Common Adoption Misconceptions about Colorado Birth Mothers
The general public’s acceptance of adoption as a legitimate, loving way in which a family is created has grown significantly in recent years. Still, sometimes myths and misconceptions about adoption in Colorado remain. If you’re exploring unplanned pregnancy options, you may be struggling with your own understanding of what it means to be a birth mother. Adoption Choices of Colorado knows that unplanned pregnancies can happen to anyone. Let’s debunk a few of the most common adoption misconceptions about Colorado birth mothers.
If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption Choices of Colorado.
Common Misconceptions about Colorado Birth Mothers
Myth #1: If you’re considering giving up your baby, you must not love him or her.
Many expectant mothers feel unable, unprepared, or unwilling to parent a child. However, that doesn’t mean they don’t love their children. In fact, the truth is very much the opposite! Choosing to place your child for adoption is a selfless act. Selecting just the right family to raise your child shows just how much love you as a birth mother have for your child. Placing your child for adoption is not an easy decision, but contrary to this adoption misconception, it’s a choice that places your child’s needs ahead of your own and that demonstrates tremendous love for your child. A birth mother never forgets her child. Even with a closed adoption, her child is never far from her thoughts.
Myth #2: A birth mother will change her mind and try to regain custody of her child.
Once a parent has signed the paperwork relinquishing parental rights, there is no going back. While the moment the birth mother gives her baby up to the adoptive family can be heart-wrenching and devastating for her, in the vast majority of adoptions in Colorado, the birth mothers do not regret their decision. With open adoptions, birth mothers can maintain contact with their child’s adoptive family and still see their child grow. Birth mothers who choose closed adoption do so for a reason – sometimes for the child’s safety or for their own privacy. Very rarely do those reasons change. Once the paperwork is signed, and the adoption is complete, the adoptive family becomes the child’s legal parents. The adoption professionals at our Colorado adoption agency work with everyone in the adoption triad to ensure there are no misunderstandings about the adoption process or misconceptions about child custody.
Myth #3: Birth mothers are promiscuous teens who party too much and live irresponsibly.
Unexpected pregnancies can happen to any sexually active woman at any time in her life. A birth mother who researches her unplanned pregnancy options and contacts an adoption agency is not irresponsible. Sometimes birth mothers are teens, but often they are not. Any expectant mother who feels unable to parent her child and is considering adoption deserves respect for working to make the best choice for her child, not a judgment for what may or may not be her lifestyle. Adoption Choices of Colorado helps connect birth mothers with quality prenatal medical care to ensure both the birth mother and the baby are healthy and well cared for throughout the pregnancy.
Colorado is Changing Misconceptions about Birth Mothers and Adoption
Many years ago, adoption in our culture was treated with secrecy and shame. Birth mothers were kept hidden away and pretended to have never been pregnant. Adoptive families often kept the adoption secret, even from the child. Those things are no longer true. The shame and stigma associated with adoption is a thing of the past. With the increasing popularity of open adoption, birth mothers and the adoptive families often share close relationships that benefit everyone in the adoption triad.
Since 1990 we have recognized the Saturday before Mother’s Day as a special day to honor the love and sacrifice of birth mothers across the globe who placed their children for adoption. Birth Mother’s Day, this year on May 8, 2021, is a great time to reflect on the love, sacrifice, and dedication given by birth mothers who place their children for adoption; as well as to offer support for them as many birth mothers still struggle with feelings of grief, guilt, and loss.
Adoption Choices of Colorado does not judge anyone facing an unplanned pregnancy and feels unable or unwilling to parent a child. A birth mother does not need to explain why she feels parenting her child is not the best choice. Adoption is a loving option that deserves to be celebrated rather than condemned. Working with your caseworker, you can create an adoption plan that becomes a life-long positive experience for you and for your child.
If you are a birth mother who has already placed your child for adoption and is struggling with processing your grief and loss post-adoption, your caseworker can connect you with a person, group, or service to help.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: After graduating from the University of Michigan with a degree in Education, majoring in English and Social Sciences, Brianne Davis has spent her adult life as an educator, first in the public schools, later through martial arts. Her ability to convey difficult concepts, navigate varied learning styles, and always keep it interesting defined her reputation as an impactful instructor. Many of her early published blogs centered on the goal of helping other instructors effectively teach children for whom learning is a struggle. Once an empty nester, she committed to sitting in traffic less and writing more. With those goals in mind, she, along with her husband and dogs, packed up, sold their family home, and moved to the banks of the Columbia River in Central Washington’s wine country, where the pace of life is slower, and the sun shines brighter. Realizing in our modern age, more of us turn to the internet for information than ever before, Brianne now dedicates her time to educating others through blog writing.
As a life-long information junkie, Brianne enjoys taking deep dives into new topics, then condensing them in an interesting way to convey valuable information in a relatively short amount of space. Once her career, Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and mixed martial arts remain hobbies, along with boating, reading, and traveling.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!