Finding Support as a Birth Mother during the Holidays in Colorado

Just because it’s the holiday season doesn’t mean it’s necessarily the best time of the year for you. As a birth mother, you may be experiencing undue stress or elevated levels of grief due to the heightened emotions that surround the holiday season.

This is understandable. We want you to know that we are here to support you, regardless of the time of year. Our Colorado adoption office remains open for Christmas Eve/Day, throughout Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and New Year’s Eve.

Post-Placement Grief 

Typically, the holidays are a time for family, celebration and traditions. For a birth mother who made the difficult choice to place their child with an adoptive family, this could be especially emotional. Maybe you’re imagining what it would’ve been like to spend the holiday with them. The pain of what could’ve been can often seem unbearable, especially as you are bombarded with happy images of family and togetherness. It can make you question the adoption plan that you pursued and followed up with. It can make you resentful of the adoptive family that your child was placed with. There’s a presence missing from your life.

It’s understandable that you feel this grief, especially if your child was placed recently. It’s important to unpack these tough emotions, instead of carrying them with you. It will help you to move forward in a better way. If you are a struggling birth mother during the holidays, it’s important for you to take care of your mental health. Our counseling services continue to be available during the holiday season, where you can meet with a professional to help work through your grief.

Adoption Choices of Colorado is also partnered with another organization called Lifetime Healing. They provide post-placement care to birth mothers who’ve placed their child for adoption. They also provide support groups on the second Monday of each month. If there is anyone that can understand and validate your feelings, it’s other birth mothers. They have intimate knowledge of what the adoption process is like, and can be a comforting resource during an especially difficult time.

Reaching Out to Your Child 

If your situation permits, don’t hesitate to reach out to your child with a holiday card or holiday greeting. It can be a nice way for you to let him or her know that you are thinking of them, and show them how much they mean to you. If your relationship with your child and their adoptive family has flourished through the years, perhaps you will be able to spend the holiday with them in person!

If your relationship with your child has not grown to the degree you would like, or is non-existent, there are still some ways that you can honor them this holiday season. You could donate to a charity in their honor. You could also simply light a candle or hang an ornament as tribute to them, whatever aligns with the holidays that you celebrate.

Go Easy on Yourself 

Please. Take time for yourself and make sure to relax if you are able to do so. If you are in a place where your financial situation is compromised, know that Adoption Choices of Colorado has resources put in place to help you. These include, but are not limited to: support with rent, utilities, food, and other necessary expenses.

No one should be without a roof over their head during the holiday season. You deserve the ease and abundance that comes with having a safe place to live, especially during the holiday season which may come with unanticipated difficulty.

Being a Birth Mother During the Holidays 

Being a birth mother is challenging any time of year. Making the difficult choice to place your child for adoption can result in a great deal of grief and pain. The holidays are typically a time that you spend with family, and to have that part of your family missing can be extremely challenging. It’s okay to reflect on what might have been, and the life that you and your child might have had, but don’t let it consume you.

Part of the aftermath of post placement is figuring out how to move on with life. Remember why you selected the adoption process. Remember that you chose to love your child to the best of your ability, and part of that love meant placing them with a caring and supportive family who was willing and able to parent them. Hopefully this realization can bring some peace and clarity this holiday season.

If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.

Meet the Author: Katherine Burns is a journalism student at Loyola University Maryland with plans to pursue a career in the news and magazine industries. With over three years of experience writing for the Greyhound Newspaper at Loyola, Katherine specializes in Op-eds. However, she has recently branched out to cover a variety of topics, including education and sports journalism. She also has ample experience with travel blogging.

Katherine has conducted a variety of interviews in her time at Loyola and has displayed her stories through differing forms of media. In addition to her studies at Loyola, Katherine spent the fall of 2019 studying communications at the American University of Paris.To learn more about Katherine, be sure to check her out on social media.

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