. We are often described as a “melting pot” because of our many different backgrounds, and it is a big part of our national heritage. With our rich cultural history in mind, some birth mothers wish for their child to be placed with an adoptive family who may not share their skin color.
This is completely okay! At Adoption Choices of Colorado, we will help you navigate this decision to make the adoption process go as smoothly as possible. Figuring out how to choose a transracial adoptive family does not have to be an overwhelming task in the slightest.
How Should I Educate Myself about Another Culture?
As you probably know, race can be a very sensitive topic. It’s important to remember that people come from a variety of different life paths and may have views different from your own. But that’s okay! Differences aren’t always a bad thing — sometimes differences mean there is more to educate yourself on. That is very true in the context of race. When in doubt, try to take a walk in someone else’s shoes as best as you can.
There’s a lot of tough topics out there related to race, such as colonialism, imperialism, slavery, white privilege, white savior complexes, implicit bias, and more. It may be challenging, but brushing up on the latest literature can be very beneficial to make sure that you are considerate, respectful, and aware of cultures that you may not have grown up with during your early years. Though picking an adoptive family is not akin to a Build-A-Bear Workshop, and you don’t get to handpick every detail about them, if you are looking for an adoptive family with a certain cultural background, it’s best to focus on studying the particular information that might apply to their experiences and history. There’s nothing wrong with being accepting. Knowledge and care will take you very far when it comes to discussing race as a whole.
How do I Actually Pick a Transracial Adoptive Family?
At the end of the day, you want an adoptive family who shares your values and you shouldn’t pick them just for their race of cultural practices. Being on the same page is important, especially when it comes to how you want your child to be raised. That’s why Adoption Choices of Colorado makes the entire selection process more manageable. Every potential adoptive family goes through a series of screenings before their information is brought before you. Every family is presented in easily-digestible, scrapbook-like form for your convenience. As a personal touch, every family also includes a “Dear Birth Mother” letter to really try and connect with you. If the family wishes, they can describe their heritage more in a way that may provide additional help for you when you are thinking about how to choose a transracial adoptive family.
How can I Teach My Child about Race Positively?
If you choose an open adoption, you have the option to schedule times with your child’s adoptive family to visit. While the raising of your child is left up to the adoptive parents, communication is key and can be extremely beneficial for every party involved. While race has a lot of intensity to it as a discussion topic, you can talk to your child in a less intense way and still make the experience positive.
As mentioned before, there’s nothing wrong with being accepting. People may not all look the same or have the same practices, but as long as they are kindhearted and human at the core, all of our many differences are outweighed by our commonalities. You can absolutely find ways to teach your child to be aware without going full-blown scholar on them.
If I Need Additional Help with Adoption, Where Should I Go?
Fortunately, we live in the age of the internet, so a lot of information that may have previously been hard to find or totally inaccessible is right at your fingertips! You can absolutely search specific adoption questions that you have or even specific transracial adoption questions. Just make sure you check credible sources.
Adoption Choices of Colorado has plenty of resources and even offers free counseling for you and your loved ones when you go through the adoption process. Whatever you decide, we will be here to help you on your journey from the beginning. We hope this was an informative way to help guide you towards how to choose a transracial adoptive family.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Nathan Dyer is a university student majoring in Communication Arts with a radio/TV/film focus. He enjoys writing professionally and dealing with hands-on problems in real-world scenarios. Among his hobbies is hiking, which always encourages him to explore new places. He looks forward to crafting written materials in the future that serve to help people from all walks of life.