Choosing a Single Father as Your Child’s Adoptive Parent

By Isabelle Bryan

As a birth mother, one of the most important aspects of adoption planning is the choosing of an adoptive family. For some birth mothers, this may be a relatively easy decision. You and a family will just click, and you will know you have found the right home for your child. But for others, the process may be more difficult. You may not be sure of what you are looking for in adoptive parents. You may not even be looking for a couple to adopt your child at all.

At Adoption Choices of Colorado, we understand the potential uncertainties and concerns of choosing a nontraditional adoptive family. We also know that the best adoptive family for your child is sometimes one which may seem unconventional. And one such adoption option is single fathers. While they may not be the most obvious choice, they are by no means a lesser one. However, like any single parent, they come with some unique pros and cons to consider.

The Challenges of Choosing an Adoptive Family During Your Adoption Process

Finding the perfect adoptive family—whether a single parent, an unmarried couple, or spouses—for your child can be challenging. How prepared you are to make these decisions, and how easy they are to make, may depend on several factors. Whether you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, for example. If you are angry or upset at having to make adoption decisions, the process may be slow going. Similarly, if your child was wanted, but circumstances mean you cannot keep them, choosing an adoptive family may be difficult. 

The decision of which adoptive family to choose often requires the consideration of a number of personal details. This may include the adoptive family’s:

  • Marital status
  • Location
  • Career
  • Household—that is, whether they have other children. 
  • Religion
  • Culture
  • Sexuality
  • Personal values
  • Financial stability

Additionally, making your decision requires considering—and addressing—any questions or anxieties you may have regarding the adoptive family. 

Single-Parent Adoption Concerns You May Face During Your Colorado Adoption

Married couples, unmarried couples, and single parents can all offer your child a suitable and loving home. However, for some birth mothers, single parents—and potentially single fathers in particular—may present some concerns, such as:

  • How much time they have to spend with your child. Single parents need to work, take care of their living space, and reserve some time for self-care.
  • Only one adult is bringing in a paycheck to support the household 
  • The potential for the adoptive parent to enter into new relationships. This may mean they spend less time with your child. You may also be concerned that it will confuse your child to see their adoptive parent date. 
  • Whether a single father will be a good fit for your child. You may worry that they will not be as devoted or prepared to be a parent. 
  • How much paid paternity leave they have access to, if any

However, it is important to remember that all of these problems can be solved, worked around, or reconsidered. With the right support system, your child will have plenty of people to care for them. Jobs can be changed and flexible employers may modify schedules or allow for remote work. Financial assistance and planning can go a long way. Dating can be put on hold. Additionally, you can meet with prospective adoptive families in order to ask questions and form a more personal opinion. 

The Benefits of Placing Your Child With a Single Father During Your Adoption in Colorado

Single parents may face a variety of challenges when adopting a child. People may judge them for not being a traditional family, or wonder if they are a good enough parent. Single fathers, in particular, may have their parenting skills taken into question. You might even feel the same way. But single men can also possess a variety of admirable qualities that will make them excellent fathers, including: 

  • Determination and perseverance. Unless they get lucky, looking to adopt a child as a single man can mean a long waiting period. Sticking with the adoption process and staying motivated may be a good indicator of their readiness to be a parent. They are also good qualities to have, and something the adoptive father can teach your child. 
  • A potentially higher paycheck may mean they have less financial struggles as a single parent
  • The ability to give your child their undivided attention. Without a spouse or other children, time with your child is time spent only with your child.
  • A stable home environment. While a single man may enter into a relationship later, they are unlikely to experience relationship troubles until then. 
  • The more judgment a single father faces, the thicker his skin may be. This ability to weather criticism and stay sure of their adoption decision may help to reassure you of their suitability. 

Remember: There is no one right kind of adoptive family.  Do not count someone out just because they are not a conventional married couple. Many children have been successfully and lovingly raised by single parents. All that should matter is the kind of life your child will have with their adoptive family. If you think your child will be loved and cared for, then they are probably going to the right home.

Adoption Support and Resources Provided by Adoption Choices of Colorado

The adoption process in Colorado can be a long and stressful road. But we at Adoption Choices of Colorado are here for you. Our adoption agencies provide eligible birth mothers with a variety of adoption resources, including:

  • Assistance in creating a hospital and birth plan
  • Adoptive family profiles and letters to help you make your decision
  • Access to professional counseling and birth mother support groups during and after your child’s adoption in Colorado
  • Living expenses for eligible birth mothers
  • Transportation to appointments and to pick up prescriptions
  • Assistance in searching for housing
  • Help to pay medical expenses. If your insurance does not cover health care costs during your pregnancy, the adoptive family pays the bill.
  • The support of a Colorado adoption counselor when considering unplanned pregnancy options

Considering Your Adoption Options When Choosing Your Child’s Adoptive Family

As a birth mother, choosing an adoptive family can be a difficult task. You may know exactly what kind of adoptive family you want, or you may have no idea at all. Similarly, you may like the idea of a single father but worry about their ability to raise your child. 

At Adoption Choices of Colorado, we are here to support you and your child’s future during your adoption process. We are also here to help you make informed decisions rather than emotional ones. While single parents may be an untraditional adoption option, they are no less able to be exceptional parents. The most important thing to consider is whether they will give your child the life they deserve. If they can do that, then you have found a good adoptive family. And if you have any further questions regarding single-parent adoption, just give us a call. Our adoption agencies in Colorado will be happy to help.

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