Colorado Open Adoption Pros and Cons
If you’re pregnant, need help, and looking into adoption options, you may have already learned there are different kinds of infant adoption plans available to you in Colorado. Things have come a long way since the early days when people treated adoption like a shameful secret. It used to be common to not even tell adoptees that they were adopted.
Today things are very different. Most adoptions have some level of openness. Birth mothers can choose their baby’s adoptive family and form a relationship with them. Adoptees and adoptive families no longer have to suffer through incomplete or non-existent medical histories; and adoptees don’t need to search for their roots.
Most adoption professionals agree that open adoptions are usually the most beneficial type of adoption for everyone in the adoption triad. But Adoption Choices of Colorado is among the adoption agencies in Colorado that still offer closed adoption because, in some cases, a closed adoption is the best choice.
What are some Benefits of Open Adoption for Birth Mothers?
Open adoption is the most popular type of adoption in Colorado. But despite its popularity, open adoption still has both pros and cons. Under most circumstances, the benefits of open adoption outweigh the drawbacks.
- In an open adoption, you get to choose your baby’s adoptive family. Adoption Choices of Colorado does comprehensive background checks on all prospective adoptive parents to ensure they will provide a safe, nurturing home for your baby. We then give you information, including pictures and letters, from those potential adoptive families. You have complete control over the decision of who will raise your baby. Often knowing your baby is being raised in a nurturing home, chosen by you, provides you with comfort post-adoption.
- You can develop a relationship with your child. With open adoption, you have the option to receive photos of your child and updates as he or she grows. If both parties want it, you could even build a relationship with your child directly. Receiving regular updates, or even checking in directly with her child, allows a birth mother to see her child thriving. Seeing your child happy and healthy can be reassuring if you’re experiencing feelings of grief and loss post-adoption.
- When your child has questions about family history or the adoption process, with open adoption, you can be there to answer them. Most adoptees have questions as they grow up. They might be curious about their birth father, ancestral heritage, genetic traits, or why they were placed for adoption. With an open adoption, you have the opportunity to answer your child’s questions about his or her adoption story yourself. You can explain why and how you made the brave and loving choice to place him or her for adoption.
If Open Adoption is so Beneficial, What are the Disadvantages?
When looking at open adoption pros and cons, it’s important to remember that every adoption story is unique. For people in some situations, open adoption is not the best choice.
- You have less privacy in an open adoption. A birth mother concerned for her own safety or the safety of her baby, may not want an open adoption. A closed adoption is the best way to make sure your child is safe from any dangerous people or circumstances in your life. Even if safety isn’t a concern, you may not want to share your personal information with the adoptive family and that’s okay! A semi-open or closed adoption could be a better choice for you.
- Some birth mothers may find it harder to find closure with ongoing communication between themselves and their child’s adoptive family. If you know you do not want contact, an open adoption is not a good option for you. For some birth mothers, a fresh start and a closed door is a better pathway toward healing.
- Open adoption can cause boundary issues. Boundary issues can be anything from the adoptive family deciding they want more (or less) contact to the birth mother disagreeing with their parenting choices. Sometimes the uniqueness of these relationships can cause misunderstandings or overstepping of boundaries. Often these kinds of problems can be solved by open communication. But, if you aren’t interested in the kind of relationship the adoptive family is hoping for, it can cause strain in the relationship.
How do the Pros and Cons of Open Adoption Impact the Adoptee?
Unless safety is a factor, most Colorado adoption professionals agree that open adoption is the most beneficial choice for adoptees. Open adoption gives kids a better understanding of their own history, a wider network of family support, a better understanding of themselves, and access to medical history information. Adoptees in closed adoptions often describe a “missing piece” in their lives. But with some level of openness in their adoptions, adoptees express higher self-esteem and confidence in their own identities.
Whether you’re a teen or an adult, if you’re an expectant mother looking for pregnancy help or adoption options, Adoption Choices of Colorado can help. Even if you’re in crisis right now, you won’t always be. Your adoption caseworker can review all of our adoption options with you to help you make the best plan for yourself and your baby.
Adoption Choices of Colorado offers multiple adoption options with varying levels of openness. If you are interested in learning more about adoption in Colorado or need pregnancy help, contact us to get started.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: After graduating from University of Michigan with a degree in Education, majoring in English and Social Sciences, Brianne Davis has spent her adult life as an educator; first in the public schools, later through martial arts. Her ability to convey difficult concepts, navigate varied learning styles, and always keep it interesting defined her reputation as an impactful instructor. Many of her early published blogs centered on the goal of helping other instructors effectively teach children for whom learning is a struggle. Once an empty nester, she committed to sitting in traffic less and writing more. With those goals in mind, she, along with her husband and dogs, packed up, sold their family home, and moved to the banks of the Columbia River in Central Washington’s wine country, where the pace of life is slower and the sun shines brighter. Realizing in our modern age, more of us turn to the internet for information than ever before, Brianne, now dedicates her time to educating others through blog writing.
As a life-long information junkie, Brianne enjoys taking deep dives into new topics, then condensing them in an interesting way to convey valuable information in a relatively short amount of space. Once her career, Brazilian jiu jitsu and mixed martial arts remain hobbies, along with boating, reading and traveling.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!