Choosing a Single Adoptive Father as a Birth Mother
Single parent households are becoming increasingly more accepted in mainstream society as educators, parents and researchers begin to recognize that the quality of parenting doesn’t depend on strict adherence to a traditional two-parent nuclear family model. The most important piece of parenting is providing a loving, stable home. A single father can offer this gift to your child just as well as a traditional two-parent home can. There are many reasons you may consider choosing a single adoptive father as a birth mother. Adoption Choices of Colorado is here to help you outline the process, considerations, and benefits of choosing a single adoptive father for your child.
The Process
Adoption Choices of Colorado provides counseling services to birth mothers who are facing unplanned pregnancy and considering adoption. This allows you to better understand what is most important to you in an adoptive parent, and to articulate what you are looking for. You can also discuss your interest in single parent families with your adoption caseworker, who will assist you in choosing potential matches. Getting to know potential adoptive fathers will help you to assess whether choosing a single adoptive father is right for you. In addition, developing a relationship with your chosen adoptive family is crucial in setting up and maintaining a successful open adoption plan.
Many birth mothers find that other qualities are much more important to them in adoptive parents than a two-parent home, and there can be many benefits to choosing a single adoptive father. However, there may also be some added worries and fears regarding this choice, and a counselor can help you to sort through those thoughts and feelings.
Considerations
Birth mothers may hesitate to choose a single adoptive father because this does not meet the dominant cultural ideal of a family. Taking time to reflect on which of your concerns are grounded in concrete fears, and which are due to societal expectations, can be helpful to consider in this process. It is important to determine and articulate what appeals to you personally about choosing a single adoptive father as a birth mother, as well as what you may be worried or hesitant about. Addressing concerns regarding finances, work-life balance and support networks directly with prospective adoptive father candidates can be a great way to ultimately make a choice that feels good to you.
Being at peace knowing that your child is taken care of is deeply comforting, and while there are real added difficulties that single parent households face, most prospective single adoptive fathers have thought through each of these meticulously. After all, single adoptive parents are single parents by choice. It is not one they have made lightly. There can be a powerful sense of stability to not worrying about the unfolding relationship dynamics of a couple you choose as adoptive parents.
Benefits
There are many wonderful benefits to choosing a single adoptive father as a birth mother. Single adoptive parents get to be the sole direct parenting influence in your child’s life. This allows for stability and uniformity in disciplinary choices, values, beliefs and other important parental choices. It’s immensely beneficial for children to have unwavering expectations that don’t vary between two parents.
Choosing a single parent also eliminates the potential for disparate opinions on financial decisions. It can be difficult for a child to see his or her parents arguing or struggling in their own relationship, as that experience can create added instability in a child’s life. There’s a lot of unknowns when it comes to the complex dynamics of two adults who are simultaneously in the roles of individuals, partners and parents. Single family households, by comparison, can focus their love, energy and time solely on their child. Single parents also tend to understand the deep importance of a community.
Single adoptive fathers understand the importance of your child’s health, safety and development. He will love and cherish your child always, and will reach out to his support system when needed. This greater community can give your child an increased sense of connection and contribute to their social-emotional skills development, which is crucial to their future success as they mature. Single adoptive fathers have a deep sense of commitment and will work hard to provide everything possible for you child.
Choosing a Single Adoptive Father as A Birth Mother
Making a choice of adoptive parents is a deeply personal decision. There are many wonderful choices of adoptive families available to you as a birth mother, and Adoption Choices of Colorado is here to assist you in every way possible.
Single adoptive fathers tend to be very driven, responsible individuals, and these excellent parents are often overlooked. You may find it very rewarding to consider this growing population of prospective single adoptive fathers. The qualifications for an upstanding childhood often have nothing to do with the makeup of a family; but, rather, the love, support and stability offered by said family. Single adoptive fathers are uniquely qualified to provide an added sense of stability and to create an extended community in which your child can thrive. Through open adoption, you can continue the relationship with your chosen adoptive father and be a part of that loving network supporting your child.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Call us: 720-371-1099, Call or Text us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Kara Bringewatt is an English major and psychology minor at Queens University of Charlotte. She plans to get her masters in social work and work at a nonprofit as a case manager for at-risk youth. She loves using writing as a means of creating community and bringing attention to causes she’s passionate about.
Kara is particularly interested in educational and mental health interventions for young people in foster care. She’s worked as a tutor, professional caregiver, preschool teacher and acting instructor, and loves being able to utilize her wide range of passions to support young people and plans on being a foster and adoptive parent.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!