Birth Mother Grief and Loss
By Jonathan Tick
The decision to become a birth mother and give your baby up with one of our adoption agencies in Colorado is tricky. Early in your unplanned pregnancy, you may have decided that you just simply can’t keep the baby. Either because of financial reasons or because you aren’t ready to take care of a child. Our adoption services may have helped you with our adoption process, and your baby is safe in a new home. But, there’s a nagging feeling that stays with you. A sense of loss, like something, is missing in your life. That feeling may be the feeling of grief and loss that’s unique to birth mothers who give their babies up for adoption. If you as a birth mother are encountering feelings like these, call your local colorado adoption agency to see how they can help.
If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption Choices of Colorado.
What are Grief and Loss in an Adoption?
The grief and loss experienced by birth mothers are uniquely tied to their baby. After all, you will be carrying a child for nine months to term. But once that’s over, you will be entrusting that child to someone else. Handing your right as the child’s biological mother to care for them to someone else.
It can be challenging to come to terms with that fact. At Adoption Choices of Colorado, we have seen many birth mothers undergo similar situations. But feeling lost and sad after giving up your child isn’t a bad thing at all. If anything, it’s healthy to experience that grief to let out your feelings and eventually overcome the hardship. Come out the other end a stronger person knowing that you made a favorable decision for you and your baby.
Overcoming the Hardships After an Adoption
Your situation regarding your feelings and grief is unique. Some birth mothers seeking adoption in Colorado have short grief periods. At the same time, others may need more time to process their feelings and emotions before getting back on their feet. Our adoption services are equipped to cover this and are ready to help bring you up when you may be at your lowest.
Your time with us doesn’t end once the baby’s been born. Our adoption agencies in Colorado believe post-placement care is one of the most essential steps in the adoption process. We see this recovery time as a crucial point where the birth mother becomes a biological mother. And fully come to terms with their decision now that the baby has gone home with their adoptive family. Based on your adoption plan, appropriate care and aid will be provided to you as was done before. This includes, but is not limited to, financial assistance in rent and food expenses and counseling and therapy aid to help air out any grievances or complications that may come after the birth.
No matter what you need, though, you can feel safe knowing that Adoption Choices of Colorado will be there.
Seeing Your Child After Placing them for Adoption
Adoption sometimes comes with placing your baby for adoption means you will never see them again. Or at the very least, not know how they’re doing. Which is, in fact, not true at all! When you look through our adoption options, choosing open adoption will ensure your rights as the birth mother to know how your baby is doing. At the very least, pictures will be sent to you to document their progress with their adoptive family. In addition, if discussed with your child, more personal interactions with your child’s adoptive parents are possible.
So while you still won’t have any legal guardian rights to your child, that doesn’t mean you never get to see them again. Most birth mothers in Colorado prefer this kind of adoption. And could be a possible solution to help alleviate the type of grief and loss that can come to a birth mother.
Adoption is a positive road to go down and gives you and your child away from living past an unwanted pregnancy. But it can also be a challenging and sometimes tricky hurdle to overcome once the baby’s been born. Grief and loss as a birth mother are entirely normal things to experience. And should you share feelings like these, then our adoption specialists will be ready to provide the appropriate counseling and therapy. So that by the end, you’ll be emotionally prepared to fully understand, accept, and be proud of the choice you made.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!