How to Choose a Transracial Adoptive Family as a Birth Mother
Transracial adoptions are more common than you might think, especially in a country as diverse as the United States. We are often described as a “melting pot” because of our many different backgrounds, and it is a big part of our national heritage. With our rich cultural history in mind, some birth mothers wish for their child to be placed with an adoptive family who may not share their skin color.
This is completely okay! At Adoption Choices of Colorado, we will help you navigate this decision to make the adoption process go as smoothly as possible. Figuring out how to choose a transracial adoptive family does not have to be an overwhelming task in the slightest.
How Should I Educate Myself about Another Culture?
As you probably know, race can be a very sensitive topic. It’s important to remember that people come from a variety of different life paths and may have views different from your own. But that’s okay! Differences aren’t always a bad thing — sometimes differences mean there is more to educate yourself on. That is very true in the context of race. When in doubt, try to take a walk in someone else’s shoes as best as you can.
There’s a lot of tough topics out there related to race, such as colonialism, imperialism, slavery, white privilege, white savior complexes, implicit bias, and more. It may be challenging, but brushing up on the latest literature can be very beneficial to make sure that you are considerate, respectful, and aware of cultures that you may not have grown up with during your early years. Though picking an adoptive family is not akin to a Build-A-Bear Workshop, and you don’t get to handpick every detail about them, if you are looking for an adoptive family with a certain cultural background, it’s best to focus on studying the particular information that might apply to their experiences and history. There’s nothing wrong with being accepting. Knowledge and care will take you very far when it comes to discussing race as a whole.
How do I Actually Pick a Transracial Adoptive Family?
At the end of the day, you want an adoptive family who shares your values and you shouldn’t pick them just for their race of cultural practices. Being on the same page is important, especially when it comes to how you want your child to be raised. That’s why Adoption Choices of Colorado makes the entire selection process more manageable. Every potential adoptive family goes through a series of screenings before their information is brought before you. Every family is presented in easily-digestible, scrapbook-like form for your convenience. As a personal touch, every family also includes a “Dear Birth Mother” letter to really try and connect with you. If the family wishes, they can describe their heritage more in a way that may provide additional help for you when you are thinking about how to choose a transracial adoptive family.
How can I Teach My Child about Race Positively?
If you choose an open adoption, you have the option to schedule times with your child’s adoptive family to visit. While the raising of your child is left up to the adoptive parents, communication is key and can be extremely beneficial for every party involved. While race has a lot of intensity to it as a discussion topic, you can talk to your child in a less intense way and still make the experience positive.
As mentioned before, there’s nothing wrong with being accepting. People may not all look the same or have the same practices, but as long as they are kindhearted and human at the core, all of our many differences are outweighed by our commonalities. You can absolutely find ways to teach your child to be aware without going full-blown scholar on them.
If I Need Additional Help with Adoption, Where Should I Go?
Fortunately, we live in the age of the internet, so a lot of information that may have previously been hard to find or totally inaccessible is right at your fingertips! You can absolutely search specific adoption questions that you have or even specific transracial adoption questions. Just make sure you check credible sources.
Adoption Choices of Colorado has plenty of resources and even offers free counseling for you and your loved ones when you go through the adoption process. Whatever you decide, we will be here to help you on your journey from the beginning. We hope this was an informative way to help guide you towards how to choose a transracial adoptive family.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Nathan Dyer is a university student majoring in Communication Arts with a radio/TV/film focus. He enjoys writing professionally and dealing with hands-on problems in real-world scenarios. Among his hobbies is hiking, which always encourages him to explore new places. He looks forward to crafting written materials in the future that serve to help people from all walks of life.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!