Can I Become a Surrogate Mother for a Friend or Family Member?
You may have a close friend or family member, like a sister, who is having a hard time becoming pregnant or doesn’t wish to go through that process. They might be looking into surrogacy and seeing that is the best option for them. You might love being pregnant and have had great personal pregnancies in the past. This is where you could help out your friend or family member, be selfless, and become a surrogate mother.
Many don’t know that you can become a surrogate mother for someone you know personally. You can absolutely do that! This is an option for you, and it might make the intended parents more comfortable if they have someone they trust carrying their baby. You may also already live close to them, so the travel for all of the medical procedures and screenings won’t take up too much of your time.
Here at Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado, we have a lot of information about surrogacy. We can help you figure out the best options when it comes to being a surrogate mother for a friend or family member. We want to make you and the intended parents as comfortable throughout the Colorado surrogacy process as possible.
If you or someone you know is interested in becoming a surrogate, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado.
Make Sure You Fit All of the Surrogacy Requirements
You can’t just become a surrogate mother overnight for a friend in need. This is a process, and it is so important that you qualify for all of the surrogacy requirements. There are certain surrogacy requirements that you must meet in Colorado to become a surrogate mother.
- There is an age requirement of 19-39.
If you are 18 or 40, you are disqualified from being a surrogate mother for your friend. Once you reach the age threshold, you may be qualified depending on the status of the other surrogacy requirements.
- You need to have a BMI that is healthy for your height or is no greater than 32.
This is very important because having a healthy body and lifestyle is important, especially when carrying the intended parent’s baby. Fortunately, this surrogacy requirement can be met with a healthy diet and lifestyle, so don’t feel discouraged if your BMI isn’t as healthy as it should be for your height. You can take your time to get to that healthy BMI number to do something selfless for your close friend or family member.
- You must have carried at least one pregnancy successfully to term with no major complications.
This is important because you and your doctors don’t know whether you can have a healthy pregnancy to term if you have never been pregnant before. This is also a great surrogacy requirement because you may not like being pregnant when it’s your own child, but if you have had past personal pregnancies that you loved, then being a surrogate mother will be a walk in the park for you.
- You must agree to go undergo and pass a psychological screening and pass.
Having good mental health and being in tune with your emotional well-being are important when becoming a surrogate mother. Therefore, psychological screening is required because your doctor needs to make sure that you are mentally prepared for this type of journey. It is different from a personal pregnancy and is very tedious with checkups, more than usual, because of how different this process is.
- You have to be a United States citizen or permanent resident.
This is self-explanatory, but it is important when it comes to the legalities of the surrogacy process.
- You cannot use drugs, smoke, or drink alcohol.
This is very important for any pregnancy. The use of any type of alcohol or drugs can disrupt the baby’s growth and cause major complications in the pregnancy. This is not good, especially when you are carrying the intended parent’s baby. Being a responsible surrogacy mother is crucial when it comes to this process.
Connect with a Surrogacy Professional
Even though this will be a more personal surrogacy journey since you will know the intended parents previously, you will still need to connect with a surrogacy professional. He or she will make sure that everything is completed within the surrogacy process and runs smoothly.
The surrogacy process includes connecting with the doctors and OB/GYN, who you will see the length of the process. Your surrogacy professional will support you through the process of taking the premedications and going through the medical and psychological screenings. He or she will also help you connect with an attorney who will go through all of the legalities of the process with you. You will be guided through all of the contracts that you and the intended parents will have to sign.
You will have our surrogacy agency by your side through the IVF and embryo transfer procedures as well. You are not going to be alone in this process. Yes, your friend or family member will be there to support you, but we will be here, too. Here at Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado, our main priority is the surrogate mother, and we want to help you in any way we can.
What to Consider When Becoming a Surrogate Mother for a Friend or Family Member
- Think about your personal relationship with the intended parents
Depending on how long you’ve known your friend or if you’ve known your family member all your life, this could influence your decision to be a surrogate mother. You need to remember that this is a serious responsibility, and you will be carrying their baby. Having any personal problems between the two of you or any personal issues can cause this surrogacy process to end up uncomfortable and can disrupt the process.
In the end, you don’t want to miss that strong connection you have with the intended parents after delivering their baby. We know that if you are choosing to become a surrogate mother, you have a great relationship with your friend or family member. Make sure that this is right for you and your relationship with them before jumping into it.
- Compensation for surrogate mothers
Compensation for a surrogate mother may not mean a lot to many surrogate mothers. A lot of women become surrogate mothers to do something selfless and gratifying. This may be what you would like to do for a friend. You may feel awkward asking your friend or family member to pay for this pregnancy, but it is okay to ask for them to do so.
There is that compensation for you because of how much you will be doing for the intended parents. You may think that you want to do this free of charge because it’s for your friend or family member, but you have to remember that travel and doctor’s visits are expensive. If you do this surrogacy process free of charge, you will have to pay out of pocket for anything that isn’t covered by your insurance.
- This is an emotional journey.
Pregnancy is very emotional and can alter your hormones drastically. You need to be ready for all of the mood swings and changes in your body. Although being a surrogate mother is a fulfilling responsibility, you will have an emotional journey. We have professional counseling that we offer to our surrogate mothers, and you can go to them at any time for anything.
Are You Ready to be a Surrogate Mother for a Friend/Family Member?
This decision is huge! It could change your life forever and absolutely will change your friend or family member’s life forever. You will be doing something so selfless just to give someone you know the baby they’ve wished for. Connect with one of our surrogacy professionals here at Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado, and he or she will help you through the entire process and can help figure out if being a surrogate mother for your friend or family member is right for you.
You can make whatever decision you feel is best. Being a surrogate mother is a fulfilling responsibility, especially when you are helping a friend or family member get a baby of their own. Call or text us today and see what a surrogate mother being can be like for you!
If you are interested in learning more about your gestational surrogacy options, contact Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Meet the Author: Molly Allington is an aspiring author born and raised in Syracuse, New York. When she’s not watching her latest Netflix obsession, you can find her nose deep in a book or in her writing. She has been writing books since she was twelve and is in the process of trying to get her finished books published. Molly has a BA in Creative Writing from Southern New Hampshire University. With her writing, she is hoping to share supportive information and help as many people as possible. Once she starts her own family, she is wanting to adopt.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!