Birth Father Roles and Responsibilities in Colorado Adoptions
By Ryan Yau
If you are the father of a child being placed for adoption, you may not know how to proceed. One common misconception is that the birth father does not have much of a role to play in adoption. However, there are many ways you can support the birth mother throughout the process. Adoption Choices of Colorado can help show you what role you can play as a birth father to help out with adoption.
If you need adoption help now, please call or text us at 303-670-4673 (HOPE) or visit us at Adoption Choices of Colorado.
Deciding on Adoption
If you are reading this, it is likely that you and the birth mother have decided on adoption. This is an important decision, especially if you are married or still together. It is important to respect the birth mother’s autonomy in choosing what to ultimately do with her baby.
However, it is healthy to have a discussion about what would be best for everyone. One of the benefits of adoption is that it can be chosen at any stage of pregnancy. If the birth mother is willing to go through with the pregnancy, you can help with planning the adoption process.
Helping Create an Adoption Plan
Adoption may seem like a scary process, but creating a good plan can make the process go smoothly. An adoption plan is an outline that describes the necessary services throughout the adoption process. This can include financial resources as well as medical support needed by the birth mother during pregnancy. It also covers other services, such as counseling. Making a suitable adoption plan is important to have a good experience with adoption.
The first step to creating an adoption plan is locating an adoption agency. You can help by looking at options for nearby adoption agencies in Colorado. There are many locations throughout the state, and it is likely you will be able to find one close by.
If you are unsure about what to include in the plan, do not fret. Adoption Choices of Colorado provides the services of an adoption specialist. They will inform you about what needs to be included and how to make a strong adoption plan. With the consent of the birth mother, you can contribute by forming an adoption plan that addresses all needs.
Choosing to be a Part of Your child’s Life
One aspect of an adoption plan includes how much contact you want to keep with your child’s adoptive family. Just because you choose to place your baby for adoption does not mean you cannot be involved with their life. Some birth parents go for open adoption, which allows contacts to be exchanged with the adoptive parents. Open adoption allows you the option to contact your child and possibly be a part of their life. This is a decision that you and the child’s birth mother need to make. Of course, there is nothing wrong with wanting limited contact with your child.
Should you choose an open adoption, you would have more responsibilities as a role model for your child. It can be difficult navigating a relationship with your child if you are not their acting parent. It’s healthy to recognize that the adoptive parents will be the ones raising your child. However, you can always do your best to be a good influence. This would allow you to create a fulfilling relationship with your child.
Providing Emotional Support
Pregnancy can be a difficult process, and it would be very helpful if you provided support throughout. This can involve emotional support or even just being able to take on extra responsibilities she is unable to carry out.
While pregnancy comes with its own difficulties, even the process of adoption can be stressful. Mothers placed for adoption sometimes experience birth mother grief, which is experienced when separating from a child. Therefore, being there to support her would be extremely helpful during a potentially trying time.
Birth mother grief is a natural feeling that many mothers place their children for adoption. It is important to recognize that there can be natural levels of grief but also to know when it becomes too much. If you believe that extra or professional support is required, you can consult your adoption specialist for assistance. Counseling is a very important resource for birth mothers going through adoption and is a great way to offer help.
You should now be more confident in your role as a birth father through the adoption process. If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and want to learn more about your adoption options, contact Adoption Choices of Colorado by email, phone, or text: Email Us, Text us: 720-371-1099, Call us: 303-670-4673 (HOPE). If you are hoping to adopt, please contact us here.
Stephanie joined the Adoption Choices family in 2014 as the Child Placement Supervisor. Her love for adoption began in first grade when she made friends with twins adopted from Vietnam. Her heart grew strong over the years for adopted children and ultimately led her to graduate school where she continued her focus to her dream of working in the adoption field. Stephanie earned a Master of Social Work degree from the University of Denver in 2001. Over the past 15 years, Stephanie has worked as a pregnancy counselor and as an adoptive parent counselor for foster care, international adoption and domestic adoption, writing hundreds of home studies for families, and helping build their forever families. Stephanie is married and has three boys ages 12, 9, and 5. Together with her family she enjoys riding bike, playing games, watching her three sons compete in their various sporting and musical activities and go on vacations.
Christy Ikeler, is our Executive Director and Birth Parent Director. Christy has been with Adoption Choices Team for 18 years, since opening the doors in 2002! Christy has a true passion for what she does and her true love is working with and helping each birth parent. Whether she is up all night on the phone talking with them, taking them to doctors appointments, out for their favorite treat, providing counseling or at the hospital during labor and delivery, Christy is very involved every step of the way. She has a contagious laugh and a spunky personality that our birth moms all can bond with and relate to. As an adoptive parent herself, adoption holds a very special place in her heart and she can relate on every level with both birth parents and adoptive parents. In her free time Christy loves spending time with her daughter, gardening, baking and taking vacations with her family. Christy is an excellent leader for our team at Adoption Choices and is truly one of a kind!! As Executive Director, Christy spends time with the staff, birth parents and adoptive families in order to ensure that the agency is running smoothly. She has placed a huge emphasis on community outreach and programs for birth parents. Christy loves the opportunity to lead the agency into a brighter future.
Ms. Mackenzie has built a successful counseling career over the past 20 years, supporting mothers and families, people of all ages and genders, students, community professionals and fellow clinicians. Liv values a diverse professional focus, including the entrepreneurial life of a sole proprietor, the evaluative process of certifying foster/adoptive homes, the insightful and mindful one-on-one one work with enthusiastic clients, and serving as an advocate for underserved populations. Liv is a Licensed Professional Counselor and holds a BA in Pre-Law and Economics from American University, an MA in Counseling from Adams University and a certificate in Human Resource Management from Villanova University. Away from work you will find Liv spending time in nature, biking to the farmer’s market and adventuring with her family.
Catherine A. Madsen, joined the Adoption Choices family as legal counsel in 2013. Catherine is responsible for providing legal guidance to the Agency, training and updating staff on developments in adoption law and legislation, and program development. Catherine
Virginia Frank is an adoption attorney accredited since 1991 with the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. Ms. Frank is a leader in the field of private adoption and has completed over 4,000 adoptions in her career. Ms. Frank has a law degree from Oklahoma City University and a BA in both Political Science and Communications from the University of Oklahoma.
Cassidie has been with Adoption Choices since 2015, she has her bachelors in Interdisciplinary Affairs with concentrations in both Sociology and Business Management. Cassidie has additional training in Victim Advocacy, foster care and has been working in women’s services for over 10 years. Cassidie has always had a heart for adoption and it was her career dream to work in adoption. She started off doing volunteer work for advocacy programs, adoption organizations and worked in High Risk Maternal Fetal Medicine through the University of Colorado Hospital and Children’s Hospital of Colorado. Cassidie is also blessed to have personally experienced an adoption of her own in 2012, completing her family of five! Cassidie loves what she does as a case worker from initial phone calls, meetings, doctor appointments, interaction with the adoptive families to delivery and counseling. Cassidie has a passion for those in need and strives to help make a difference in the lives of the people she meets. She is a firm believer in being kind, compassionate and open minded in all situations. “Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, there’s no place for judgment. A kind word or compliment can go a long way!” The bittersweet moments in adoption reminds Cassidie each and every time, why she loves what she does!